13 January 2025 by Marcia Francois Leave a Comment

My 2025 word of the year – grace

Every year I usually trust the process and it works. My word will come to me in whichever way.

One year (2014 going into 2015) I thought my word would be tend and once I’d gone through the process, it ended up being enough.

This year (2024) I was listening to Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift and on one of the days, she read two sentences within about 5 minutes that jumped out and grabbed me. The word “grace” was core in both of them and I thought, “ah, that’s what I want for next year”.

I then started seeing this word as applied to enneagram 1s on many of the enneagram teachers I follow (I also follow the hashtag #enneagram1 on instagram) and there was a lot of “give yourself grace” and so on.

So I was 96% sure my word was grace but remembering tend/ enough from ten years ago, I decided to go through the process and work through Susannah Conway’s Find your word challenge.

It was lovely and affirming and confirmed that my word was grace, but also that as supporting words, I have kindness, gentleness, ease and compassion.

So why grace?

what do I need more of?
what do I need less of?

I answered the first question immediately with grace and the second with pressure.

As an enneagram 1, I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things the right way and do the right things. If anything goes wrong and it does… a lot… the first question I ask is “what did I do wrong? why did I not see this coming?” and so on. Much, much more but let’s just say my inner critic is alive and shrieking at me all the time (plus real people in my life too).

An incident happened last year and I was blamed for something which objectively is absolutely my responsibility. When I shared this with a friend, she reminded me of the fact that I was undergoing radiation therapy during this time and could not possibly be expected to have it all 100% under control.

Here’s the thing – until she said that to me, I forgot that I was going through treatment and only saw the things I did wrong. It was a wake-up call because I would absolutely have seen this in others and shown them grace and compassion, but I didn’t extend the same behaviour to me. Isn’t that wild?!

I can give many more examples but they are all along this theme. The kids do something and I say to Dion, “I am failing as a parent” or during the cancer experience, friends behave in a way that is often not very much how a friend should behave, and I say “everyone’s got their own stuff going on”, showing everyone else grace but still beating myself up about not being 100% there for others when I am the one going through cancer treatment.

I think you can see why I need this word grace this year.

And last but not least, God has shown and will continue to show me grace. There are so many scriptures to prove this but here is the one I like most.

What is your word for 2025? And why?

Filed Under: Goals, Intentional living, Mindset, Word of the year Tagged With: grace word of the year, word of the year

8 January 2025 by Marcia Francois 1 Comment

{goals} Reflect on my 2024 word of the year – whole

I just read my 2023/ 2024 post which details why I chose the word tend for 2023 and whole for 2024.

Read it here.

I chose the word whole because I felt broken after 2023’s craziness. Work pressures, leadership pressures, parenting pressures and loneliness.

And then I felt like things started off well in 2024, certainly in areas other than my body but to such an extent that I considered changing my word at the end of June. I thought I’d get some thinking done on holiday to decide if I wanted a new word.

Then I came back from holidays and went straight into the suspicious mammogram and all that happened afterwards.

Of course, then, from 12 July I was plunged into the vortex of medical appointment after medical appointment, treatments and so on.

I then realised that perhaps the word whole meant my body was being restored physically. I have also never cried as much as I did last year; I said to a work friend yesterday that I am now that person who cries everywhere and in front of everyone (in waiting rooms, at the oncology rooms, at the surgeon’s office, at the hospital, in front of people, etc.) – everywhere. Maybe that was also part of becoming whole emotionally? Or am I stretching here?

I still feel somewhat broken in certain parts of my life – is this just how it goes as one ages? is life really this hard? I don’t know. That much is clear – I have no idea and cannot control a single thing.

In summary, 2024 was not the most fun I ever had in my life (or with a word) but it will be my reminder that I had to focus on my physical body in 2024. Ironically, because of all this “single area” focus, I still have a lot of things on my medical to-do list to sort out, only one of which I have attended to (my new glasses).

How did your 2024 word work out for you?

Did it guide you with decisions? Did it focus your thoughts and feelings?

Filed Under: Goals, Intentional living, Personal, Word of the year Tagged With: annual review, goals, word of the year

23 December 2024 by Marcia Francois 1 Comment

{goals} 2024 reflection – what went well?

Friends, I have 10 questions I’m using this year to do my reflection exercise.

I’ve already done a work reflection (on my last work day of 2024 – Friday) and it was good to work through 5 pages of questions and prompts as I considered what worked and what didn’t this year.

I won’t get to work through all 10 of the questions here on the blog but I most certainly will do so in my bullet journal. What I do want to do is work through 4 questions – reflect on my 24 in 2024 list (done), what worked, what energised and delighted me, and reflect on my 2024 word of the year (whole). That will take us into the first week of 2025.

So for today, what worked this year, or what went well?

Having my 24 in 2024 list. Here is the update post.
I bought a car that I love. I paid for it in cash (thank you, past self, for saving) and every day when I had to travel to all my medical appointments, I was SO GLAD that my car was reliable and had amazing aircon.

Exercise – I exercised three times a week most weeks of this year. I obviously could not exercise for 6 weeks while recovering from surgery but I had a good year of exercise. Twice a week Zumba and weekly Spanish. Of note, I tried a stretch class and a pilates class and…. they are not for me.
Listening and obeying God with regards to the mammogram. I wrote end of last year/ beginning of this year while in Clarens that I wanted to get better at listening and obeying. It’s not always a very conscious thing, but it is heeding the still, small voice. I still dread to think what would have happened if I hadn’t gone for my mammogram then. On a practical note, I’d still be in treatment now instead of enjoying the festive season but the treatment could have been worse (chemo and radiation, a more radical surgery, etc.).
We took a family holiday in Ballito. For the first time, my sister’s family and my father joined for some of those days and it was so lovely. My sister and I said afterwards that we are so glad we took that time away before everything changed.
I also got to go home (!) to PE for my father’s 70th birthday a week before radiation started. Great timing and also good to see both parents as I’m told that it’s been hard on them.

I read more than 125 books. I will edit this post and put in the final number once the year is up. 125 is at yesterday when I finished Christmas at O’Mara’s. It has been a great reading year without slumps and, as usual, the key is to keep many options available, and read in every format available. It also helped that the City of Johannesburg bought many good (current) Libby books this year. When your holds come in, you get on with it and read.
I wrote 24 minutes every weekend in 2024 for #write24in2024. For about 3 weekends, the writing was by hand in my line-a-day journal or in my bullet journal, but most of that time, it was writing on this blog or my newsletter. I am very, very proud of this achievement because it’s not easy to sustain a discipline for 52 Sundays! Result – my newsletter subscribers received more than 12 monthly newsletters. Yay!
Some aspects of work went very well. I can’t give any particulars, of course, but I am happy with almost everything from this year. I can share this – I felt really supported by having good work friends this year.
I put on a list to have 24 fun nights. What counts? Actual different things done and nights away. At the end of December, we’ll have had 14 nights away in total, and I had an additional 6 fun nights out with friends. 20 out of 24 is great post-pandemic since I only go to gym these days and do nothing else that is fun.
I wrote about my 50 gifts project which ended up at 55 gifts. It was so, so, so fun and I have carried on looking for places to give instead of receive from this year’s birthday in August too. This year I’m not aiming for a number but I am listing them. My favourite gift in this 50 – 51 year is that I chose to give a monthly donation to Thula Baby Project in Cape Town. I forgot that I’d donated last year and they wrote to ask for a once-off, so I said I’ll do better than that – let me give an amount monthly. Easy to set up and they can now count on my giving to help support mothers and babies in CT.

What worked for you this year? What went well?

Filed Under: Goals, Mindset, Personal

16 December 2024 by Marcia Francois 3 Comments

{goals} 2024 reflection – how did the 24 in 2024 goals list go?

It is now the part of the year I love – reflection time! I may decide to post twice a week to get through, or I may decide to write the very abbreviated version of the annual reflection here, and properly do it in my workbooks; we’ll see!

I don’t think I ever posted the full list of 24 in 2024 goals. I actually have two lists and this I did tell you about.

quarterly goals update after Q1

six months in

And now here we are, with the year practically over.

24 in 2024

The statistics

I set 24 goals on the main list, abandoned one item and finished 21 out of the 23 which is 91% done.
On list 2, I set 23 goals and finished 16, which is 70%.
Not mentioned but done with 100% compliance to medical professionals – breast cancer, surgery and treatments – so I think I did great this year on the things that mattered.
My relationships are worse in some areas but I have to keep reminding myself that it takes two people to keep things alive. Not everything in the world is my responsibility.

What worked?

Having once-off items sprinkled into the list amidst project-based goals
Having an open mindset so that upholder tightening didn’t set in
Getting big things done early
Building review time into every month’s rhythms
Abandoning some things that were just not going to happen

my favourite jacaranda tree in Jhb

How do I feel?

After the breast cancer diagnosis, I considered abandoning everything but I found I needed a few things to work on and look forward to, like reading, exercise and writing. This turned out to be a great plan because many times, it felt like I was deep in the weeds and it helped me to have other things to focus on.
I will again make a 25 in 2025 list but there are a few things that are on there every year that I need to now admit are never going to happen, like weekends away with friends. I have a way higher likelihood of just doing my own thing. I think I have finally admitted that to myself.
I will, however, continue to set goals on the things that bring me joy, like creating, connecting and moving my body.

How did your 24 in 2024 list go?

Have you thought about what your 2025 list will look like?

Filed Under: Goals, Mindset, Personal, Planning Tagged With: 24 in 2024, goals, intentional living

2 December 2024 by Marcia Francois 2 Comments

{goals} Something fun from my unofficial goals list – give 50 gifts

When I did my birthday review last year, I noticed that I was feeling lonely and disconnected. When I feel like this, something that always works is to look outward and be generous.

I pondered and thought about what I could do to stop me focussing on myself, and I thought of something super fun.

I would give 50 gifts over the next year, from 6 August 2023 to 2024.

Depending on your mileage, that may seem like a lot or a little. I know that certain times of the year it is easy but I also was aware that since we don’t exchange Christmas gifts with friends, this might be a challenging but fun task.

And you know what, it was.

Here are my notes:

50 means I have to be focussed and intentional on giving at least 4 gifts a month, and then some.
I didn’t count gifts to my immediate family as that was happening anyway. The purpose of the project was to get me out of my head and into new territory.
Gifts include actual gifts, but also taking someone to lunch or supper for their birthday.
Gifts didn’t include the R250s that are collected for someone’s baby shower or wedding at work.
I noticed that many people in my work life had milestone birthdays this year and I decided to get a really nice gift for those people.

I have had many questions from people in real life.

Did you reach your project goal?

Yes, I actually ended up on 55 gifts. Indeed, some months I only gave a few gifts (1 in May, 2 in July) but February was a bumper month of 8 gifts and March was also good with 5 gifts.

How did people react?

Most of the gifts were for birthdays so the reactions were surprise and happiness. Others were genuinely dumbfounded at the thought that they were getting a random gift from me. These were the most fun.

Interestingly, a lot of people don’t say thank you properly these days which is always very interesting to me. Maybe gifts is not their love language and they were just confused? I didn’t let non-reactions put me off though. After all, I’m an upholder 😉

Wasn’t it expensive?

Yes, some of it was. I only realised that I should create a line item in my budget for gifts in April this year. They do sort of even out after a while. Food is expensive so the lunches/ suppers do get expensive but then you can also buy a few small “just thinking of you gifts” that don’t cost very much too.

Did others reciprocate?

A few did, but that wasn’t the point of the project, and I certainly didn’t expect it.

Will you do it again?

I’m not sure. I will for sure keep giving to the relationships I want to tend, and definitely continue taking people out for lunch and supper. The actual giving of gifts does take intentionality and forethought though and I’m not sure if I have the energy over this next year of my life.

Tell me about a fun project you’ve had.

Filed Under: Goals, Intentional living Tagged With: gifts, love languages, relationships

2 September 2024 by Marcia Francois Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about goals

This is part 4 of the Things I’ve learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Part 3 – social media

And now, for my favourite – the one about goals. I realised that I could write 50 things on goals and 50 things on time but let’s focus in on just 10.

The principles always work if you work the principles. This sounds hella boring but it’s so true. Even when things are going down the tube (cancer diagnosis, etc.), I’ve realised that the principles still work.
Write down your goals. This provides clarity, a sense of purpose and a reminder on what your goals actually are.
Look at your goals regularly – daily (if you like – this is too frequent for me), weekly, monthly, quarterly, half-yearly – and monitor your progress. At this point, you’re also allowed to evaluate if that goal is still serving you.
Once-off quick goals also serve their purpose for building momentum. E.g. organise your bedside table drawer. Suddenly you feel like you can tackle the whole bedroom’s 10 spaces.
Know your why. If you don’t align your goals with your own values, you won’t want to work at them.

It’s also good to have some projects to make progress on your regular habits (e.g. exercise twice a week, write every week, read a book every week)
Focus on the journey, not on the outcome. James Clear talks very nicely about this piece in Atomic Habits; the gist is this: if you control the things you can do (building the regular writing habit), then you will have a book at the end of x years or y months. Saying I want to write a book is lovely but more unattainable than saying, I will write for an hour, five days a week.
You will have obstacles. There is nothing wrong with you if you encounter stumbling blocks; this is all part of setting and achieving goals. Figure out how to go around/ over them.
Figure out how to make your goals work for you by using your personality or your Tendency. E.g. An upholder likes a schedule. Something on the schedule will almost always get done (my Saturday morning gym routine that I never miss unless sick or out of the city) An obliger likes accountability – if the obliger meets a friend at the exercise class twice a week, she will probably always pitch up.
Stop to celebrate your successes, even if small. This is where the monthly review is so valuable. It will provide motivation to keep on going.

Tell me your learnings about goals. What has worked for you; what doesn’t work for you that might work for others? Do you know your Tendency and how that has played into your goal-setting?

Filed Under: Goals, Personal Tagged With: goals, Things I learned by 50

29 July 2024 by Marcia Francois Leave a Comment

6 months in (actually 7!) – my 24 in 2024 list

At last count I was at about 54,5% in. I’ve just done an update and am now at 56,5% with two abandoned items.

Also, how do you count things you’ve actively and intentionally abandoned?

I’ve intentionally abandoned two items:

the Happiness Project Revisited – I wrote about this earlier this year. Nutshell version – due to immense postal failures, and being more than two months’ behind everyone else, I cancelled and withdrew from the project.
Do Book Club weekend away or not, and decide once and for all. I have decided once and for all that this item is off my list forever. What freedom in that choice. (this one falls in the same category but I get a complete for it because I decided)
Do something to celebrate my 50th birthday. Surprisingly, this was an easy decision for me. I’m usually the type to have a lunch/ party so I felt some pressure and at one accountability session with Beth, she said, “it’s your birthday, so just do what you want. You don’t need to do a big birthday party.” It feels so obvious but perhaps I needed the permission to listen to what made sense this year. I am a bit miffed that Ireland has very recently changed its visa laws because South African passport holders now need visas to go to Ireland 🙁

Back to the list!

Unsurprisingly, things that have gone well were once-off items that I could schedule or plan for, and then execute.

Also unsurprisingly, things that I’ve built habits and routines around, like decluttering, writing weekly, exercising and playing with my photography are also going well, but those I only move forward 0,08 every month, to reach a full 1 at the end of December.

The two items where I have made absolutely zero progress are:

losing 5 kg (I think I’ve dipped under my start weight by 0,6kg and then gained again)
doing a no-spend month (need to get clear on parameters – does it count if I’ve done a no-spend online shopping month?! I need to check if I qualify for that, at least). I have done two no-spend book months and a no-spend online shopping one. Do you know what actually helped me? By taking stock of what I already owned and first considering where those things would go, the exact same tactics I use with in-store shopping?

How is your 24 in 2024 list going?

Bought but not read it although I read the first in the series (The Last Party) and I loved it! Bonus – these are set in the Wales/ England area which is stunningly beautiful.

P.S. For fun, where can South Africans go with easy-peasy visa requirements? Countries that require an at-airport application or something you do and pay for online with a super-quick turnaround. The whole schlep of visa applications is the exact opposite of holiday fun in my head.

Filed Under: Goals Tagged With: 24 in 2024, goals, mid-year review

22 July 2024 by Marcia Francois Leave a Comment

What if you had a chance to reset the year?

First published in my newsletter on 30 June 2024

I have big plans for tomorrow morning – to wake up at or just before sunset, make a cup of tea and a rusk, and do a few reflection exercises.

Honestly, I feel sad, lonely and like nothing is working out but I’m still going to sit with myself and do a proper reflection over the next few days. I also have a milestone birthday coming up which is always a good time to take stock and change course.

Join me on one or more!

1. Mid-year review

What has worked?
What could be better?
What have I learned about myself?
What needs to change?
What delighted me or energised me?
How am I living my values?

2. Word of the year review

I have never changed my word mid-year before but I might do so this year.

A few questions for your word of the year review:

How is my word guiding me?
Am I living out my word?
Is my word helping me make decisions in line with my values?
Do I need to change my word? Why?
How will this new word support my current circumstances?

3. 24 in 2024

I wrote about my decluttering efforts which are some of the items on my 24 in 2024 list.
Here’s my Q1 update.

I am 42% through my list as at the end May and I want to take a whole bunch of things off that I have no intention of pursuing. More in the next couple of weeks.

4. Work/ Career review

The company I work for happens to have a financial year-end of June and I’ve just finished performance discussions (and had mine) so this is the perfect time to reflect on the past year.

To what extent did I achieve what I set out to do?
Am I still making a difference?
What is working? (with exception reports and the like, it’s important to stop and notice if anything is working)
What do I need to change?
What do I need to finally accept? (hybrid LOL)

5. Financial review

Just because I’m on a money kick…. (are you listening to The Broke Generation podcast yet? It’s money + psychology)

Did I set any financial goals this year? (get out your list)
Am I where I thought I would be with these financial goals?
What is going well? (did you automate savings or transfers into an investment account?)
What is not going great? Why?
Do you need to stop and reset your goals?

Please note – these are all OPTIONS. I certainly do not mean for you to feel overwhelmed by reading this list.

What to do

Pick one or two on the list.
Make a cup of tea or coffee
Block out 30 minutes
Get writing

(Bonus – think about the prompts while you’re having your shower or bath, or even making that cup of tea – and then get writing when you sit down)

Filed Under: Goals Tagged With: goals, intentional living, mid-year review, word of the year

6 May 2024 by Marcia Francois Leave a Comment

5 steps to get back on track when life tries to derail you

We’re four months done with the year and things are getting a little bit boring in respect of pushing through with your goals, right? We’re all churning along with the same old goals we set in December/ January, still striving to figure out some stuff, and if you’re in South African, no loadshedding but plenty (PLENTY) of power outages, water pipes bursting and depending on solar like it’s your lifeline (it is!). Or you’re being majorly derailed. I wrote a few weeks ago about me breaking loose with my decluttering projects.

I had some very clear health goals and guys, I’ve lost only 1.3 kg in 4 months. That’s it. My iron meets the doctor’s expectations but the cholesterol still needs work (my view is it’s the red meat I’m forcing myself to eat two to three times a week because I hate kale and spinach more…).

These two examples are not unusual, by the way; I just conveniently forget about the slump every year until I notice the pattern. You see, it’s not a matter of if you will be derailed, but rather, what will derail you.

I like to think like this – if you know that on the way to your goals, you will encounter 5 obstacles, then in your head, your expectations are managed, and it’s a “oh right, here’s obstacle 1, and here’s obstacle 2” instead of “oh my gosh, I’m a failure, why did I set this stupid goal, why did this happen to ME, I can’t do it, etc.”

5 steps to get back on track

Identify the symptoms

Are you feeling tired, demotivated, frustrated or overwhelmed? Great! These are the indicators that you need to be aware, notice and most probably shake things up.

2. Get very clear on the why for your goals

Do you still want to go after your goal? Why? (my health kick – yes! but maybe I can let loose a little on the decluttering since I have done a lot and it’s been a way of life for years so I am unlikely to stop at this point)
If you don’t want that goal anymore, here’s your big, fat permission slip to stop and change things.

3. Get clear on your derailers

Here’s where James Clear and his Atomic Habits book shine.
If you can’t seem to make progress on your goal, it’s time to analyse your behaviour. Are you derailing your efforts because you don’t pack a work lunch? Or you can’t seem to do your monthly savings goal because you’re out for a long and boozy supper every week with friends? Should you rather change into your gym clothes at work (yes, at work) and drive straight to gym instead of going home first? Which micro steps can you take to put you back on track? If you’re not sure, or you need someone to brainstorm with you, I can be that person.

4. Pivot

Expanding on 2 above regarding your permission slip, maybe you don’t want to stop your goal entirely? Maybe you just need to tweak the goal? I have slashed some things off my list (one – instead of 24 fun nights away/ in Jhb, I’m adjusting it to 12 as that seems to be the rhythm after the four months)

If you wanted to study and you missed the first semester deadlines due to finances/ couldn’t get everything to align, etc. maybe you sign up for the semester starting mid-year? If you’re not making good strides with something (me, the weight loss), change something (I am having a call with the Lovely Maureen, my Weigh-less group leader, who is the perfect combination of Compassion and Kindness, to bounce some ideas around).

5. Celebrate your successes

We all tend to look at what we have not done rather than what we are doing. Don’t forget to stop every month (better if you can do so every week) and count the things you did get done, whether they were on the list or not.Remember: we are not the things we do.

Have you done your goals review for April yet? Here’s a quick way to get that done using your Tendency.

Filed Under: Goals Tagged With: four tendencies, goals, goals review, health, money, monthly review

8 April 2024 by Marcia Francois Leave a Comment

Goals update – 24 in 2024 goals, and the secret list :)

I’m writing this goals update 3 months and 1 week into the year.

Summer – beautiful, but I have had more than enough of it.

A few disclaimers before I start the update:

I have two lists this year, the main one and a few more fun, once-off items on a second list, simply because when I looked at the main list, it looked like a LOT of hard work and I didn’t want to feel burdened by a list.
Therefore, when I talk about numbers done, I’ll refer to both of these.

Done

Buy a new car
Try a new stretch class
Read Atomic Habits as a work book club (I have read it, we have met 4 out of the 6 allocated sessions and I got what I wanted from it).
Listen to more music. I have listened to more music in one month than I did the entire year of 2023, so I’m calling it done.
Watch more TV. Same. May I recommend Dance Life on Prime Video? I loved it! I love seeing people in their passion and hard work that goes into making that passion true excellence.

Abandoned

Do Happiness Project Revisited. Towards the end of February, I cancelled – nothing to do with the content but I was bone tired of chasing up on my playbook, nearly 3 months after ordering. The chasing up was worse than work and it was causing unhappiness instead of happiness. (nothing to do with Gretchen’s team; I am not sure why DHL decided to send it to our liquidated Post Office in South Africa – seriously, we have no post offices).

I was trying to take a photo of my favourite new summer pants; clearly I am bad at taking these pics but I still liked how I looked, so there you go

In progress

Exercise going well but I have abandoned the stretch because I wasn’t getting enough cardio and that is very important to me for heart health.
Reading – 30 books in
10 non-fiction physical books – I have finished 4 of the 10; 2 currently in progress.
Play with photography again and post things that delight me – yes, going well! Also really looking forward to full autumn foliage, the most beautiful season.
Write 24 in 2024
Use up 24 beauty/ body/ bath products – this is going very well. Just this week I had a little relapse (I bought a set of body wash/ body lotions, realised only once I’d got home and opened it up so I kept one of each, and gave some to the kids and Precious). Bonus points for me for returning the other two boxes I’d also bought.
Do many declutter challenges – I have now done 6 batches of 24 (you can see all of these on my Instagram highlights; I post the week’s stuff every weekend.

on my other list, I have to try a recipe every month. this is so easy because of Instagram. Also, StephCooksStuff 🙂

The other list

Finish listening to last few CDs before decluttering them – done (the new car sped things up because I have no CD player so had to listen on Spotify)
Make eye appointment – yay, I don’t need new specs. R10 000 saved!

And that’s it – very happy with my Q1 progress. On my main list, I am tracking at 33,3% for the year, which is ahead of my budget. Good thing, because it looks slow hereon out unless I actually get around to planning my 50th, booking a weekend away or doing that no-spend month. Hmmmm.

How are you doing on your 24 in 2024 goals?

Filed Under: Goals, Personal Tagged With: 24 in 2024, goals, time management