Why you must learn to say no

Success in life requires a short “Yes” list, and a long “No” list. – Gary Ryan Blair

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Whenever I coach time management clients, one of the first things I tell them is this:

You ALWAYS say no to at least one thing when you say yes to something else.

For example…

  • if you say yes to volunteering on 3 committees, you’re saying no to one or all of the following: your family, your self-care, your exercise time, your household…
  • if you say yes to that beautiful new pair of shoes you really can’t afford, you’re saying no to your debt-reduction plan!
  • if you say yes to having an absolutely spotless home all the time, chances are you’re saying no to fun times playing with your kids on the floor 🙂

No is such a small word but is often so hard to say.

Why should you say no?

1. it helps you set firm boundaries
2. it helps you honour your values
3. it makes you more productive
4. it reduces your stress
5. it frees you to serve where you’re called to with joy

This week, I’m challenging you to SLOW DOWN and think carefully before you say yes to anything.

In fact, when next someone asks you to do something or attend an event, why don’t you start by saying, “let me get back to you on that” so you can think clearly about the situation before committing yourself.

On a scale of one to ten, how easy is it for you to say no?

For me, I’d say about an 8 or 9, depending on who I’m talking to 🙂

P.S. Learning to say no is one of the key principles of effective time management. I need more time will help you if this is one of your frustrations.

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Comments

  1. Hi Marcia, this was timely for me. I struggle with having balance while dealing with chronic illness that has worsened the last few years. I want to do everything “well” and most days I end up only doing a few things, rarely as much I want. I never feel on top of things. It is hard to find that balance! I think for those who are healthy, it is a challenge of course, and yet for those of us who are not, it is a double challenge.

    • Marcia Francois says

      Lynda, I agree that it is a double challenge if you’re chronically ill.

      After the pregnancy I had really really bad joint pain for about 12 weeks – it was hell and yet I’m sure nothing like what you go through. I actually thought of you then.

      So I honestly can’t imagine!

  2. Hi Marcia, Saying “no” is never easy. I also stuggle with it daily. I’ve recently decided to make a list of the things that are most important to me and how much time I want to devote to these things…everything else that’s not an emergency is now getting a definite “no” from me. But I have to say that I often struggle with guilt…any suggestions for that?

    • Marcia Francois says

      Great idea to make a list.

      The guilt question is relatively easy in that … the more you say no, the easier it becomes and the less guilty you feel!

  3. Great ideas…needed to read this since I’m really struggling with this.
    Thanks,
    susan

    • Marcia Francois says

      Susan, thanks for telling me that – sometimes I don’t know if what I’m writing means anything to anybody out there (but me!)

      Let me know how you do

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