Five Senses portrait of radiation therapy

On Wednesday when I was laying on the radiation table/ bed, I thought that I should write a Five Senses portrait so that I remember this month when it’s all over.

Here’s the background.

breast cancer awareness month

Sight

  • The tree-lined jacaranda street as I drive to the oncology radiation unit.
  • The friendly smile of the security guards.
  • Sweat on the workers as they do their work in the heat outside.
  • The smiling photo wall of all employees in the radiation unit.
  • The big tree with all the buttons of those who have completed their treatment cycles and the big brass bell which I cannot wait to ring!
  • The colour of that day’s scrubs. I commented once and there is indeed a colour of the day. However, all students doing their practicals wear grey.
  • The sight of the basket (I’m number 16) with the sheet for the bed, the box with the reflective markers and my treatment card.
  • The always friendly faces of the radiation therapists.
  • The red lines of the infrared tracking cameras on the ceiling as the machine moves into position.
  • The screen above the bed and the yellow bar of my breaths that have to move onto the blue bar so that my heart is in the correct place for the treatment to my breast. (Deep Inspiration Breath-Hold)

Smell

  • The smell of cement as I walk to and from my car to the building.
  • My stale smell as I am not allowed to wear deodorant in the left armpit. I welcome cooler days and there have been about 5 so far (I am halfway through at the time of writing).

Hearingย 

  • Building sounds outside the unit
  • Crunch of my car’s wheels as I drive into the parking lot
  • The stamp of the rubber stamp as the receptionist validates my parking ticket.
  • “We’re ready for you, Mrs Francois”
  • “Take a few breaths. Now take some deep breaths in and out. When you’re ready, take a deep breath and HOLD. Perfect!”
  • The sound of the treatment bed shifting into position.
  • The sound of the treatment beams
  • The gantry moving the
  • “Alright, we’re all done for today. You can relax your arms now.”
  • “How many sessions left?” (this is because I started out saying, “one down, twenty to go”)

Taste

  • The delicious taste of ice-cold water from the dispenser after most of my treatments (I don’t drink anything before in case I need the loo while on the bed).
  • Some days I also bite into a sweet and tart Granny Smith apple as I walk out and to my car.

I used to have a shift dress in this exact colour a million years ago that paired with a jacket; I loved that outfit!

Touch

  • The feel of the cornstarch I dab in my armpits. I dab some fresh cornstarch just before treatment so I don’t smell.
  • The cotton of the pale-blue gown against my skin that I’m required to wear.
  • The feel of the radiotherapists’ hands taping the block with reflective markers to my chest, and moving both my torso and my arms into position. Andile is the therapist with the cold hands ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • The welcome cool temperature of the treatment room; it’s hot outside because it’s summer in Johannesburg.
  • The feel of my cap on my head as I walk back out into the hot Johannesburg sun.
  • The feel of the parking ticket and either coins if I have it, or a note, to pay for my parking.
  • The welcome cold of my car’s aircon blasting as I drive home.

 

I hope this was interesting. I might come back and edit the post if I remember other sensations.

Do you have any questions?

PS here’s another Five Senses portrait of Saturday morning Zumba.

There are just under two months left of 2024; is there a point in still going after your goals?

I’ve heard this sentence a lot lately: “I’m so ready for 2024 to be over. I don’t even care about goals or …….” and yes, I get you. I am also ready to move on with my life.

In the work world I hear the opposite. I call it the end-of-year-crazy and my one coaching client said the same thing to me a few weeks ago (so in our focus group of two across South Africa and Australia, we already know it’s not only us). Everyone wants to squeeze a year’s worth of work into two months. Madness.

I have a few thoughts though:

  1. Two months are quick but they are not nothing. Whether you do or don’t do something, those two months are going to pass. Might as well make them count. If you wanted to read more, look through your list and choose a few books you really want to read, and read them. (I already have a folder on my Kindle with some Christmas books).
  2. When you consider what you might still want to get done this year, don’t be a time optimist. Look at the calendar and factor in Christmas, school holidays and downtime at work for about two weeks. I just counted and even though there are six weeks, I guarantee that they will not be the six most productive weeks in the year – people are tired and might have their own things they want to finish off before they go on their annual leave.
  3. Factor in the time available for the activity. E.g. with kids off school early in December, you will have more time for family things but not necessarily more time for work stuff.

The Big Planning Questions

Which one or two-step projects were important to you in January and are still important now?

Examples are getting your driver’s licence renewed (this was me!), getting your mammogram or gynae visit done (and I dearly hope your results are clear) and maybe opening that high-interest savings account (also me).

Which goals/ aims do you need to release?

I had weekends away on my list which I released long, long ago, but this is the type of thing that is probably not going to happen if it is not planned, scheduled and paid for already. Multi-step home projects may fall into this category too.

What is still on your SHORT list that you can give one last boost to before the end of the year?

I had a lot of friendship things – some can still happen but some will be deleted, definitely for this year, maybe for ever ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

How to clean your iphone charger cable

As I wrote the title, I thought, “gosh, it feels like those Instagram ads for the cleanup apps”. Don’t worry; this is proper cleaning ๐Ÿ™‚

Maybe it’s just me but my white cables and cords get grubby very quickly. Not really surprising as they’re on desks both at home and at the office, and since I have to dust and clean those desks… often… it stands to reason that the cords also need cleaning.

I use this product but I imagine that any bathroom cleaner will work well.

Spray some product on a cleaning cloth – this one is nothing fancy.

Holding one end with your one hand, take the cable between the cloth in the other hand and drag it through the cloth a couple of times.

Like magic, your cables are white as snow again.

This is a less than 15-minute task and so darn satisfying when it’s done.

Which other 15-minute tasks are very satisfying for you? For me, that would be cleaning the bathroom mirror!

7 things we all have too many of

Sometimes we all need just a little push of motivation. That’s the point of this post; I personally need a little push when it’s so hot because all I want to do is lay on the couch and read.

 Use your gift wrap stash | www.organisingqueen.com

  1. Gift bags and gift wrap

I had two enormous bags filled with gift bags and I have decluttered it down to one. In that one small bag there are Christmas, birthday and a few general bags. I also gave some “little kid” gift bags to one of Kendra’s friend’s moms as they have two little ones so are probably going to make good use of them.

The way to think about this: how many gifts do I realistically give? how many do I then need?

2. Recyclable bags

It’s almost a joke amongst South Africans that every woman has at least ten Woolworths bags in her boot and keeps buying more. I am not in this target group but I do have 3 recyclable bags in my car (plus the Baggu bag that is always in my handbag) which I always take into the shops. Where I do fail is that I take one because I only need eggs or onions or whatever, and I end up with enough groceries for two big bags. I then use my bags, and the rest of the groceries lay loose in my trolley for packing into the remainder of my bags when I get to my car.

The way to think about this: take more bags into the store than you think you need, and definitely make a quality decision to not buy any more until they are all used up. Also, you can use the pretty ones as gift bags for large items (I used a pretty one as a gift bag for a blanket recently).

IMG_7523

3. Cables and chargers

We all have cables and chargers for things that we don’t own, not sure what they’re for or have too many of (I have six rechargeable light strips and each one came in its own box with a charging cable – I keep one upstairs and one downstairs, and the rest are in “storage”).

Do you have phones, tablets or laptops that don’t work? Take them to a computer place and ask them to dispose of them safely. Otherwise, label each charger and cable with washi or masking tape, so that you know what goes together. I have several cameras and each one has a colour – green, purple and pink. That means all its bits and bobs get that colour’s cable tie so I know at a glance which things to store with each camera (I store the smaller ones in pencil bags with all its cables – in the olden days, there was a cable to charge the camera and another to get photos from the camera to the laptop).

4. Promotional items

Notepads, pens, lanyards, etc. from seminars and conferences will multiply if you let them. I have a very good plan – we do use the notepads for notes to one another in the kitchen area (please iron on the inside out – for cleaning lady – or these rolls are for supper – for my teens), I take the pens to work where I hand them out and similarly for the lanyards.

The way to think about this: don’t even take them from the conference venue. I used to be good at this and I seem to have slipped, especially on the matter of lanyards. If you don’t take them, you don’t have to make a decision about them later.

Konmari |www.OrganisingQueen.com

5. Water bottles

I honestly don’t know how but the water bottles multiply in my home. I recently went through them and noticed that we’d bought some but they were still tagged and unused, so I moved them to the gifting area for teen gifts.

As for water bottles with company names on them that you don’t need, I did a really good declutter last year around the same time (summer in Jhb), filled them all with ice-cold water and carried one or two with me every day for a week and… while driving to the office, handed them to beggars at the traffic lights. I thought this was a great idea because cold water is always useful and they could use the bottles to ask for water at nearby houses.

The way to think about this: how much water does each person in your house drink? For example, I drink 2L so I need 3 x 500-ml bottles plus my gym bottle which is 750ml. I technically do not need more than these four. (Spoiler – I’m 100% sure I have more than 4) I also keep some at work. I’m still trying to convince Dion that he needs no more than two bottles ๐Ÿ˜‰

6. Candles

This is an area I really need to declutter. We went through a phase where we had tons of candles dotted around the house for loadshedding purposes, and then last year we got solar (hallelulah!) and now we never use candles, so I need to set aside just enough for “fancy table” purposes, keep a few tealights for the bathrooms and donate the rest.

The way to think about this: what is the highest number of candles you might ever use all at the same time? Keep that amount and declutter the rest.

 

7. Cleaning products

I am not even really bad at this and still I feel like I have too many. I used to keep a set in each bathroom but I think that is overkill – I’m sure one set upstairs and one downstairs will work just fine.

Secondly, many products can do double duty. For example, if you use a disinfectant toilet cleaner, that same product can be used on your ceramic tiled floors. I also use Zoflora for many purposes: nice-smelling drains, counter cleaner, shower spray, toilet spray, bathroom cleaner. The same goes for laundry –

The way to think about this: what is the least number of products I can use in my kitchen/ bathroom? Which products can do double duty?

Extra challenge: use up everything you own before buying more, and when you do buy, buy just one item.

I hope this has given you some quick ideas of where and how to start. Which one will you kick off first?

PS please notice I didn’t say books but that is an easy-peasy place to start because all of us have books we no longer want to read.

5 areas to practise completion vs consumption

We all already have many things in our lives and yet we keep wanting more, getting more, buying more.

I am talking to myself as much as I’m talking to you today. My areas of challenge are stationery and handbags. Thank goodness I do use my stationery and also Kendra considers my stash a “shop” from which to get gifts for her friends. Also, Yaga has been very useful for me to sell my handbags when I feel a hankering for something else.

Recently Emma Edwards (yes, the Broke Generation) said either on her podcast or in a reel that we’re in a society where you can’t even wear something without people asking, “link?” When did we become so consumption-focussed that we can’t just appreciate what someone is saying without wanting to buy the clothes she is wearing too.

For the record, I don’t mind when the very occasional person asks where I bought a particular thing, if I can remember. That’s not the point of this post.

The point is that all of us should complete the cycle we already started before consuming something else, as far as possible.

Here are 5 places to start:

books

  1. Books

Bookstagram has many cute memes about people buying and buying and buying books and never reading them. These are sometimes funny but to me it all feels like waste. Think about how many books you read a year or a month. If you have shelves and shelves of books, and you keep buying more, you’re not getting through your old books at all.

I just counted – I have 15 fiction and 5 non-fiction on my Kindle shelf, and about 10 books on my physical shelves. That amounts to three months of reading for me. I read from my physical and Kindle shelves every month, in addition to borrowing books from Libby and Everand. Also if the books keep coming too fast, I pause my Everand subscription like I did in June this year for 3 months.

Action: put a pause on buying for a season, or challenge yourself to read two books you own every month.

2. Food

My one aunt used to go to the shops and buy the same list of things every week regardless of whether they actually used up those items. Many of us do the same. I even had to write on our shopping list – NO MORE BREAD – for two weeks because our freezer was full of loaves.

We use up things in the freezer every 5 – 6 weeks and it does two things very well – we finishe all the forgotten food in the freezer and I get creative with what’s left. Some nights the kids will eat something and we’ll eat something else to use up “two portions of this” and “two portions of that”.

Action: stop buying pantry items like rice, pasta or cans and freezer items until you use them all up.

clothes

3. Clothes

I used to be really bad at this before I kept a list. There are things that I think each of us always thinks we need but we don’t. It could be smaller items like socks (for me!) or something like jeans or black t-shirts.

I now keep a note in my phone of actual items I need and when I’m in store and think “I’m sure I need more underwear”, I check my notes app and 99% of the time, that is not on my list. It helps that I’m strict with one in, one out, so I know that if I buy the two black t-shirts and I get home and have enough, I’ll have to get rid of two other t-shirts ๐Ÿ˜‰

Action: start a list in your phone “clothes I need to buy” and add to the list as you declutter your wardrobe. Be specific because it helps, like 3 pairs of cushioned sports socks, or 2 pairs of secret socks, so that you’re not confused in the store.

4. Digital downloads

Everyone puts out really cool things (I do too!) but if you’re not going to use it, don’t download it. Or download only what you need. I’ve spoken many times on Instagram about Audrey at Oh so lovely blog. Audrey puts out about 80 (80!) versions of a monthly calendar every year. While it’s tempting to download many versions, I know what I like for colour and style, and what I need – one for each of my work desks (home and office), one for my wardrobe and one for the kitchen, and so I download just the 4 – 5 (sometimes a spare if a child wants to get organised too) every year. Thanks Audrey.

The trick is to use what you download, and don’t just waste space on your digital devices.

Action: look through your downloads folder, keep what you use and delete the rest. It will free up your mind and your storage.

notebook

5. Anything else you already own but don’t use

You and I both have notebooks, bowls, candles, body lotions, soaps, etc. that we are not using. Why not?

This year I’ve had a beauty/ body/ bath project, Use up 24 in 2024, and I’ve used up 50 things already. It feels great. Just this morning I took out a new hand lotion for Breast Cancer Awareness Month and noticed I no longer have a stash of body and hand creams – yay. That cupboard was full of spare everything at the beginning of 2024 and now there is very little. I can’t wait to get back to how I used to live pre-pandemic with one item in use and sometimes one spare, but not more than that one in storage, except if I managed to get a 3 for 2 on my sulphate-free shampoo ๐Ÿ˜‰

Action: use your stuff, whether lovely body oils, lotions, lipsticks, etc. and also light the candles and use your nice bowls. If things don’t suit you, donate them or repurpose accordingly (e.g. shampoo can be used as handwash or in your toilet crock). Either way, challenge yourself to not buy more of something without finishing (or mostly finishing) a category of items.

Which one point immediately jumps out at you to practise completion in?

Tag me on Instagram.

20 15-minute small spaces to declutter and organise

I think with the diagnosis and all the medical appointments I’d forgotten that it is actually spring, a lovely time of year that I look forward to for a little kick-in-the-pants house action.

I’m a big fan of starting small to build momentum (you might resonate with some other reasons) so I put together 15 15-minute decluttering and organising tasks for us all to do. See how you go – do one a day and maybe on the weekends, you can do more an hour’s worth.

I like to set a timer and listen to a podcast or audiobook while tidying; and sometimes I also put on some 80s get up and go music.

Here we go:

  1. bedside table (honestly, I probably do 10 minutes on my bedside table every week)
  2. medicine cabinet (remember to bag up expired medicines and hand them in at your nearest pharmacy; don’t just chuck them down the toilet or in the bin)
  3. jewellery
  4. underwear
  5. socks

  1. winter pyjamas – winter has just ended so it’s a good time to see which items you avoided or that are too stretched/ old to hold onto
  2. handbag
  3. laptop bag
  4. make-up bag
  5. nail polish
  6. wallet
  7. desk and if you have desk drawers, you might need another 15 minutes here
  8. fridge (another area I do a 10-minute stint in every week)
  9. entrance way table or dining room table (the place where things get dumped by the whole family) In my house it has been both these tables, depending on the house
  10. car (and boot)

  1. cutlery drawer
  2. junk drawer
  3. pick one cupboard in your kitchen – plates, bowls, glasses, plastics, etc.
  4. water bottles
  5. foil/ bin bags/ baking paper/ plastic wrap

From the time I’ve allocated (15 minutes), you can see it’s not deep, agonising organising. It’s going with your gut instinct and answering 5 quick questions:

  • What sparks joy?
  • What doesn’t spark joy?
  • What’s old and no longer works well?
  • What have you not used?
  • What’s past its sell-by date (actual or in your life)?

I did my jewellery this weekend – cleaned everything (I use a dip), rinsed and air-dried, and then I rearranged and this is when you find things you forgot you owned, and so I’m wearing different earrings today.

Screenshot this post and save it in your photos. Then simply cross out the items until you’ve worked your way through the list – we still have just over two months left ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about relationships

This is part 4 of the Things I’ve learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Part 3 – social media

Part 4 – goals

  1. People first, then things. This applies for money, for time and for priorities. Some of our closest friendships happened because we always prioritise time with them even if it’s not the most convenient time. In the photo below, that was our anniversary but our friend was here in Jhb, unexpectedly for family stuff and we were thrilled that we got to spend time together.
  2. Always be kind. It feels like a trite thing to say but I see a lot of unkindness and it’s unnecessary 99% of the time. So much can be overcome by just being kind. I am personally undone by kindness and always will remember people fondly who showed me kindness.
  3. As far as possible, leave every interaction better than before you arrived.
  4. Smile. Most things in life can be improved by interacting with a person who smiles.
  5. Say hello and exchange a few words with cashiers, tellers, receptionists, people in the queue with you. These micro interactions are what life’s all about and might be the only time someone gets to talk to a fellow human being.

    1. Assume positive intent (I know I wrote this in the social media post too; yes, it is that important) and give people the benefit of the doubt.
    2. You don’t always have to be the one to stoke the fire of your relationships or be the only one reaching out; do your part anyway.
    3. Learn the 5 love languages, enneagram numbers and Tendencies of those closest to you, both family, friends and close work colleagues. This will help you to see things from others’ points of view and help you to improve your interactions.
    4. Choose true connection over superficiality. E.g. a 1:1 coffee date is always going to feed your soul more than light chit-chat with a group of friends.
    5. Forgive small grievances and be the low-maintenance friend.

Bonus – Sometimes friendships will break down or your friends will ghost you and you will not know why or if you did anything to cause it. This has happened to me before and another friend had to tell me, “sometimes you won’t ever find out the why”.

Tell me your relationship learnings, tips and tricks. What else can you add to my list?

Demerits and gold stars

Once I finish an audio book, I like to catch up on all the podcasts I’ve missed.

I finished The Connellys of County Down by Tracey Lange recently (excellent – 5*) and one of the podcasts I lneeded to catch up on is Gretchen Rubin’s Happier podcast.

Liz and Gretchen alternate at the end of every episode by giving themselves or others demerits and gold stars. They have shared before that this segment motivates both of them to do better (I agree!). If it doesn’t do the same for you, skip this piece.

I’m not sure if I’m motivated enough to do this every week but I thought I’d do so for the last week.

Gold stars

  1. I very rarely have to work at the office for 3 days at a stretch but this week I did, and I made it. Gold star to me. Double points is because two of those days had very, very long days, especially since I’m still recovering.
  2. Even though it was not on my list (!), I washed all the blankets in the lounge. We had two very hot days and it seems like a sin to not use the sun, so I did.
  3. I am listening to my body and going to bed early (for me) so that my healing can continue.
  4. For doing a piece of work four days early, and for preparing for something that is probably happening soon. Since I have no idea (yet) what my treatment plan looks like, I am not procrastinating on anything so that I am as up-to-date as I can be.
  5. I painstakingly answered and responded to a whole load of whatsapp messages yesterday and it feels good. I’m channelling Laura Tremaine and putting this piece of connection on my to-do list, and if I mess up, I’m just admitting it, apologising to the people and moving on.

Demerits

  • I decided to go and write this post at the gym in the lovely aircon while enjoying a smoothie/ tea (depending how cold it was inside) and… the Kauai was closed for renovations, so I had to leave. The last time I was at the gym was 17 August and I vaguely remembered that renovations were afoot but I guess I should have phoned to check first.
  • For impulsively responding to an email and upsetting someone at work. I have apologised but not sure it was accepted or received.
  • I also give myself a demerit for getting down on myself. Why is healing not linear? Why do I feel 9/10 some days and on other days I am back in that first week after the diagnosis? Paired with this is a tiny gold star – I recognised that I absolutely need to take my Evening Primrose Oil every single day to try and stabilise my hormones. It doesn’t work 100% of the time but there you go.

For the last week, or for September so far, what are your demerits and gold stars?

Milestone birthdays and unexpected happenings

I have a whole list of things to write about (which will ensure that I easily get to my write 24 in 24 goal this year) but this week, I’m pausing my usual blog content for a personal update.

Those on my newsletter list already received this news at the end of August; if you’re on the list, you can skip this and get 5 minutes of your life back. For the rest, I’m pasting the entire newsletter here.

How things change in a month!

The last time we spoke (end of July) I had had a “suspicious mammogram”, a biopsy and a fine needle aspiration. Don’t worry – you didn’t miss reading this; I didn’t say a thing.

However, it was only on Friday 2 August that the surgeon uttered those words to me: you have breast cancer. And following that, I was dispatched for bloods, an x-ray and a scan. Follow up appointments were made for a few days later and based on all those results, they would schedule a visit with the oncologist.

I started crying and shaking and this happened intermittently the entire week following that appointment.

Spoiler – my bloods did not indicate any cancer markers and both the chest x-rays and abdominal scans were clear. In case you are also new to all this lingo, they do this metastasic mark-up to see if the cancer has spread.

Even though I was feeling off emotionally for months and that was the reason I had nothing planned for my big birthday, I still decided to take the week off (a la Covid times) and have a staycation. Well. I am so, so glad I had that week off to cry, attend to the medical appointments and see surgeons, oncologists, etc.

What world is this where I even have an oncologist?! I actually only started to calm down about all of this (waves hands around) after that oncology appointment because the oncologist was kind, compassionate and explained everything so nicely, what each data point means and so on.

I then had a week of work and then had surgery on 20 August. The pre-surgery procedure was the worst thing ever and I think I have PTSD from it (my blood pressure was, for me, sky high at 150 – 155) as I still start tearing up every time I try to explain it or think about it.

I’m still recovering but I am cleared to go back to work from Tuesday 2 Sept although he was sure to tell me that full healing only happens 6 weeks from the surgery, so no exercise, no lifting heavy things, etc.

The results indicate no cancer in the lymph nodes and that there is no cancer in my right breast either. This was a “probably benign” situation before surgery but we wanted a definite result.

My oncologist has requested that the tissue samples be sent to the US for genetic testing (to see what the % of recurrence is) and now I wait for another three weeks for my nextย  oncology appointment to discuss the treatment plan.

August 2018

As for that milestone birthday…I thought that turning 50 would throw me for a loop but it turns out one is very happy to turn 50 when you’ve just received a cancer diagnosis.

While resting last week, I finally did my annual birthday review. Here’s a free printable if you want to do the same.ย The good news is that I wrote two columns of an A4 page on what went well over the last year and only 3/4 of a column on what didn’t go well. The didn’t go well column is still terrible but it’s smaller, right?

I have also made a list of things to do for this next year with everything (seriously, everything being held loosely) but my number 1 goal is to get through the cancer treatment. That’s it; everything else is just a cherry on top. The type of cancer is hormone receptor positive so I’m off my patch and hormone blockers will start sometime this year, I guess. What does this mean for me?

Well, I have started having little hot flashes at night which is going to be interesting as I already hate the heat. Pray for me!

 

The only action for this week’s blog is…

  • if you’re 40 or older, or you have a family history, do schedule your mammogram (I have no family history, felt no lumps and had a clean mammogram 10 months earlier than this one)
  • once you make your appointment, please comment and let me know that you’ve done so. I will be thrilled!

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about goals

This is part 4 of the Things I’ve learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Part 3 – social media

And now, for my favourite – the one about goals. I realised that I could write 50 things on goals and 50 things on time but let’s focus in on just 10.

  1. The principles always work if you work the principles. This sounds hella boring but it’s so true. Even when things are going down the tube (cancer diagnosis, etc.), I’ve realised that the principles still work.
  2. Write down your goals. This provides clarity, a sense of purpose and a reminder on what your goals actually are.
  3. Look at your goals regularly – daily (if you like – this is too frequent for me), weekly, monthly, quarterly, half-yearly – and monitor your progress. At this point, you’re also allowed to evaluate if that goal is still serving you.
  4. Once-off quick goals also serve their purpose for building momentum. E.g. organise your bedside table drawer. Suddenly you feel like you can tackle the whole bedroom’s 10 spaces.
  5. Know your why. If you don’t align your goals with your own values, you won’t want to work at them.

  1. It’s also good to have some projects to make progress on your regular habits (e.g. exercise twice a week, write every week, read a book every week)
  2. Focus on the journey, not on the outcome. James Clear talks very nicely about this piece in Atomic Habits; the gist is this: if you control the things you can do (building the regular writing habit), then you will have a book at the end of x years or y months. Saying I want to write a book is lovely but more unattainable than saying, I will write for an hour, five days a week.
  3. You will have obstacles. There is nothing wrong with you if you encounter stumbling blocks; this is all part of setting and achieving goals. Figure out how to go around/ over them.
  4. Figure out how to make your goals work for you by using your personality or your Tendency. E.g. An upholder likes a schedule. Something on the schedule will almost always get done (my Saturday morning gym routine that I never miss unless sick or out of the city) An obliger likes accountability – if the obliger meets a friend at the exercise class twice a week, she will probably always pitch up.
  5. Stop to celebrate your successes, even if small. This is where the monthly review is so valuable. It will provide motivation to keep on going.


Tell me your learnings about goals. What has worked for you; what doesn’t work for you that might work for others? Do you know your Tendency and how that has played into your goal-setting?



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