7 Oct 2024 by Leave a Comment

20 15-minute small spaces to declutter and organise

I think with the diagnosis and all the medical appointments I’d forgotten that it is actually spring, a lovely time of year that I look forward to for a little kick-in-the-pants house action.

I’m a big fan of starting small to build momentum (you might resonate with some other reasons) so I put together 15 15-minute decluttering and organising tasks for us all to do. See how you go – do one a day and maybe on the weekends, you can do more an hour’s worth.

I like to set a timer and listen to a podcast or audiobook while tidying; and sometimes I also put on some 80s get up and go music.

Here we go:

  1. bedside table (honestly, I probably do 10 minutes on my bedside table every week)
  2. medicine cabinet (remember to bag up expired medicines and hand them in at your nearest pharmacy; don’t just chuck them down the toilet or in the bin)
  3. jewellery
  4. underwear
  5. socks

  1. winter pyjamas – winter has just ended so it’s a good time to see which items you avoided or that are too stretched/ old to hold onto
  2. handbag
  3. laptop bag
  4. make-up bag
  5. nail polish
  6. wallet
  7. desk and if you have desk drawers, you might need another 15 minutes here
  8. fridge (another area I do a 10-minute stint in every week)
  9. entrance way table or dining room table (the place where things get dumped by the whole family) In my house it has been both these tables, depending on the house
  10. car (and boot)

  1. cutlery drawer
  2. junk drawer
  3. pick one cupboard in your kitchen – plates, bowls, glasses, plastics, etc.
  4. water bottles
  5. foil/ bin bags/ baking paper/ plastic wrap

From the time I’ve allocated (15 minutes), you can see it’s not deep, agonising organising. It’s going with your gut instinct and answering 5 quick questions:

  • What sparks joy?
  • What doesn’t spark joy?
  • What’s old and no longer works well?
  • What have you not used?
  • What’s past its sell-by date (actual or in your life)?

I did my jewellery this weekend – cleaned everything (I use a dip), rinsed and air-dried, and then I rearranged and this is when you find things you forgot you owned, and so I’m wearing different earrings today.

Screenshot this post and save it in your photos. Then simply cross out the items until you’ve worked your way through the list – we still have just over two months left 😉

Filed Under: 15-minute Fridays, Decluttering, Organising Tagged With: ,
23 Sep 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about relationships

This is part 4 of the Things I’ve learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Part 3 – social media

Part 4 – goals

  1. People first, then things. This applies for money, for time and for priorities. Some of our closest friendships happened because we always prioritise time with them even if it’s not the most convenient time. In the photo below, that was our anniversary but our friend was here in Jhb, unexpectedly for family stuff and we were thrilled that we got to spend time together.
  2. Always be kind. It feels like a trite thing to say but I see a lot of unkindness and it’s unnecessary 99% of the time. So much can be overcome by just being kind. I am personally undone by kindness and always will remember people fondly who showed me kindness.
  3. As far as possible, leave every interaction better than before you arrived.
  4. Smile. Most things in life can be improved by interacting with a person who smiles.
  5. Say hello and exchange a few words with cashiers, tellers, receptionists, people in the queue with you. These micro interactions are what life’s all about and might be the only time someone gets to talk to a fellow human being.

    1. Assume positive intent (I know I wrote this in the social media post too; yes, it is that important) and give people the benefit of the doubt.
    2. You don’t always have to be the one to stoke the fire of your relationships or be the only one reaching out; do your part anyway.
    3. Learn the 5 love languages, enneagram numbers and Tendencies of those closest to you, both family, friends and close work colleagues. This will help you to see things from others’ points of view and help you to improve your interactions.
    4. Choose true connection over superficiality. E.g. a 1:1 coffee date is always going to feed your soul more than light chit-chat with a group of friends.
    5. Forgive small grievances and be the low-maintenance friend.

Bonus – Sometimes friendships will break down or your friends will ghost you and you will not know why or if you did anything to cause it. This has happened to me before and another friend had to tell me, “sometimes you won’t ever find out the why”.

Tell me your relationship learnings, tips and tricks. What else can you add to my list?

Filed Under: Intentional living, Personal
16 Sep 2024 by Leave a Comment

Demerits and gold stars

Once I finish an audio book, I like to catch up on all the podcasts I’ve missed.

I finished The Connellys of County Down by Tracey Lange recently (excellent – 5*) and one of the podcasts I lneeded to catch up on is Gretchen Rubin’s Happier podcast.

Liz and Gretchen alternate at the end of every episode by giving themselves or others demerits and gold stars. They have shared before that this segment motivates both of them to do better (I agree!). If it doesn’t do the same for you, skip this piece.

I’m not sure if I’m motivated enough to do this every week but I thought I’d do so for the last week.

Gold stars

  1. I very rarely have to work at the office for 3 days at a stretch but this week I did, and I made it. Gold star to me. Double points is because two of those days had very, very long days, especially since I’m still recovering.
  2. Even though it was not on my list (!), I washed all the blankets in the lounge. We had two very hot days and it seems like a sin to not use the sun, so I did.
  3. I am listening to my body and going to bed early (for me) so that my healing can continue.
  4. For doing a piece of work four days early, and for preparing for something that is probably happening soon. Since I have no idea (yet) what my treatment plan looks like, I am not procrastinating on anything so that I am as up-to-date as I can be.
  5. I painstakingly answered and responded to a whole load of whatsapp messages yesterday and it feels good. I’m channelling Laura Tremaine and putting this piece of connection on my to-do list, and if I mess up, I’m just admitting it, apologising to the people and moving on.

Demerits

  • I decided to go and write this post at the gym in the lovely aircon while enjoying a smoothie/ tea (depending how cold it was inside) and… the Kauai was closed for renovations, so I had to leave. The last time I was at the gym was 17 August and I vaguely remembered that renovations were afoot but I guess I should have phoned to check first.
  • For impulsively responding to an email and upsetting someone at work. I have apologised but not sure it was accepted or received.
  • I also give myself a demerit for getting down on myself. Why is healing not linear? Why do I feel 9/10 some days and on other days I am back in that first week after the diagnosis? Paired with this is a tiny gold star – I recognised that I absolutely need to take my Evening Primrose Oil every single day to try and stabilise my hormones. It doesn’t work 100% of the time but there you go.

For the last week, or for September so far, what are your demerits and gold stars?

Filed Under: Intentional living, Mindset Tagged With:
9 Sep 2024 by Leave a Comment

Milestone birthdays and unexpected happenings

I have a whole list of things to write about (which will ensure that I easily get to my write 24 in 24 goal this year) but this week, I’m pausing my usual blog content for a personal update.

Those on my newsletter list already received this news at the end of August; if you’re on the list, you can skip this and get 5 minutes of your life back. For the rest, I’m pasting the entire newsletter here.

How things change in a month!

The last time we spoke (end of July) I had had a “suspicious mammogram”, a biopsy and a fine needle aspiration. Don’t worry – you didn’t miss reading this; I didn’t say a thing.

However, it was only on Friday 2 August that the surgeon uttered those words to me: you have breast cancer. And following that, I was dispatched for bloods, an x-ray and a scan. Follow up appointments were made for a few days later and based on all those results, they would schedule a visit with the oncologist.

I started crying and shaking and this happened intermittently the entire week following that appointment.

Spoiler – my bloods did not indicate any cancer markers and both the chest x-rays and abdominal scans were clear. In case you are also new to all this lingo, they do this metastasic mark-up to see if the cancer has spread.

Even though I was feeling off emotionally for months and that was the reason I had nothing planned for my big birthday, I still decided to take the week off (a la Covid times) and have a staycation. Well. I am so, so glad I had that week off to cry, attend to the medical appointments and see surgeons, oncologists, etc.

What world is this where I even have an oncologist?! I actually only started to calm down about all of this (waves hands around) after that oncology appointment because the oncologist was kind, compassionate and explained everything so nicely, what each data point means and so on.

I then had a week of work and then had surgery on 20 August. The pre-surgery procedure was the worst thing ever and I think I have PTSD from it (my blood pressure was, for me, sky high at 150 – 155) as I still start tearing up every time I try to explain it or think about it.

I’m still recovering but I am cleared to go back to work from Tuesday 2 Sept although he was sure to tell me that full healing only happens 6 weeks from the surgery, so no exercise, no lifting heavy things, etc.

The results indicate no cancer in the lymph nodes and that there is no cancer in my right breast either. This was a “probably benign” situation before surgery but we wanted a definite result.

My oncologist has requested that the tissue samples be sent to the US for genetic testing (to see what the % of recurrence is) and now I wait for another three weeks for my next  oncology appointment to discuss the treatment plan.

August 2018

As for that milestone birthday…I thought that turning 50 would throw me for a loop but it turns out one is very happy to turn 50 when you’ve just received a cancer diagnosis.

While resting last week, I finally did my annual birthday review. Here’s a free printable if you want to do the same. The good news is that I wrote two columns of an A4 page on what went well over the last year and only 3/4 of a column on what didn’t go well. The didn’t go well column is still terrible but it’s smaller, right?

I have also made a list of things to do for this next year with everything (seriously, everything being held loosely) but my number 1 goal is to get through the cancer treatment. That’s it; everything else is just a cherry on top. The type of cancer is hormone receptor positive so I’m off my patch and hormone blockers will start sometime this year, I guess. What does this mean for me?

Well, I have started having little hot flashes at night which is going to be interesting as I already hate the heat. Pray for me!

 

The only action for this week’s blog is…

  • if you’re 40 or older, or you have a family history, do schedule your mammogram (I have no family history, felt no lumps and had a clean mammogram 10 months earlier than this one)
  • once you make your appointment, please comment and let me know that you’ve done so. I will be thrilled!
Filed Under: Time management
2 Sep 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about goals

This is part 4 of the Things I’ve learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Part 3 – social media

And now, for my favourite – the one about goals. I realised that I could write 50 things on goals and 50 things on time but let’s focus in on just 10.

  1. The principles always work if you work the principles. This sounds hella boring but it’s so true. Even when things are going down the tube (cancer diagnosis, etc.), I’ve realised that the principles still work.
  2. Write down your goals. This provides clarity, a sense of purpose and a reminder on what your goals actually are.
  3. Look at your goals regularly – daily (if you like – this is too frequent for me), weekly, monthly, quarterly, half-yearly – and monitor your progress. At this point, you’re also allowed to evaluate if that goal is still serving you.
  4. Once-off quick goals also serve their purpose for building momentum. E.g. organise your bedside table drawer. Suddenly you feel like you can tackle the whole bedroom’s 10 spaces.
  5. Know your why. If you don’t align your goals with your own values, you won’t want to work at them.

  1. It’s also good to have some projects to make progress on your regular habits (e.g. exercise twice a week, write every week, read a book every week)
  2. Focus on the journey, not on the outcome. James Clear talks very nicely about this piece in Atomic Habits; the gist is this: if you control the things you can do (building the regular writing habit), then you will have a book at the end of x years or y months. Saying I want to write a book is lovely but more unattainable than saying, I will write for an hour, five days a week.
  3. You will have obstacles. There is nothing wrong with you if you encounter stumbling blocks; this is all part of setting and achieving goals. Figure out how to go around/ over them.
  4. Figure out how to make your goals work for you by using your personality or your Tendency. E.g. An upholder likes a schedule. Something on the schedule will almost always get done (my Saturday morning gym routine that I never miss unless sick or out of the city) An obliger likes accountability – if the obliger meets a friend at the exercise class twice a week, she will probably always pitch up.
  5. Stop to celebrate your successes, even if small. This is where the monthly review is so valuable. It will provide motivation to keep on going.


Tell me your learnings about goals. What has worked for you; what doesn’t work for you that might work for others? Do you know your Tendency and how that has played into your goal-setting?

Filed Under: Goals, Personal Tagged With: ,
26 Aug 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about social media

This is part 3 of my Things I learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Pongwe, Zanzibar

  1. Don’t go on social media on “special” days like Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. Trust me.
  2. Be generous with liking your friends’ posts; it doesn’t cost you a thing to like someone’s post but it does mean that they see that you’ve seen their posts.
  3. In the same vein, do leave comments, not only on friends’ posts but on anyone’s posts. I try to be generous and giving with comments if I have time and I know that it certainly brightens up authors’ days (they have sent me DMs to indicate same).
  4. Contribute first and then consume. You will feel better by contributing to the conversation or beauty of a platform before simply scrolling.
  5. Give yourself a daily (healthy) limit. I have a limit which I often break but at least I know that I’m then intentionally breaking my limit. This is easy to set up if you have an iphone.
  6. If you’re zoning out on a particular platform, ask yourself, “what am I avoiding?” It could be an easy answer like “doing the laundry” but it could also be enlightening like “I’m avoiding having a difficult conversaion” or “I’m procrastinating on x piece of work because of y”.

  1. Post about things that delight you, not what looks good on your grid (unless this is truly sparking joy for you). I’d started to feel at the end of last year that I should only post certain types of content and I made a goal to post delightful things to me this year. My version of delight is probably different to yours, and that’s okay. Sometimes you might need to take a complete break for awhile if the whole thing feels draining and no longer brings you joy.
  2. Remember that you can’t see or hear tone or body language on social media; hold everything loosely and don’t read into things that may not be there.
  3. Some people are really just living their lives; they are not posting AT you, they are just posting. This can feel hard when, for example, you see groups of friends having fun and you feel disconnected and lonely, or if you see people on beautiful holidays to Europe when you can’t even take a driving holiday two hours away. See 7 above – perhaps take a break for a week and see how you feel when you come back.
  4. Always assume positive intent. Look, there are people whose sole mission in life is to stir but this is not most people. Block or mute those people if you’re not ableto handle it. Then you can assume positive intent for the rest.
  5. Bonus – Does this content spark joy? You control your algorithm. If you don’t want to see gossip and strife, stop reading those posts and engaging with them (liking/ commenting/ sharing). My one account (organisingqueen) is very carefully curated to only be about organising, time management, goals, homes and reasonable tips. If I see other things creeping in, I become hyper aware and unfollow/ mark as “irrelevant”, etc. My marcia0608 account is a mishmash of friends, travel, gorgeous photography and should be pure delight. I mute or unfollow accounts if the content feels like it’s not meeting what I want that account to be.

Which learnings can you add regarding social media? I would love to know!

All three of these photos were taken within seconds of one another with slightly different perspectives

Filed Under: Personal, Social Media Tagged With: , , , ,
19 Aug 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about organising

Continuing my series (but if I can’t get to 50, I’m giving myself permission to stop) on things I learned by 50.

Here’s the first edition… on time management (even as I wrote that first blog, I thought of so much more I could write, so maybe we’ll circle back to time again).

For today though, here are 10 of my favourite things about organising.

      1. Just start. I also feel daily like I couldn’t possibly do one more thing and then I fold a sweatshirt and before you know it, my bedroom is tidy and it took 10 minutes. Pick a teensy weensy thing (decide this thing for every room in your house so that you don’t waste time thinking).
      2. “You can do anything for 15 minutes” – Flylady. It’s excellent advice for life (I tell myself this for all medical appointments) but works well for both organising and time. If you just use 1 and 2, you’re sorted for 90% of your home jobs.
      3. “Don’t put it down; put it away” – Suzanne Moore. Yes, my friend, Suzy, had lots of wisdom and I still remember her words when I walk to the kitchen and am tempted to just dump things anywhere. Two seconds longer and the thing is put away vs addint to clutter.
      4. Ask yourself, “who can use this today?” This is my favourite hack for decluttering. Most people dilly dally about decluttering BUT when they focus on thinking about people who need that jersey/ pair of shoes/ set of mugs, it’s much easier to let go. Bonus – set up weekly or monthly systems to get the things from your house to the animal shelter/ orphanage/ homeless people on the corner.
      5. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be organised. When I first blogged about that concept many years ago, it was true. It’s still true these days despite all the organising accounts on Instagram encouraging you to buy perspex containers to organise all your things. The inside of my cupboards STILL have mismatched containers. Remember the rule: if you can find what you need in a minute or two, your space is organised.

      1. One in, one out. Better still – one in, more out. I was in a home store a few weeks ago and fell in love with some beautiful side plates BUT I realised that I love my existing ones too and I’m not ready to let them go.  This is a lovely “rule” for keeping your stuff contained to their spaces.
      2. A place for everything and everything in its place. It’s the reason it’s the number one organising tip. If you don’t have a place for everything, go around your house and decree the space’s purposes. Then you and everyone you live with knows to return things to that space.
      3. Before you buy anything, ask, “where will it go?” I go around the homeware stores and think about where that blanket/ pillow is going to go (and if I need to let go of the existing one – see 6 above). This will stop you buying lots of stuff you don’t need.
      4. Surfaces are for working and not for storage – Gretchen Rubin. I never quite thought of it like this but it’s true. I’m trying to instill this in my daughter whose desk is always full of junk so there’s only a tiny bit of space to open her school books. If the desk is clear, it’s so easy to set down your homework and get to it without first having to clear all the mugs, glasses and who knows what else.
      5. Outer order, inner calm. If your brain feels like it can’t focus on what to do first, tidy your surroundings. Even tonight as I sat down to write this post, I quickly tidied my desk so that my mind is clear to focus. Same in the kitchen – make sure your counters are clear so you can be creative with cooking or at least get it done fast 🙂

Which one of these tips most resonated with you?

Do share your own favourite organising tip (I’m definitely going to have to do a part 2)

 

Filed Under: Organising, Personal Tagged With: ,
12 Aug 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about time

Last week I celebrated the milestone of turning 50.

I don’t take this lightly because two close friends died before their time during the Covid days.

I started making one of those lists I LOVE to read and then I decided to see if I had enough to post several lists of 10. I think I do because I’ve written one list on time and one on organising, so let’s see if I can stretch it to another few lists after I post about those two categories.

These are the 10 things I learned about prioritising, saving and using your time more effectively during my 50 years:

  1. Ask every day/ hour/ week/ month… what is the best use of my time right now?  This has the surprising ability to clarify your priorities and I ask this question at least once a day, and while I’m working, several times.
  2. If it’s going to take two minutes or less time to do something, just do it.
  3. Saying no is a big part of saying yes. If you struggle to say no, consider which parts you can’t say yes to because you’re saying no to the wrong things… right now.
  4. Work expands to fill the time available for it. If you want to clean your bedroom for two hours, you can do that. But if you only want to spend 20 minutes, you will get the most important things done during that time too.
  5. There’s always enough time if it’s important to you. I wrote a book about this called 31 days of enough time. If you find it important to exercise, you will make the time. If you want to connect with friends, you will figure out the how.

  1. Plan your week and plan your day before it even starts. This ensures that you hit the ground running, even if only in your mind. A plan doesn’t have to be a 10-item list; it can be 3 things too.
  2. Get enough sleep and your productivity will increase. This is the first thing I work on with all coaching clients – sleep. If you think it doesn’t matter, try getting a 7 – 8 hour block of time for about 4 – 5 days at a stretch and see how energetic you feel and how productive you are. Book your coaching session!
  3. Eat your frogs first but don’t put more than 3 – 5 frogs on your list every day. I like only 3 during a work day (and these days, one of them is to show up fully present, prepared and engaged!) and 3 – 5 on weekends.
  4. Before you add a commitment to your schedule, ask yourself if it sparks joy. Sometimes attending a meeting at school in itself does not spark joy but the outcome – knowing what’s going on and being connected with your child – does.
  5. Done is better than perfect. That first done level is at about 80%. Did you know that it will take as much time to do that last 20% as the first 80%? If you have the time and you’ve finished the first 80% quicker than you planned, by all means, do a bit extra, but it’s helpful to understand the metrics upfront.

 

Which are your favourite time tips?

Did one of these tips particularly resonate with you?

(I live to hear from you like old-school blogging so make my day and comment)

Filed Under: Personal, Time management Tagged With: , ,
29 Jul 2024 by Leave a Comment

6 months in (actually 7!) – my 24 in 2024 list

At last count I was at about 54,5% in. I’ve just done an update and am now at 56,5% with two abandoned items.

Also, how do you count things you’ve actively and intentionally abandoned?

I’ve intentionally abandoned two items:

  1. the Happiness Project Revisited – I wrote about this earlier this year. Nutshell version – due to immense postal failures, and being more than two months’ behind everyone else, I cancelled and withdrew from the project.
  2. Do Book Club weekend away or not, and decide once and for all. I have decided once and for all that this item is off my list forever. What freedom in that choice. (this one falls in the same category but I get a complete for it because I decided)
  3. Do something to celebrate my 50th birthday. Surprisingly, this was an easy decision for me. I’m usually the type to have a lunch/ party so I felt some pressure and at one accountability session with Beth, she said, “it’s your birthday, so just do what you want. You don’t need to do a big birthday party.” It feels so obvious but perhaps I needed the permission to listen to what made sense this year. I am a bit miffed that Ireland has very recently changed its visa laws because South African passport holders now need visas to go to Ireland 🙁

Back to the list!

Unsurprisingly, things that have gone well were once-off items that I could schedule or plan for, and then execute.

Also unsurprisingly, things that I’ve built habits and routines around, like decluttering, writing weekly, exercising and playing with my photography are also going well, but those I only move forward 0,08 every month, to reach a full 1 at the end of December.

The two items where I have made absolutely zero progress are:

  1. losing 5 kg (I think I’ve dipped under my start weight by 0,6kg and then gained again)
  2. doing a no-spend month (need to get clear on parameters – does it count if I’ve done a no-spend online shopping month?! I need to check if I qualify for that, at least). I have done two no-spend book months and a no-spend online shopping one. Do you know what actually helped me? By taking stock of what I already owned and first considering where those things would go, the exact same tactics I use with in-store shopping?

 How is your 24 in 2024 list going?

Bought but not read it although I read the first in the series (The Last Party) and I loved it! Bonus – these are set in the Wales/ England area which is stunningly beautiful.

P.S. For fun, where can South Africans go with easy-peasy visa requirements? Countries that require an at-airport application or something you do and pay for online with a super-quick turnaround. The whole schlep of visa applications is the exact opposite of holiday fun in my head.

Filed Under: Goals Tagged With: , ,
22 Jul 2024 by Leave a Comment

What if you had a chance to reset the year?

First published in my newsletter on 30 June 2024

I have big plans for tomorrow morning – to wake up at or just before sunset, make a cup of tea and a rusk, and do a few reflection exercises.

Honestly, I feel sad, lonely and like nothing is working out but I’m still going to sit with myself and do a proper reflection over the next few days. I also have a milestone birthday coming up which is always a good time to take stock and change course.

Join me on one or more!

1. Mid-year review

  • What has worked?
  • What could be better?
  • What have I learned about myself?
  • What needs to change?
  • What delighted me or energised me?
  • How am I living my values?

2. Word of the year review

I have never changed my word mid-year before but I might do so this year.

A few questions for your word of the year review:

  • How is my word guiding me?
  • Am I living out my word?
  • Is my word helping me make decisions in line with my values?
  • Do I need to change my word? Why?
  • How will this new word support my current circumstances?

3. 24 in 2024

I wrote about my decluttering efforts which are some of the items on my 24 in 2024 list.
Here’s my Q1 update.

I am 42% through my list as at the end May and I want to take a whole bunch of things off that I have no intention of pursuing. More in the next couple of weeks.

4. Work/ Career review

The company I work for happens to have a financial year-end of June and I’ve just finished performance discussions (and had mine) so this is the perfect time to reflect on the past year.

  • To what extent did I achieve what I set out to do?
  • Am I still making a difference?
  • What is working? (with exception reports and the like, it’s important to stop and notice if anything is working)
  • What do I need to change?
  • What do I need to finally accept? (hybrid LOL)

5. Financial review

Just because I’m on a money kick…. (are you listening to The Broke Generation podcast yet? It’s money + psychology)

  • Did I set any financial goals this year? (get out your list)
  • Am I where I thought I would be with these financial goals?
  • What is going well? (did you automate savings or transfers into an investment account?)
  • What is not going great? Why?
  • Do you need to stop and reset your goals?

Please note – these are all OPTIONS. I certainly do not mean for you to feel overwhelmed by reading this list.

What to do

  1. Pick one or two on the list.
  2. Make a cup of tea or coffee
  3. Block out 30 minutes
  4. Get writing

(Bonus – think about the prompts while you’re having your shower or bath, or even making that cup of tea – and then get writing when you sit down)

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