Before I get to this week’s topic, just a quick update about last week’s goals I set for myself:
I had decided to
- walk with my dog 15 minutes every night
- clean the dishes after each meal
- spend 15 minutes daily working on our paperwork so that I could get our finances back under control.
Well, it all went pretty well during the week and I’m really proud of the work I did.
On Friday, I couldn’t do any of those because I had a big event at work in the evening. On Saturday I got a bit lazy but I played catch up on Sunday and all in all it’s been a good week.
Everything went much more smoothly than usual, especially thanks to the clean dishes. There’s always one little thing that can make a tremendous difference in a home: make the bed, pick up the toys every night, get up 15 minutes before the rest of the family… I guess for me it’s cleaning the dishes, and I’m glad I found this “easy button” that makes the rest of the housekeeping easier!
Actually, my house was in such a good shape that I took pix for a home tour, that you can see on my blog here. I’d love to know what you think of my home sweet home! 😉
Okay, onto this week’s topic: boundaries.
For me, this applies mainly to work.
The professional environment is hard to handle because you HAVE to do some things that you don’t always enjoy, but at the same time, you must not abandon all pride and dignity for your job or you’ll go insane.
It’s hard to set limits and at the same time obey the orders that are given to you. In my job, I have two main boundary-related issues:
- inappropriate behaviours (aggressive, machist, mean), mostly from colleagues.
- not being recognized and respected, or at least not feeling like it, mostly from my bosses.
For the both problems, the solution is the same: I have to speak up in a good (=constructive) way. I must learn when to ignore bad behaviours (some people are hopeless, I must not waste my energy on them) and that telling things that I want or need simply is the best way to get them.
I already made a great step in the right direction a couple weeks ago: I asked my boss for a pay raise. Even though I was terribly scared (I was literally shaking from head to toe), I asked for an appointment and exposed my arguments.
I was calm and confident (or at least I looked like it! LOL). I haven’t gotten the raise yet, but I have good hopes that it will happen soon.
You know what sentence I repeatedly told myself to give me courage to speak up? “The worst that can happen is that he’d say no… it’s not a big deal!!!”
And it worked, I pushed my limits and even if it doesn’t work, at least I have no regrets because I have expressed what I want.
You know the sentence “It goes without saying”? I always reply “but it goes better WITH saying”, so speak up! 😉
Take care!
Chloe, I love this post but more importantly, I love that you took action and spoke up.
It’s so empowering when we start standing up for ourselves and I’m proud of you for doing so!
Empowering, that’s it, I really loved how “in control” I felt, and as I said, even if the results aren’t showing yet, I’m sure it’s on the good way. And it helped me feel better already, simply because my boss didn’t roll on the floor laughing at me when I said I was doing a good job and that I deserved a reward for that. LOL
Congratulations on asking for what you want at work. Your house is lovely. I really need to work more on paperwork myself too. I should do the same to attack a little every night.
Oh, paperwork… Even though I still have A LOT to deal with, 15 minutes a day is totally manageable, even when the total amount of work it represents is overwhelming, babysteps will take you anywhere!!
Wow Chloe! You asked for a pay rise? You are a brave lady. I’m generally quite good with the work boundaries but having said that, I do get drawn into the politics from time-to-time and then I have to step up and actually put my foot down. Mostly I am very kind about it but sometimes I have to behave like a gangster to get my point across…LOL.
I LOVE THIS: You know the sentence “It goes without saying”? I always reply “but it goes better WITH saying”, so speak up!
You’re right, Julia, sometimes being kind isn’t enough to protect you from negativity or bad behaviours and you have to learn to be tough (to some extend) to be heard. My issue used to be the opposite: I was very agressive very quickly, so I learned to bite my tongue and think twice before I speak. That’s why I was happy to be able to argument calmly about this pay raise: I didn’t put too much passion in it and found a good balance between being too good and being a PITA!