{Live intentionally} Why I date my kids

At one point many years ago (isn’t that funny? I say that and yet the kids are only 5 and a half!), Dion and I decided that it would be a good idea for each of us to spend 1:1 time with each of the twins.

To be honest, in the early days it was just more practical to divide and conquer errands, but a lovely by-product was that each twin was much better behaved when they were with just one parent than when we were all together as a family.

(this is still true today)

Why I date my kids | www.OrganisingQueen.com

Then I attended a love languages workshop, LOVED the concepts, and put them into practice with both kids.

The results have been so amazing I went to get myself certified 🙂

I’m holding two love languages workshops this month – one on Thursday 19th from 7 – 9, and one on Saturday 28th from 2 – 4 pm, and you are invited to attend.

There are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, and physical affection.

Read more here and sign up if you’re interested.

Do you know your top two love languages, and those of your spouse and kids?

Why I date my kids | www.OrganisingQueen.com

The one-on-one dates enable me to engage with my kids in the ways they need me to show them love.

They’re different (obviously) as your kids are different so they need to be shown love in different ways.

How this plays out for us:

  • I put these two habits on my goals list every month: date with Kendra, and date with Connor
  • That step ensures I get them done.
  • Sometimes we have definite things we want to do, sometimes they say “Mummy, next time we have a date, can we do ____?” but mostly I discuss it with each of them.
  • We decide on a date for the date 🙂 and we make it happen

Interestingly, sometimes we might go to the same place for our date but I engage with each child differently depending on their love languages. It’s such a part of life for us now that it’s completely automatic.

If you’re not currently spending 1:1 time with your kids, I know you might be pushing back (some people would say I don’t have enough time), but just give it a try.

Some tips to date your kids:

  1. adjust your mindset of quantity vs quality – yes, it will take longer to “get things done” but you and your child will both enjoy connecting so much more
  2. you don’t have to spend any money – my kids like to craft, bake or cook with me
  3. ask your kids for their ideas – one of mine often suggests a walk around the neighbourhood
  4. use events like Easter/ Christmas/ Valentine’s to do themed dates – another of my children always suggests that we make pancakes for any special event 🙂
  5. if you have to shop for some clothes for that child, make it into a date by tagging a cup of tea/ milkshake/ juice onto the end of it

Do you date your kids?

What are your love languages?

Can you guess what mine are? I’ll post them in the comments 🙂

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Comments

  1. Marcia Francois says:

    My love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation

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