{2019 review} What I want more of in 2020

Travel

I definitely want more overseas travel (anything from 0 this year is a good thing!). I haven’t been overseas since 2012 which is a lot of time for a passport to lay idle. I’d be happy if we get this sorted. What I really want is someone to know the inside of my mind, plan everything at the best price and most convenience, and just tell me to EFT money to book tickets ๐Ÿ™‚

More time with D

This year we tried to go on a weekend away. Our only babysitter who is willing to do more than one night, my mother, then had a little operation on her hand, so couldn’t do it. Oh well, we’ll try again next year. In addition, I’m adding D to my regular dates schedule, the same as I do with my friend dates, so that we can have a more regular dating schedule.

It might be a good time to set up regular dates with my kids too. This year has felt quite haphazard, which is not really my style.

More walks

I think I need to make a rule for myself and put it in my diary like I do with everything else. Every couple of days, get home, put on my takkies and gym pants, and go for a walk with the kids.

Creative work

I want to create an online course or new workshop, or revamp two existing courses. I do have my Help! I need more time course, which I do still love. It is good content and has helped many people so I should look at that one, and then I’m thinking about doing something around vision boards and goals. We’ll see. If you have some ideas, do let me know.

Fun

I actually want to set aside some money every month for fun. Not to buy things and bring more stuff into my house, but to be generous, and spend on people and experiences, and finally set up a reading prize at the kids’ school.

Coaching

I coached three lovely ladies this year and I’m ready to open up my coaching calendar for about 4 – 6 more hours a month. I really would love to do more Four Tendencies coaching or incorporate it into my current coaching practice. If this sounds like it might be a fit for you, let me know.

What do you want more of next year?

A 2020 list with a difference – a lot more fun

Before we start, I have two questions for you:

This year I’m doing two lists – a standard list with normal (to me) goals and a fun list too, because I realise that I’m very serious and if I don’t intentionally plan for fun, it won’t just happen. I was especially inspired by my friend, Julia, who had a 19 in 2019 list full of super fun things.

I know this sounds crazy to the non-upholders but remember, discipline is an upholder’s freedom.

Onto the list…

  1. Have a lime milkshake
  2. Go for Milky Lane waffles (I have not had either of these two for more than 10 years) with all the syrups!
  3. Have a tea party for my friends (I’m not having a birthday lunch this year)
  4. Take Connor out for a supper date
  5. Take Kendra out for a supper date
  6. Make 3-ingredient scones with Kendra
  7. Pay for someone else’s groceries
  8. Volunteer to take someone’s photos
  9. Take a holiday outside South Africa
  10. Take the red city bus tour
  11. Teach a workshop using photography as a coaching tool (that sounds very boring but it would be super fun!) and then host a photo walk
  12. Go watch a fun, girly movie completely by myself
  13. Go play with my big camera on a walk once a month
  14. Go see a concert with Dion
  15. Time away with D
  16. Run a Four Tendencies workshop, for children
  17. Buy a dishwasher
  18. Go to Simply Asia with Angie
  19. Organise Dion’s desk (let’s be honest; this is going to be the MOST fun of all)
  20. Get a carpenter to do a cupboard/ shelf for the tumble dryer

Are you inspired yet? I know people who have made lists of places to eat in their city, other people have made lists of books to read or movies to watch, still others have made lists of friend dates. All of these are excellent ideas, or you can go the old-fashioned way of normal goals. I’ve done the best of both with two lists ๐Ÿ™‚

What will you do? Care to share a couple of your goals with me?

PS I have done some fabulous start-of-year coaching sessions to help people strategise and set goals for the year. Contact me if you’d like to book a once-off 45-minute session for $50, or you can book a coaching package that suits your needs.

A quick recap of my 2019 word, and my word of the year for 2020

My word for 2019 was bold and it was a fantastic word for me. It guided me, stretched me, pushed me out of my comfort zones and , forced me to have courage to do uncomfortable things. Here’s why I chose the word, bold.

I wrote about how I was experiencing the word here and here. It really was a great word for me and contributed to a really good year.

This word, bold, was also the reason that I wanted to feel more ease, flow, freedom this year.

I had not an inkling of my 2020 word by mid-December (this post was scheduled but it had no content inside!) so I prayed in church and I started feeling the word free. I then thought my word was going to be free but I realised that that’s the feeling I want, but the word was actually light.

In 2020, I want to feel light

  • physically – I need to lose 12 kgs
  • mentally – I want to let go of things quicker and not hold tight so long
  • emotionally – I want to lighten up with some things

I also want to look for the light more, in other words, get out my big camera and go make beautiful pictures. Honestly, I’ve gotten lazy and yet, it’s something that brings me such joy and delight.

light

I want to make light, contribute freely and lighten other people’s burdens.

I want to continue to bring light (clarity) through my workshops, coaching, and speaking, and illuminate things that may be hidden. I don’t want to hide my light to try and play a smaller game because I do know my worth.

I’m definitely always trying to live lighter and since I want to travel a lot this year, this is also a good reminder to travel light (physically) and emotionally (without baggage) through this world.

Hopefully this is a year of more fun and lightheartedness ๐Ÿ™‚

What was your 2019 word, and how did it work for you? What is your word for 2020? If you’re unclear about the word you want, I recorded some stories that will help you.

{planning} introducing my 2020 diary

2020 diary

Compared to 2018’s back and forth on the subject of my 2019 diary, I am so pleased that this year there was none of that nonsense.

You can read about my 2019 diary here. Interestingly, it’s the most popular post in November 2018 of the 6 months since May 2018! And here are pictures of my 2019 diary in action on Instagram.

I saw all the diaries in my local bookshop, noticed a few that I liked but one stood out – this one. I thought about it for a few days and then went back to get it.

2020 diary

Things I love in a diary are:

  • goals page at the front, and one for each month
  • monthly events calendar at a glance
  • weekly format
  • not too big to carry around

This diary had all of these features and the best is that I’ve already played around with the same format in 2018, so I know it works for me.

I also like how it zips up so I can carry a thin bullet journal with me and zip the whole lot up so that it stays contained in my handbag.

2020 diary

For those who are new to me, I love a weekly planner because my brain thinks in weeks and no matter how pretty the daily planners are, I’d never use them as well as I use a weekly planner.

I also like that this diary has a prayer list if you’re so inclined (you can use it for your weekly intentions, which is almost the same thing!), your priorities for the week and the notes for the week section which I use for some of my weekend to-dos.

Perhaps this will be the year I’ll be able to restrict all my weekend to-dos to that one little section? ๐Ÿ™‚

2020 diary

I prepared my diary by adding dates, school terms, public holidays, etc. and I started my to-dos yesterday too.

Do you use a diary? Which one are you using this year?

Here’s a useful post to help you make decisions if you haven’t decided yet.

{planning} 3 things to do to prepare for 2020

1. Review 2019

Take your bullet journal or any piece of paper. Write these headings:

What went well?
What could have been better?
What have I learned?
What do I want to let go of as I move into 2020?

2. Anticipate 2020

What do you want more of in 2020?
How do you want to feel?
What do you want less of?
What do you want to learn? (I hope more about your tendency :))

3. Make a 20 in 2020 list

Here are a few ideas. Use one, some or none ๐Ÿ™‚

1. Choose a few things you can get done fairly quickly (I had “buy a new watch” on my list this year; what about trying a new restaurant?)
2. Choose a few fun things just for you (I’m putting a course, Discern and Decide, on my list, as well as listening to the audio version of a favourite novel from 2018)
3. Choose a few things you can do with other people (go see a movie with the book club, go on a holiday, go hike a specific trail, etc.)
4. Choose a few necessary things (get rid of excess furniture, declutter your clothes, declutter excess kitchen stuff, etc.)
5. Choose a few stretch things (do a two-week eating reset, apply for a new job, finish a photobook)

Tip – if you have a good mix, it will feel satisfying when you get them done.ย If you’re on Instagram, click the hashtagย #19in2019 to see what other people did this year, and to get ideas for next year.


Bonus – useย theย printables on my website

Let’s Do This 2020 – to close off 2019 and set some intentions for 2020. It’s free and the shortest quickest printable I’ve seen around. I know that some of these 20-page printables, while beautiful and useful, can seem like just one more enormous thing on your to-do list.

20in2020 list – this year, I designed a list specifically for each Tendency. Yes, there’s one for upholders, obligers, questioners and rebels. I would love you to download them, try them out and let me know how they work (or don’t!) for you. And then, post them to Instagram or Facebook and tag me – I’d love to see your lists and get some ideas.

Hope you found these tips useful to prepare for 2020!
Have you downloaded the free 20in2020 list yet?

Merry Christmas from my family to yours

In case anybody’s having a quick look online before the day starts, I want to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas.

Thank you for reading, thank you for being there and thank you for commenting.

And most of all, stay off social media today – you’re only going to see the highlight reels and your own Christmas will feel “less than” when it is perfectly good enough, just as is.

Lots of love

Marcia

{2019 review} What didn’t go well in 2019?

As important as it is to celebrate the wins of the year, it’s also important to look at things that didn’t go well so that you can either fix them going forward or go in a completely different direction.

So, what didn’t go well for me in 2019?

Weight and weight loss

I’m aware from my Oprah-watching days that even if nothing changes in terms of eating and exercise, we will put on 5 kg every decade because our metabolism slows down steadily as we age. I haven’t put on 5 kg this year but probably 2 kg, and these have been a very uncomfortable 2 kg. Before you get very confused, I’m a full 12 kg overweight but I’d be over-the-moon happy with losing 4 kg, and then another 5kg.

I’m currently trying to get into a regular habit of “eating for only 12 hours” and want to then move to 11 hours and hopefully rest with eating only within a 10-hour window. I heard a scientist on Dr Chatterjee’s podcast who made a lot of sense, so we’ll see.

Headaches

It might be the case for recency but it feels like I had more headaches from the heat this year. It is just not at all fun once it sets in, so I completely live inside my cold house for any temperatures of 28 C and above. I’m like a reverse cat, looking for cool places in my house to work.

Walks

I’m not even sure I went on 30 walks. For the last 4 years I’ve done 52 – 60 walks a year. There are a couple of reasons why: this has been an incredibly hot year and even thinking about getting outside makes me tense. I manage my 9am Zumba class by getting out, keeping well hydrated and getting straight back if the day is very hot, but anything in addition to that just feels like asking for (headache) trouble.

Photos

In 2019, we moved to a monthly family photo instead of weekly photos of the kids and occasionally of all of us. This was at Dion’s and Connor’s request and yes, there has been less moaning but it has honestly been quite soul-destroying seeing only iphone photos and very little photos of the kids, especially after we’d developed such good habits. Also, there has been a correlation in that because I’m no longer picking up the big camera on a weekly basis, I’m no longer picking up the big camera at all. I have already put a new goal on my list for next year – to schedule at least one photowalk a month with the big camera.

Care to share? What didn’t go well for you this year?

{organising} My house to-do list: an update

This year, as part of my 19 in 2019 goals, I put a fair number of things on my house to-do list.

Sadly, they were all a bit boring but they were necessary to my peace of mind:

  1. Get rid of all excess furniture (still not completely done – I have a table and chairs in the pool room to sell but I have had no takers yet on Facebook!)

2. Replace carpets upstairs and on stairs (two large spaces)

3. Damp proof the roof

4. Get blinds for the poolroom

As is often the case with house things, other things popped up. One morning after a really terrible storm (Johannesburg had many of these during the rainy season this year), we noticed that many of our wooden windows were leaking, so this item had to replace the carpets which would be nice but was an item on my list purely for cosmetic reasons. With our recent rains, my windows are leaking again and of course, the contractor is not answering my messages and I am tired, so tired of fighting with people to do their jobs properly. Please let me know if you have a good wooden windows person!

However, I was pleasantly surprised that the roof, while an enormous job, was not at all a painful task to endure as it was done in about 3 days and the contractor we used was AMAZING!

The blinds are also done and look great… so we’re inching closer to my vision for the space.

Now I just have to sell the excess furniture. Anyone looking to buy a table and chairs in good, second hand condition? ๐Ÿ™‚

(on the bright side, I looked over last year’s post and eureka! I found my reading chair for the pyjama lounge during the Black Friday sales)

I think the lessons I learnt from these four items on my house to-do list are…

  • allow some money for the expected, but unexpected expenses, of which I should know better because there is always something
  • put fun things on the list too
  • finish one space first so that there’s a sense of completion (I intend to do this next year with the pool room) and you can enjoy the space

Do you allocate a certain number of things to do in your house every year? Do you wing it? Do you play it by ear? How do you approach house maintenance?

{2019 review} The Four Tendencies workshops: the good, the bad, and the ugly

If you’ve been following me for a hot minute, you’ll know I’m obsessed by personality frameworks, in particular, The Four Tendencies.

After the book came out, I mentioned to my accountability partner, Beth, that if Gretchen ever offered workshop facilitation, I’d have to do it because I love the content so much.

Well, she offered workshop facilitation late last year and after dithering for a bit (would people want to come to workshops? would I be able to train enough people to recoup the costs?), I bit the bullet shortly after the new year when I remembered that my word for 2019 is BOLD.

And that’s when the fun started.

The good

I loved every single minute of teaching the material, interacting with my workshop participants and running the workshops. The a-ha moments, sharing the content, but most of all, the stuff you can’t really prepare for – the participants’ questions in the sessions and figuring out the answers; why a particular strategy works for A but not for B, how parents could do X differently with Y kind of child to ease their relationships, etc. I found that the Tendencies gives couples, sisters, and friends the language to explain things. It is the actual best!

I also had the privilege of running two corporate workshops (book me if you want me to do a half-day teambuilding event with a difference) which were truly fantastic. The teams were both so open and vulnerable and we all learnt a lot from each other.

As I am a systems person, I quickly honed my processes – I made lists in Excel of what needs to happen before a workshop, I know which food to buy and order, email the lady to print my handouts a week before and all the preparation is very streamlined.

A friend told me a few months ago that workshops are my sweet spot. It’s true – I get to play with stationery, faff in my house, interact with people, and train people on material that I love. Heaven!

The bad and the ugly

There is no bad or ugly but the parts I find most difficult are still the marketing and promotion pieces.

Each workshop got easier because I had so many more people who had gone through the material and experienced greater understanding and insights which, in turn, increased my confidence and credibility.

This was one of the easiest workshops to run – they booked me, and then I’d just see money popping up every couple of days in my bank account. I pitched, ran the thing and left ๐Ÿ™‚

My word of the year was perfect for me because when I didn’t feel like promoting the workshops, I’d remember that my word was bold and put up one more Instagram post, and ask one more person.

I’ve always felt that as long as I have done everything possible, I don’t mind the outcome. So I felt absolute peace even about my smallest workshop – the one in Cape Town with 3 people – as I literally asked and told everyone I knew in Cape Town ๐Ÿ™‚ And that workshop was fabulous – great participants, insights for all of us and more friends for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Cape Town workshop

I also prayed at the start of the year – I think between workshop 1 and 2 – that the groups would consist of exactly who was supposed to be there, and they really have been that. We’ve had fantastic groups of people but I still feel very fond of the very first group who put their faith in me – thank you Teresa, Fatima, Cindy, Phetsile and Luisa!

In closing

I can’t wait to continue to offer these workshops next year. I’ve already scheduled the first one for Saturday, 8 February 2020, and I can’t wait to welcome you to my home if you know you want to be there. This is a really fun thing to put on your #20in2020 list. Book your place here.

One of my #20in2020 goals is to either run a Four Tendencies workshop or do a Four Tendencies talk for children! If you want your child to attend, please let me know.

Some interesting stats

  • Married couples: 2 pairs
  • Parent and child: 2 pairs
  • Friends: many, many, many
  • Sisters: 3 pairs
  • 1 supper club
  • 2 corporates
  • 8 workshops in total
Four Tendencies stats

Tell me all your questions. If I was reading this, I’d have plenty ๐Ÿ™‚ Do you have any questions for me?

{time} 5 parts to a good evening routine

I have mentioned a time or two before that I’m no good in the morning because I’m a night owl.

This is exactly why I’ve set up my environment for success by doing everything I possibly can to prepare for my day the night before. Here are the building blocks of my evening routine:

lunch

Pack lunch

I typically pack mine and the kids’ lunches ( I don’t always pack theirs) while I’m preparing another meal. The kitchen is already untidy with various foods out so I might as well use the time so that there’s only one clean-up session instead of two.

Choose clothes

Years ago I realized that if I chose my clothes in the morning, I took much longer than if I simply chose and set them out at night.

If I do this, I can still change my mind if I really don’t feel like wearing whatever I set out, but at least I have some idea of where to start.

choose clothes

Set out all my bags and things that need to go to work with me.

Part of being prepared for the next day is to have all my things ready to go.

I have my handbag and laptop bag ready, together with any errand bags, in case I need to drop books off at the library, do a return at the shops, etc.

Family connection time

On the nights I have a 6pm exercise class, I try to spend time with the kids before I leave, otherwise I might only see them right at the end of their supper as they’re preparing for bed.

Other than those nights, we have supper together as a family every evening and then I clean the kitchen while Dion starts the bedtime routine (teeth, Bible, other reading).

I want to throw out a word of caution here – look at the time you spend with your kids throughout the week, not just that day, otherwise you’re likely to feel demotivated if you have a busy couple of evenings. I had someone in my workshops recently who said she couldn’t exercise after work because then she’d never see her kids. We explored it a bit and she realised that she spent plenty of time with them in the mornings and most evenings too. Bedtime is not the only connection time you have.

reading

Time for me

I have a mostly daily rhythm which I try to adhere to, because it serves me so well. I exercise two nights a week, do photos some nights, read for extended periods some nights, and do some side hustle work (coaching, workshop prep, blogging) some nights too.

There are also some nights when I update my budget or catch up with life admin, almost like a power hour. It evens out generally but it becomes very clear really quickly when I need some time to catch up with life because my wallet will be bulging with receipts, or my desk has too much stuff on it, etc. I try to pay close attention to the visible signs that I need some “house admin” time.

If you’re a night owl too, what forms part of your evening routines and rhythms?

PS here’s where you can catch up reading about my morning routine.

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