This week’s theme couldn’t have come at a better time for me.
I have a 5 day long music festival to organise for the very first time (needless to say we’re starting from scratch!) at work for the end of June.
As if this wasn’t enough, I also had a FET (frozen embryo transfer) planned at the beginning of July. My body started to act weird and this weekend I was sure I would never be able to get the FET done this summer and that I would have to wait until September. Knowing that, you’ll understand why I got a terrible score at the stress test included in this week’s lesson when I filled it in on Sunday night: I got 22 signs of stress, which means that I am 20% effective. Only!
Luckily, my FET issues got solved on Monday and I might have less stress signs if I’d redo the test today. But this didn’t solve everything, by far!
Here are the main stressors I’ve identified, and the solutions I’d like to apply:
AT HOME:
- Infertility: not knowing what will happen, not controlling things. Solution: maybe see a therapist to help me deal with the emotional side of this process. I can’t control the situation but I can control my attitude towards it!
- Being overweight (well… obese, to be honest!): I feel bad about myself, guilty, always tired. Solution: sleep (it’s a big factor in weight loss, even if often underestimated), eat more good food (eating less of the bad ones doesn’t work with me) and exercise some. That last one might not be done right now considering my crazy schedule, but it’s on the list nonetheless!
- Feeling that I do a lot of chores compared to DBF (even if it’s not completely true). Solution: express this feeling (he can’t read my mind!) and simply ask him to help me.
- Money worries. Solution: live frugally by cutting the last few extras, create and follow a budget.
- Guilt for not doing enough, perfectionism. Solution: admit that I can’t do it all, give up on some things/activities, declutter my (self-imposed) obligations.
AT WORK:
- Too much work. Solution: delegate, wait before saying yes and make sure that I can do something properly and without stress before accepting it.
- One of my bosses’ interruptions and sense of urgency. Solution: plan for interruptions and make “real work” on other times of the day, when I know she won’t be around.
- Not feeling recognised and respected. Solution: take my distances, this is “just” a job!
Okay, I know some of those solutions are easier said than done, but listing the things I want to work on is the first step.
I will start taking action on the items that I can manage in this crazy time without adding too much extra stress to my life.
For example, finding the time to exercise wouldn’t be easy and would do more harm than good. But getting to bed earlier to get more zzzzz in is totally doable and would help tremendously. It’s a cost/benefit balance that I need to find!
Do you have any ideas that would help me defeat my stressors? Please share! And take care!!
Marcia here – I’ve answered Chloe in the comments. Join your voice to mine.
Absolutely fantastic post, Chloe! You are being such an awesome guest blogger because you’re open and willing to share honestly.
First of all, I really don’t think you need to panic at your low score on the test. It’s simply to indicate that there might be a problem so you don’t burn out.
Now that you know you can make some changes, as you are already doing.
I love how you’ve listed the areas where you can take action – sleep for one! Sleep is a huge, huge component of both weight loss and stress management.
And yes, talking to a counsellor will definitely help. If you want to, I’m up for a Skype chat too! Let me know š
Awww, thanks Marcia! As I said, right now I can only take the “short term with immediate results” actions, like getting more rest, but once the crazy coming month is over, I’ll definitely get the long term actions going, like getting counselling about infertility issues. Already listing all those domains where I can do something, be active and fight that overwhelmed feeling is a great step. I feel much more confident, thanks to the immediate changes I can make. After all, I have some control over some parts of my life! š
I love that you have made this list and that you have identified your stressors. I think that this is the first step.
I find that MOST of my stress is eliminated if I PLAN my life properly. I plan every little thing at home from meals to chores to homework. I make lists for EVERYTHING and then I tick off stuff on my list as I get them done. Makes me feel more in control. Same applies to work. If I don’t plan my day properly then I wander aimlessly from task to task and it is easier for people to saddle me with work that isn’t actually mine to do.
I notice that you don’t really take any time out. I would try to incorporate this. Just start with 15 minutes every day to just BE STILL. I learned a lot of really cool breathing exercises in yoga (if you are not familiar with this, just google) and if I don’t spend at least 15 minutes everyday being still and doing some breathing exercises then my days become MANIC and the wheels fall off. These exercises help me to relax and rejuvenate a bit and they also help me to clear the mind and find my focus once again. And you know what? I even have to plan to fit in my breathing exercises. Otherwise they won’t happen. Good Luck.x
Planning is definitely key and of course, then executing š
Oh definitely. You have got to do stuff in order to be able to tick stuff off your list. I LOVE the feeling of control that comes with that.
Julia, I love crossing things off lists too, and especially the control feeling it gives me! And some breathing / relaxation exercises are definitely on my things-to-try-sooner-or-later-but-preferably-sooner list, right behind getting more sleep!