If I speak to a group of 10 women, I can guarantee that the majority feels like they don’t have enough time for themselves.
We all have many roles in life. I’d guess that if you’re reading this post, you probably fulfill 5 to 7 of these roles: a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, sister, friend, business owner, employee or employer.
What then happens is that you tend to the more urgent roles and your personal time is usually the last thing on the list.
As a result, you start feeling resentful but also you may soon burn out.
That’s the point when people usually contact me.
This is great because I love working with people who are ready to take action and make changes in their lives.
Do you just accept this as your lot in life while you have young kids in the house or what do you do?
- Decide that you are also important
I never ever believe that we need to sacrifice the parts of us that make us feel most alive.
This is a mindshift change from mothers being the martyrs so take your time and work on this mental adjustment.
We can only input into others when we are replenished. I read a great parenting book, Parenting without Power Struggles, and in the book, she says we have to be calm before we can correct or parent our kids. I can tell you that a mother who has not had any time for herself is not going to be calm.
- Identify soul and self-care activities
Self-care activities are activities like a manicure, pedicure, hair appointment or massage.
Soul-care activities are those that feed your soul like sewing, mosaics, scrapbooking, painting and decorating. Still others are time, either by yourself to recharge (often the introverts) or with a couple of close girl friends to connect with yourself again (often for introverts).
Soul care is deeper and more nurturing than self-care, but both are good.
- Choose the minimum response that will make you feel like your needs are prioritised
In my work I talk about always knowing your minimum effective responses.
When my twins were newborns, life was crazy. I felt like I had no time to do anything for myself as I was running around washing bottles, making bottles, feeding, burping, bathing, changing, getting the baby to sleep, and then the other one would wake!
During those crazy times, I was happy if I could have just 5 minutes to sit, drink a hot cup of tea in peace and eat breakfast. Seriously, my expectations were just that low.
That was my minimum effective response.
Now, I expect to have hours every day to “do my thing” and I have that time because I’ve set things up that way.
But I started very, very small.
What is the minimum effective response for you to feel like you’re prioritising your needs?
Now that you have those questions sorted out, start creating the time for yourself.
[…] And then there are always rewards of the soul variety. […]