My 2025 word of the year – grace

Every year I usually trust the process and it works. My word will come to me in whichever way.

One year (2014 going into 2015) I thought my word would be tend and once I’d gone through the process, it ended up being enough.

This year (2024) I was listening to Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift and on one of the days, she read two sentences within about 5 minutes that jumped out and grabbed me. The word “grace” was core in both of them and I thought, “ah, that’s what I want for next year”.

I then started seeing this word as applied to enneagram 1s on many of the enneagram teachers I follow (I also follow the hashtag #enneagram1 on instagram) and there was a lot of “give yourself grace” and so on.

So I was 96% sure my word was grace but remembering tend/ enough from ten years ago, I decided to go through the process and work through Susannah Conway’s Find your word challenge.

It was lovely and affirming and confirmed that my word was grace, but also that as supporting words, I have kindness, gentleness, ease and compassion.

So why grace?

  • what do I need more of?
  • what do I need less of?

I answered the first question immediately with grace and the second with pressure.

As an enneagram 1, I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things the right way and do the right things. If anything goes wrong and it does… a lot… the first question I ask is “what did I do wrong? why did I not see this coming?” and so on. Much, much more but let’s just say my inner critic is alive and shrieking at me all the time (plus real people in my life too).

An incident happened last year and I was blamed for something which objectively is absolutely my responsibility. When I shared this with a friend, she reminded me of the fact that I was undergoing radiation therapy during this time and could not possibly be expected to have it all 100% under control.

Here’s the thing – until she said that to me, I forgot that I was going through treatment and only saw the things I did wrong. It was a wake-up call because I would absolutely have seen this in others and shown them grace and compassion, but I didn’t extend the same behaviour to me. Isn’t that wild?!

I can give many more examples but they are all along this theme. The kids do something and I say to Dion, “I am failing as a parent” or during the cancer experience, friends behave in a way that is often not very much how a friend should behave, and I say “everyone’s got their own stuff going on”, showing everyone else grace but still beating myself up about not being 100% there for others when I am the one going through cancer treatment.

I think you can see why I need this word grace this year.

And last but not least, God has shown and will continue to show me grace. There are so many scriptures to prove this but here is the one I like most.

What is your word for 2025? And why?

{goals} Reflect on my 2024 word of the year – whole

I just read my 2023/ 2024 post which details why I chose the word tend for 2023 and whole for 2024.

Read it here.

I chose the word whole because I felt broken after 2023’s craziness. Work pressures, leadership pressures, parenting pressures and loneliness.

And then I felt like things started off well in 2024, certainly in areas other than my body but to such an extent that I considered changing my word at the end of June. I thought I’d get some thinking done on holiday to decide if I wanted a new word.

Then I came back from holidays and went straight into the suspicious mammogram and all that happened afterwards.

Of course, then, from 12 July I was plunged into the vortex of medical appointment after medical appointment, treatments and so on.

I then realised that perhaps the word whole meant my body was being restored physically. I have also never cried as much as I did last year; I said to a work friend yesterday that I am now that person who cries everywhere and in front of everyone (in waiting rooms, at the oncology rooms, at the surgeon’s office, at the hospital, in front of people, etc.) – everywhere. Maybe that was also part of becoming whole emotionally? Or am I stretching here?

I still feel somewhat broken in certain parts of my life – is this just how it goes as one ages? is life really this hard? I don’t know. That much is clear – I have no idea  and cannot control a single thing.

In summary, 2024 was not the most fun I ever had in my life (or with a word) but it will be my reminder that I had to focus on my physical body in 2024. Ironically, because of all this “single area” focus, I still have a lot of things on my medical to-do list to sort out, only one of which I have attended to (my new glasses).

How did your 2024 word work out for you?

Did it guide you with decisions? Did it focus your thoughts and feelings?

{goals} 2024 reflection – 6 things that energised me this year

I felt like doing a fun reflection here today as it’s the last #write24in2024 of the year. Big, gold star to me for completion of this project!

Also, all the serious questions feel a bit too personal for the blog but are perfect for my bullet journal.

I will therefore share 6 things that energised me in 2024.

Ballito

  1. holidays/ vacations

A strange thing about me (or maybe not so strange) is that while I love going on holidays, I really don’t like planning them at all. This is probably why we go back to the same places every year because I know I can rely on a home away from home and I know I will truly recharge.

For other types of holidays, I really like people to say “pay this for that” and I do my EFT and pack a bag.

This year, we spent a week straddling 2023 and 2024 in Clarens, much as we’re doing now between 2024 and 2025, and 8 days in Ballito. I hoped to do a week in Ireland for my 50th but that was not to be; in fact, I was visiting many medical professionals that week.

2. true connection

I started saying people and while that’s a part of it, something that truly energises me is true connection.

A good phone call, tea and a chat, a video call with a friend and so on. I have fewer friends since the pandemic and while I’m not thrilled about it, it is what it is.

There were a few gatherings this year that I kind of dreaded going to and on reflection, I realised it’s because they feel too superficial. I now have another thing happening to me where it feels like I am/ the cancer is the elephant in the room. There were two friend gatherings in November where I felt like everyone was consciously avoiding/ ignoring the topic, and honestly I don’t quite know what to do, if anything. Thoughts?

Decluttering bathmats

3. getting things done

This might be boring to many of you, but I am really very energised by getting things done. When I look back at my monthly goals lists and I see projects like “got plumbing sorted outside side gate”, it is very energising to me. I mean, I hate the phoning and emailing and hounding people, but when a project is complete, YES! Also, I now have a list of people who are easy to do business with (RotoRooter – Jhb peeps).

Also, don’t minimise the natural high of an organised drawer or cupboard too. Outer order, inner calm. And there’s a very special high that comes with decluttering – woohoo! See decluttering projects here.

4. reading

I just finished book 132 of the year. There is nothing quite like getting stuck into a book and not caring about food, my phone, the internet, instagram or anything but what is going on in the book. I love when I’m driving to work and I simply have to sit in the car in the basement to finish the last 5 minutes of an audiobook. I am still to tally up and do my full 2024 reading analysis for the year but it feels like it’s been a good year of reading for me.

Zumba – last class of 2024

5. exercise

I’ve always known that exercise in a group setting (which is how I exercise) energises me, but an unexpected benefit is that exercise also helps to reduce fatigue when you’re going through radiation treatment. My oncologists said, “move as much as you feel comfortable” and I said, “Zumba?” and they said, “sounds perfect”. And it was. It’s like how regular exercise makes you less tired. Worked for me. Also, the energy of a class full of women and the odd man dancing makes me very, very happy.

6. work 

This year work also energised me. When a lot of your life is out of control, there is something to be said for being able to do things and control things that you are good at. A friend said to me, “there’s no way I’d be working through all of this but… you are an extrovert, might be good for you”. Exactly that – I loved going into the office and leaving at 2:45 daily to make my appointment time. I had time to work, time to interact with my work friends, clients, team and other colleagues, and time to go get my body sorted out.

Over to you!

What energised you in 2024?

{goals} 2024 reflection – what went well?

Friends, I have 10 questions I’m using this year to do my reflection exercise.

I’ve already done a work reflection (on my last work day of 2024 – Friday) and it was good to work through 5 pages of questions and prompts as I considered what worked and what didn’t this year.

I won’t get to work through all 10 of the questions here on the blog but I most certainly will do so in my bullet journal. What I do want to do is work through 4 questions – reflect on my 24 in 2024 list (done), what worked, what energised and delighted me, and reflect on my 2024 word of the year (whole). That will take us into the first week of 2025.

So for today, what worked this year, or what went well?

  1. Having my 24 in 2024 list. Here is the update post.
  2. I bought a car that I love. I paid for it in cash (thank you, past self, for saving) and every day when I had to travel to all my medical appointments, I was SO GLAD that my car was reliable and had amazing aircon.


  1. Exercise – I exercised three times a week most weeks of this year. I obviously could not exercise for 6 weeks while recovering from surgery but I had a good year of exercise. Twice a week Zumba and weekly Spanish. Of note, I tried a stretch class and a pilates class and…. they are not for me.
  2. Listening and obeying God with regards to the mammogram. I wrote end of last year/ beginning of this year while in Clarens that I wanted to get better at listening and obeying. It’s not always a very conscious thing, but it is heeding the still, small voice. I still dread to think what would have happened if I hadn’t gone for my mammogram then. On a practical note, I’d still be in treatment now instead of enjoying the festive season but the treatment could have been worse (chemo and radiation, a more radical surgery, etc.).
  3. We took a family holiday in Ballito. For the first time, my sister’s family and my father joined for some of those days and it was so lovely. My sister and I said afterwards that we are so glad we took that time away before everything changed.
  4. I also got to go home (!) to PE for my father’s 70th birthday a week before radiation started. Great timing and also good to see both parents as I’m told that it’s been hard on them.

  1. I read more than 125 books. I will edit this post and put in the final number once the year is up. 125 is at yesterday when I finished Christmas at O’Mara’s. It has been a great reading year without slumps and, as usual, the key is to keep many options available, and read in every format available. It also helped that the City of Johannesburg bought many good (current) Libby books this year. When your holds come in, you get on with it and read.
  2. I wrote 24 minutes every weekend in 2024 for #write24in2024. For about 3 weekends, the writing was by hand in my line-a-day journal or in my bullet journal, but most of that time, it was writing on this blog or my newsletter. I am very, very proud of this achievement because it’s not easy to sustain a discipline for 52 Sundays! Result – my newsletter subscribers received more than 12 monthly newsletters. Yay!
  3.  Some aspects of work went very well. I can’t give any particulars, of course, but I am happy with almost everything from this year. I can share this – I felt really supported by having good work friends this year.
  4. I put on a list to have 24 fun nights. What counts? Actual different things done and nights away. At the end of December, we’ll have had 14 nights away in total, and I had an additional 6 fun nights out with friends. 20 out of 24 is great post-pandemic since I only go to gym these days and do nothing else that is fun.
  5. I wrote about my 50 gifts project which ended up at 55 gifts. It was so, so, so fun and I have carried on looking for places to give instead of receive from this year’s birthday in August too. This year I’m not aiming for a number but I am listing them. My favourite gift in this 50 – 51 year is that I chose to give a monthly donation to Thula Baby Project in Cape Town. I forgot that I’d donated last year and they wrote to ask for a once-off, so I said I’ll do better than that – let me give an amount monthly. Easy to set up and they can now count on my giving to help support mothers and babies in CT.

What worked for you this year? What went well?

{goals} 2024 reflection – how did the 24 in 2024 goals list go?

It is now the part of the year I love – reflection time! I may decide to post twice a week to get through, or I may decide to write the very abbreviated version of the annual reflection here, and properly do it in my workbooks; we’ll see!

 

I don’t think I ever posted the full list of 24 in 2024 goals. I actually have two lists and this I did tell you about.

quarterly goals update after Q1

six months in

And now here we are, with the year practically over.

24 in 2024

The statistics

  • I set 24 goals on the main list, abandoned one item and finished 21 out of the 23 which is 91% done.
  • On list 2, I set 23 goals and finished 16, which is 70%.
  • Not mentioned but done with 100% compliance to medical professionals – breast cancer, surgery and treatments – so I think I did great this year on the things that mattered.
  • My relationships are worse in some areas but I have to keep reminding myself that it takes two people to keep things alive. Not everything in the world is my responsibility.

What worked?

  • Having once-off items sprinkled into the list amidst project-based goals
  • Having an open mindset so that upholder tightening didn’t set in
  • Getting big things done early
  • Building review time into every month’s rhythms
  • Abandoning some things that were just not going to happen

my favourite jacaranda tree in Jhb

How do I feel?

  • After the breast cancer diagnosis, I considered abandoning everything but I found I needed a few things to work on and look forward to, like reading, exercise and writing. This turned out to be a great plan because many times, it felt like I was deep in the weeds and it helped me to have other things to focus on.
  • I will again make a 25 in 2025 list but there are a few things that are on there every year that I need to now admit are never going to happen, like weekends away with friends. I have a way higher likelihood of just doing my own thing. I think I have finally admitted that to myself.
  • I will, however, continue to set goals on the things that bring me joy, like creating, connecting and moving my body.

How did your 24 in 2024 list go?

Have you thought about what your 2025 list will look like?

{planning} It’s time to talk about diaries (planners)

Do you still use a paper diary?

Yes? No?

I use both electronic – Outlook at work and my iPhone Calendar for personal – and a paper diary.

Before each work day, I write a list of my meetings and the top 3 things I want to get done (sometimes the whole day is meetings).

Work is not the point of this blog post though.

For my personal use, I still use a paper diary, but a weekly one.

This year I used a daily one until the end of July and then I switched back to weekly from August, and it has been the best thing because my mind thinks in weeks.

Many of us are visual people and we need to see something in front of us to be most effective.

Here’s a post I wrote a few years ago that help you discover what you need in a diary/ planner.

If you have consistently bought a diary and tried to use it and have stopped after a month or so, it may be that you don’t have a consistent habit.

Is your diary visible daily? Do you have a weekly and daily routine to look at it? (set a reminder in your phone) You could try now to just write a daily and weekly list of things to do/ meetings/ appointments, etc. and if you build the habit, then buy one for the new year. If you don’t create the habit though, you’re going to again waste lots of money.

I should technically be using the rest of my diary I started in Aug (and it works perfectly for me – I even like the monthly goals and review section) but I am 98% sure I’m going to start afresh with a new diary, just as I want my life to be fresh in the new year.

What are your thoughts about diaries for next year?

{goals} Something fun from my unofficial goals list – give 50 gifts

When I did my birthday review last year, I noticed that I was feeling lonely and disconnected. When I feel like this, something that always works is to look outward and be generous.

I pondered and thought about what I could do to stop me focussing on myself, and I thought of something super fun.

I would give 50 gifts over the next year, from 6 August 2023 to 2024.

Depending on your mileage, that may seem like a lot or a little. I know that certain times of the year it is easy but I also was aware that since we don’t exchange Christmas gifts with friends, this might be a challenging but fun task.

And you know what, it was.

Here are my notes:

  1. 50 means I have to be focussed and intentional on giving at least 4 gifts a month, and then some.
  2. I didn’t count gifts to my immediate family as that was happening anyway. The purpose of the project was to get me out of my head and into new territory.
  3. Gifts include actual gifts, but also taking someone to lunch or supper for their birthday.
  4. Gifts didn’t include the R250s that are collected for someone’s baby shower or wedding at work.
  5. I noticed that many people in my work life had milestone birthdays this year and I decided to get a really nice gift for those people.

I have had many questions from people in real life.

Did you reach your project goal?

Yes, I actually ended up on 55 gifts. Indeed, some months I only gave a few gifts (1 in May, 2 in July) but February was a bumper month of  8 gifts and March was also good with 5 gifts.

How did people react?

Most of the gifts were for birthdays so the reactions were surprise and happiness. Others were genuinely dumbfounded at the thought that they were getting a random gift from me. These were the most fun.

Interestingly, a lot of people don’t say thank you properly these days which is always very interesting to me. Maybe gifts is not their love language and they were just confused? I didn’t let non-reactions put me off though. After all, I’m an upholder 😉

Wasn’t it expensive?

Yes, some of it was. I only realised that I should create a line item in my budget for gifts in April this year. They do sort of even out after a while. Food is expensive so the lunches/ suppers do get expensive but then you can also buy a few small “just thinking of you gifts” that don’t cost very much too.

Did others reciprocate?

A few did, but that wasn’t the point of the project, and I certainly didn’t expect it.

Will you do it again?

I’m not sure. I will for sure keep giving to the relationships I want to tend, and definitely continue taking people out for lunch and supper.  The actual giving of gifts does take intentionality and forethought though and I’m not sure if I have the energy over this next year of my life.

Tell me about a fun project you’ve had.

5 places I don’t want to be a minimalist (aka multiples make your life easier)

While many of us want to live simpler lives in terms of the possessions we own, sometimes it just makes sense (and keeps you more sane) if you have multiples of an item in your home.

I remember Design Mom writing about this in relation to her daughters and hairbrushes years ago which made me think about where I own multiples:

  1. pairs of scissors – I have two pairs of scissors in my study, two in the kitchen and Dion and I each have a pair of bathroom scissors too. So useful for cutting open bags of toilet roll, my Quadrofer, any plastic packaging around the boxes some of my creams come in.
  2. wastepaper baskets – I have one in every single room and bathroom of my house and I have two in the study – normal items and paper recycling
  3. Panado – this is personal to me but let it inspire me. My body hates the heat and it’s hot in South Africa 9 months of the year, so I sometimes have to have a panado to stave off a headache. I keep Panado in my car (after I had to go to the store on the way from work to gym one evening), in my handbag, bedside table, medicine cabinet and also downstairs in the kitchen with our other vitamins.
  4. Phone chargers – I keep these everywhere: in my work laptop bag, in my car, at my bedside table and one downstairs in the kitchen. The very best thing is that I’m the only iphone user in my house so they never go missing.
  5. Tiny silicone spatulas (life changing) – I love all things miniature so I first bought a set of 5 miniature utensils because they were cute. Then once I started using them I couldn’t stop. They are awesome for getting last bits of things from jars like mayonnaise, peanut butter, pesto, yoghurt, etc. I now own about 6! Try it – you won’t regret it.

What do you have multiples of that make your life easier?

PS I am getting to be that woman who now puts teaspoons on her monthly shopping list because I can’t stand my things disappearing into the teens’ bedrooms anymore. I joked yesterday to Dion (and maybe it was genius joking) that I’m buying everyone a different set of teaspoons for Christmas. Hmmm. 😉

My habits and routines for exercise, healthy eating and photos – some work and some don’t

Sometimes it’s fun to consider other areas of life to see how those work or don’t work. I’ll share both to show you the difference.

Exercise

  1. I like to exercise three times a week and feel most like myself when I keep to this rhythm.
  2. Whenever Spanish happens, I’m there because I’m paying for it and don’t like to waste money. I almost never miss a class unless I’m out of Johannesburg. Most years I’d get the highest attendance award.
  3. The one part of gym exercise that has been a solid habit for the last 21 years is Saturday morning Zumba. I set my clothes out on a Friday night, roll out of bed on a Saturday morning, dress and go. No thinking allowed.
  4. What doesn’t work? When the gyms move the schedule around during the week, it completely throws me off. I’m currently able to attend Tuesday night Zumba at the gym of my choice during the week because my current gym is undergoing renovations. When that ends and I’m restricted to just my usual again, the mid-week exercise will be spotty, at best.

Healthy eating

  1. When I pack my lunch bag for work, I am excellent. I eat everything in the bag most days so my eating is nutritious and healthy.
  2. When I work from home, I just eat whatever. I still try and eat enough fruits and vegetables but honestly, most times, I grab and eat what is most convenient.
  3. I guess the answer is to pack myself a bag for WFH days too but that feels like too much work.


Photos

I have an excellent photo system. If only I could be disciplined to follow it through right to the end most months.

These days the teens don’t want to have photos taken of themselves so I take fewer photos than I ever used to. I guess this is normal but it still makes me sad (especially when I compare myself to some of my friends).

  1. I do a “daily delete”, something Becky Higgins made famous. Mine doesn’t always end up being daily, but I get to it at least 4 times a week. This way you end up with a clean camera roll of photos you really want to keep.
  2. I also “favourite” any photos I want to post to Instagram or the blog so that it’s quick and easy to find later. Some of these also get saved to my albums.
  3. Once a month, in an ideal world this would be the first weekend following the month end, but is usually around the middle of the month, I remove all the photos from my phone and back them up. I leave some favourites (usually the people photos) on my phone.

Tell me about some fun hacks you have for exercise, healthy eating and photos.

PS I intended to write about money habits here too, but I think that can be a post all on its own.

Five Senses portrait of radiation therapy

On Wednesday when I was laying on the radiation table/ bed, I thought that I should write a Five Senses portrait so that I remember this month when it’s all over.

Here’s the background.

breast cancer awareness month

Sight

  • The tree-lined jacaranda street as I drive to the oncology radiation unit.
  • The friendly smile of the security guards.
  • Sweat on the workers as they do their work in the heat outside.
  • The smiling photo wall of all employees in the radiation unit.
  • The big tree with all the buttons of those who have completed their treatment cycles and the big brass bell which I cannot wait to ring!
  • The colour of that day’s scrubs. I commented once and there is indeed a colour of the day. However, all students doing their practicals wear grey.
  • The sight of the basket (I’m number 16) with the sheet for the bed, the box with the reflective markers and my treatment card.
  • The always friendly faces of the radiation therapists.
  • The red lines of the infrared tracking cameras on the ceiling as the machine moves into position.
  • The screen above the bed and the yellow bar of my breaths that have to move onto the blue bar so that my heart is in the correct place for the treatment to my breast. (Deep Inspiration Breath-Hold)

Smell

  • The smell of cement as I walk to and from my car to the building.
  • My stale smell as I am not allowed to wear deodorant in the left armpit. I welcome cooler days and there have been about 5 so far (I am halfway through at the time of writing).

Hearing 

  • Building sounds outside the unit
  • Crunch of my car’s wheels as I drive into the parking lot
  • The stamp of the rubber stamp as the receptionist validates my parking ticket.
  • “We’re ready for you, Mrs Francois”
  • “Take a few breaths. Now take some deep breaths in and out. When you’re ready, take a deep breath and HOLD. Perfect!”
  • The sound of the treatment bed shifting into position.
  • The sound of the treatment beams
  • The gantry moving the
  • “Alright, we’re all done for today. You can relax your arms now.”
  • “How many sessions left?” (this is because I started out saying, “one down, twenty to go”)

Taste

  • The delicious taste of ice-cold water from the dispenser after most of my treatments (I don’t drink anything before in case I need the loo while on the bed).
  • Some days I also bite into a sweet and tart Granny Smith apple as I walk out and to my car.

I used to have a shift dress in this exact colour a million years ago that paired with a jacket; I loved that outfit!

Touch

  • The feel of the cornstarch I dab in my armpits. I dab some fresh cornstarch just before treatment so I don’t smell.
  • The cotton of the pale-blue gown against my skin that I’m required to wear.
  • The feel of the radiotherapists’ hands taping the block with reflective markers to my chest, and moving both my torso and my arms into position. Andile is the therapist with the cold hands 😉
  • The welcome cool temperature of the treatment room; it’s hot outside because it’s summer in Johannesburg.
  • The feel of my cap on my head as I walk back out into the hot Johannesburg sun.
  • The feel of the parking ticket and either coins if I have it, or a note, to pay for my parking.
  • The welcome cold of my car’s aircon blasting as I drive home.

 

I hope this was interesting. I might come back and edit the post if I remember other sensations.

Do you have any questions?

PS here’s another Five Senses portrait of Saturday morning Zumba.

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