{Covid-19} 5 things I love and 5 things I’ll miss about lockdown

As we close out this month, and there’s more talk of opening up, I thought I’d share my 3 lists of 5 things. Do join me. This is great for your own Covid-19 journalling πŸ™‚ or your bullet journal.

5 things I miss (more here)

  1. Freedom
  2. Seeing friends face-to-face
  3. Going to the gym
  4. My dance classes
  5. Kids going to school

5 things I love

  1. No traffic going to work
  2. Not having to colour my hair
  3. Seeing the daily winter sunsets (I would usually still be at work or driving home)
  4. Everyone is doing their own laundry
  5. Seeing the kids relate to each other like they did when they were little

5 things I’m grateful for (more here)

  1. Zoom Zumba and our core group of workout buddies
  2. That my husband and kids love being at home (I think this family can take only one of me!)
  3. Audio books accompanying my cleaning
  4. Cooking healthy meals and using up everything so there’s no waste
  5. Excellent sleep (I’ve averaged 8 hours for the last two months)

What are some of the things you miss and love about lockdown?

PS if you want to do a monthly review, download your monthly review pack here

{Covid-19} Is there any point to having goals?

I was so excited about my 20 in 2020 goals. And when the effects of the pandemic started to affect us in South Africa, I waited a bit, and then I realised that I might as well scrap almost half the list.

So is there still a point to having goals? I think so. Here are my thoughts:

  1. Expectation and hope

We all want to be able to look forward to something, to have hope that things will be different in the future and to anticipate good things. Setting a few goals will help with this.

2. Most of your list has probably changed. Accept that fact.

I had many goals involving travel, my house (contractors) and running workshops. I had 6 workshops on my list – I managed to run 2 before lockdown, so there’s that. At least I can take the workshops virtual, so please book your place – I’d love to have you.

3. We’re not writing off the year. 2020 is still happening; it just looks different

I’m journaling every night so that I can remember this time in my life even though the days seem to run into one another. I’m also posting a photo on Instagram. Search my hashtag and you’ll see all my posts.

It helped me when I looked at my list and focused on the feelings I wanted from all those goals. Core desired feelings, if you will. I wanted togetherness, to nest, to create beauty, connection and to teach. Much of that I can still do, just in different ways.

Coaching question – how can I still create the feelings I want given my current situation?

the idea is that this is for 3 months… we’ll see if I need to make a new list after that

4. Make a 19 for Covid-19 list instead of the 20 for 2020 one

I didn’t even make a new printable. I crossed out 20 and wrote in 19. My list now has things only I can control. I don’t need to travel, I don’t need other people; I can do my list by myself, in my home. It’s actually quite empowering when you realise you have agency.

I may make a list for the newsletter subscribers of things you might want to sort out in your home. I’m holding my plans very loosely these days because I’m doing a ton of cleaning, all the cooking and food prep, and about 150% of my job.

5. Give yourself grace and permission to just survive if that’s what you need

I know we’re not all the same type of people. Some have lower energy, chronic diseases, more kids, etc. If you need to put three things on your list, and one of them is “shower, cook food and put on a load of laundry”, then that is 100% fine.

But if you do start to feel like you want something to work on, a little project or two, I have many suggestions – there’s the house, there’s organising, there’s a course (what about Discover Yourself?), there’s the Four Tendencies, or just read a book or two every month. All good ideas.

I hope you’re inspired to think about goals a little differently in this time of Covd-19.

Please share what’s keeping you going these days.

{Covid-19} Keeping sane by moving your body

We’ve been in lockdown (not allowed to leave the property) for a month. I am doing daily journalling for the first time ever in my life and I’ve noticed that the days I’m getting to move my body through a walk or actual exercise classes are the days I’m calmer, happier and a better human being.

Why is it important to move?

  • you sleep better
  • oxygen gets to your brain for clearer thinking
  • you feel better, and are a less anxious and overall happier human being

I wasn’t using the word “moving” as a euphemism for exercise; moving to me on most days means to:

  • get outside
  • notice the beauty
  • listen to the sounds
  • smell different smells
  • engage all your senses

(excellent mindfulness activities for an ESTJ, who needs to stay present and move slower through life)

I have found 4 things that help me get the most out of virtual exercise (my Zoom Zumba class)

  1. Dress as you would for a normal class at the gym – tie your hair up when necessary, wear a sports bra and sports shoes
  2. Tell yourself, I only have these 30 or 60 minutes, so I have to make it count, and then dance your heart out
  3. Keep the video on – it will keep you accountable and moving
  4. Set up your environment for success – have a big bottle of water ready, clear the space of chairs, etc. and close a curtain if necessary to block out sunlight
My Zoom Zumba set-up – phone, water bottle, untidy desk πŸ™‚

I know all these things because I’ve done the exact opposite – forgotten the sports bra, had to run downstairs for more water, and had to take a couple of minutes to move the camera so I wasn’t squinting into the sunlight.

Interestingly, the Zoom Zumba is the only class I feel inclined to participate in. I have zero interest in doing virtual ballet – I want to have the class vibe for that. I may change my mind soon, but for now, let’s Zumba πŸ˜‰

Are you moving enough? I’m probably not, but these days cleaning also counts and I’m doing plenty of that!

Do you participate in any virtual exercise classes?

PS Today Dion and I celebrate 25 years of marriage and I started off my day with Zumba πŸ™‚

Project – declutter bookshelf

Let’s take a break from all the Covid-19 talk and focus on a fun, pretty project you could do during the workdays, if you’re not working, or on the weekend if you want a break from boring things like laundry.

I had a goal this year – to go through my bookshelf and declutter anything I no longer wanted to read. So this is it – these are all the books I own, other than the ones that live on my Kindle.

Here’s what I did and suggest you might like to do too:

  • If there are books a friend has loaned you and you know you’re not going to read them, return them. If you keep them, they start to guilt you everytime you look at them. None of us needs that guilt.
  • Return any books to their owners that you have read. See the brown wrapped book? Ready to go to a friend when I can next see her.
  • Pick up and go through each and every book on your shelf and make two piles: those you have read and those you have not read.
  • For the ones you have read, honestly answer these questions:
    • Do I love this book so much I want to keep it? Might I re-read it? Yes – keep. No – toss aside (I only keep books I LOVE and that rate an 8-10/10)
  • For the ones you have not read, answer these questions:
    • Am I likely to ever want to pick this book up to read? Yes – keep. No – toss aside
    • Was I gifted a book I don’t want to read, but am keeping because the person is a special friend or family member? Hold the book, think positive thoughts and toss aside.
    • The not-sure bunch. Ask yourself, is this a title I want to take with me into my future? Here’s where it’s easy to let go (most things I know full well I am never going to read).

Those tips helped me a bunch. I now have books on my shelf I know I want to read and a lovely pile of books waiting downstairs to donate to my local library.

If you choose to go through your books, please send me pictures or better still, post your pics to Instagram or Facebook and tag me to come see.

{Covid-19} It’s all flipped, hasn’t it?!

Our president made his first announcement about social distancing on Sunday 15 March, and then on Monday 23 March, he announced that lockdown would begin on Friday 27 March.

We were on holiday in a very remote area of the country at the time of the lockdown announcement so we drove back home and were safely inside when lockdown began.

Monday 30th was the first day of work during lockdown. It was crazy. Also I made this list of things I wanted to get done on a daily basis. I was so naive. I work in financial services, which is an essential service. I am honestly busier now than when i have normal busy periods at work. If I don’t set good work boundaries, I end up working late into the night.

So that little Project Life card was only partially completed for 5 days and then I hid it deep down in the papers on my desk. Out of sight means no guilt about not getting things done.

This was my daily list for the second day of work/ lockdown. By the way, that “write blog” entry is this very one I’m finally writing two weeks later. That’s exactly a metaphor for life. I’ve not felt like doing anything extra on the computer after spending so much time on it for my actual work.

So what’s the point of telling you how I’m not getting my list done? I wanted to…

share my real life with you (not that I don’t always do that)

show you my ideal day vs reality

tell you how I’ve adapted and how things are now going

My workdays are taken up with work, a Zumba class (which is saving my sanity!) twice a week, cooking daily suppers, keeping up with the laundry and basic daily cleaning. And occasionally checking on the kids to make sure they’re doing schoolwork.

The only time I actually have to do anything extra like extra reading, organising, deep cleaning, etc. is on the weekend, just like before. Except! I’m doing so much proper cleaning and cooking ahead that I don’t have much time for extra because I’m knackered.

It’s taken me a lot of time, and I still have to give myself a talking to because the truth is that my own standards for cleanliness are much higher than the rest of my family. Anyone relate? Everyone has jobs but I have the job of making sure the other jobs get done, and I do toilets because I’m the fussiest about toilets over just about anything else πŸ˜‰

I’ll leave you with these two last thoughts:

  1. go easy on yourself during these strange times and remember, you’re doing the best you can

but also

2. figure out how you can have some small joys during your day (cleaning up while listening to a catchy song – I recommend Ricky Martin) amidst all the cleaning, dishes, work and schooling going on.

How are you doing…really? Are you in essential services? How are your days being filled during this time? What’s keeping you sane?

{Covid-19} GRACE to stay calm during a pandemic

I read somewhere that the secret to happiness is self-knowledge and relationships.

My tips to stay sane (personally) during this time are very simple and I asked myself a question I explore every year – what do I need to do daily to be my best self? This looks different for each person. Figure out what you need and do that. E.g. Dion is an introvert and an enneagram 5, and has been having an afternoon nap to replenish his energy.

Long-time readers will know I have a card in the front of my diary to remind me of what’s important for me – you can see that card here.

This morning on Instagram I saw on Melanie Dale‘s stories that she has something similar with an acronym, GRACE. I think she is also an extrovert πŸ™‚

G – Gratitude – what are you grateful for?
R – Read – what have you read today (not about the virus!)?
A – Adapt – what do you need to do to adapt?
C – Create – what can you create?
E – Engage – who can you engage with?

Let’s use an example to work through this framework.

G – I’m grateful that I got to go out twice today (safely!), that I didn’t get lost on the way to book club (getting lost is my superpower!) and that we are all well and healthy.
R – I read for 30 minutes this morning and will read again for a couple of hours tonight.
A – we adapted by adding a Zoom call to our book club (other examples are me cooking favourite meals with substitute ingredients)
C – I’m creating right now as I type out this newsletter to you
E – I engaged at Zumba, at Weigh-Less and with my book club friends

Here’s to a great couple of weeks of nesting and connecting, and getting those cupboards sorted if you want πŸ˜‰

If you look through this link, you’ll find tons of inspiration to play with Konmari concepts in your home πŸ™‚

{Covid-19} Let’s be intentional about our at-home time

Let’s quickly talk about being intentional while the threat of Covid-19 continues. When I use the word intentional, I don’t mean productive unless that is what you want to be intentional about. The last thing I want to do is put you under pressure; I want to give you grace and a few tools to take this one day or week at a time.

While I’m a girl who loves a plan and to know what’s happening, I’ve decided to take it all one week at a time. It’s how I plan anyway and I’m reminding myself things change in an instant. I’m making a Three Things To Do Today list and that’s it. My three things usually have something physical/ creative, something productive and something connecting.

What would your Three Things list have on it?

Mentally

  • If you’re feeling anxious, stop and ask yourself, “what will make me feel less anxious?” If it’s something you can do something about, do it. Otherwise, severely restrict your social media and news time. I’m not an anxious person by nature and even I started feeling a tinge of anxiety, so I’ve been reducing my social media time.
  • Fill your head with affirmations (write them out on an index or Project Life card), encouraging podcasts and things that make you happy. Jennie Allen has a great book out (how timely!) called Get out of your head. I started the Bible plan a few days ago and so far, great!

Physically

  • If you’re working from home, make sure you keep specific work hours, and stick to those hours. It’s so easy to work all the time and because you’re naturally going to let your home things bleed into work time, you may feel guilty. Don’t do this. Work hard during work time, and then switch off (yes, use a reminder on your phone!). If you want, track your work time so that there’s no guilt about switching off when your day is over. This is an excellent tool for obligers especially, but will also work for upholders and questioners.
  • Get outside in nature and go for a walk or run, just not with other people. Find a form of exercise because when you get moving, you’ll feel better. There are plenty of free things on the internet these days; one of my favourite ballerinas, Isabella Boylston, is doing ballet from her apartment. A yoga teacher I know is doing virtual yoga classes. All of these are win-win; exercise for you, and you’re supporting a small business/ Dancers Emergency Fund.
  • Get plenty of sleep. I know it’s hard but some easy sleep hygiene is to get off your phone early in the evening, read a relaxing (physical) book and stop drinking caffeine at lunch time.

Organising projects

  • A fellow twin mom, a little ahead of me in the game, shared on her Instagram how their family is going to play all the board games they own while they’re quarantined. They will then decide to declutter the games they no longer like. I think this is an excellent idea, don’t you?
  • You know all those things you wrote on your list at the beginning of the year? If they still matter to you, now is an excellent time to tackle them. Involve the kids! This book might help! Print out the list 4 “things I could do in 2020” so there’s no pressure on you, and see how you go. I love to hear feedback – let me know and tag me if you’re on Instagram.
  • Download your customised Tendency to-do list here

What are the things that you’ve found to work well for you?

Hoarder vs minimalist kids

See these two children?

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One of them is a hoarder and one is a minimalist.

Case in point: stuffed animals

I went all Konmari on them and asked them to hold each animal and the animal only should stay if it brought them joy.

I received 8 from one and 1 from the other.

!

I don’t think I’m being mean because the truth is that it’s easier to keep a room tidy if there is very little to do in the room.

The minimalist does their room in about 5 minutes flat – fold pyjamas, make bed, tidy up.

The hoarder takes about 2 hours if not encouraged every 5 minutes.

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So how do you work with their personalities and still have a somewhat tidy house that we all feel relaxed in?

I don’t know how you do it, but here are a few things that help me:

  1. I make them each a list that they ideally should do before coming downstairs. Some days are earlier though so they skip some of their chores.
  2. They are really motivated by food so they need to be at least dressed with PJs put away before breakfast.
  3. Definitely no play unless the rooms are done.
  4. Since we moved into this house with stairs, I send them to do a video of their “tidy” room so I don’t have to run up and down over and over again…. apparently I have budding videographers (they also love instagram stories!) because this gets them moving – they want to make the video!
  5. One child said no when I asked if I could post the video but it was really cute…. “look Mummy, this side is clean, this side is clean and OOPS, I forgot about _____ but now I’ve picked it up so that’s clean too”.
  6. I work in the one room regularly to weed out extra clothes, stationery, toys, to make things easier to put away. That child is always so thankful because then tidy up is super quick. I do throw in a little organising lesson about how when we don’t gather as much, it’s so easy to keep the room nice and tidy…. but at heart this one is a collector πŸ™‚

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Share your tips with me in the comments.

And if you’re in Jhb, we definitely use our kids’ tendencies to get them to do things without annoying them. Join me on 4 April, 6 June or 1 August for a practical, informative and FUN Four Tendencies workshop. Email me for banking details so that you can reserve your place.

{time} DREAM method to organise time

time

D – Decide on the vision for your time

What do you want your day, week or life to look life? What do you want to include? More importantly, what don’t you want it to include?

R – Remove everything (for now)

When you remove everything non-essential from your schedule, you can see exactly what time you have to spend on the things that most matter to you.

2020 diary

E – Eliminate the non-important and non-urgent

Remember the important/ urgent matrix? Eliminate the non-important and non-urgent. You’ll find your time freed up to spend on important things.

A – Arrange your schedule in a way that works for you

We are all different and we therefore have different preferences and energy styles. If you’re a lark, go to gym in the morning or get up and do your reading then. If you’re a night owl, sleep in and do everything possible at night.

2020 diary

M – Maintain your priorities

  • Do a form of weekly planning on a fixed day every week and write down three priorities for work, personal and home (or whichever categories you prefer).
  • Use an Eat the Frog list daily to keep on track.
  • One in, one out – if you add a new commitment to your life, you probably need to remove one if you didn’t already have blocks of available time.
  • Keep your monthly calendar periodically to make sure your priorities are well-represented.

That’s it – that’s how you use your DREAM method to organise your time.

Does your time need a revamp? Do you find yourself busy but not filling your days with what matters to you?

You might want to consider booking a time makeover coaching session with me specifically dedicated to getting more of what matters to you in your days, weeks and months. Read more here.

Weekend routines and rhythms

We are all different personalities and need different rhythms for our weekends to feel like they were good ones.

What is important and consistent across personality types is for all of us to decide for ourselves what the components are that will make a weekend feel successful, and then incorporate those elements into our days.

This will also differ according to different times and life stages, e.g. in winter I cook more because that feels more life-giving to me, but in summer I only want to be in the kitchen a very short time.

Let’s look at some components of a successful weekend, shall we?

church – anchor event

1. Anchor events and scheduled activities

In this section, extroverts will typically want to have more time spent with other people where introverts will be happier by themselves.

I have at least three anchor events on most weekends – a tea with a friend after work on Fridays, Saturday morning Zumba and Sunday morning church. Those things are scheduled and in my diary, and can move, but probably won’t.

2. Downtime

We all need downtime, but what downtime looks like for you may differ to the next person.

Some people relax by reading on the couch; others relax by going for a long run. You do you.

3. Chores

Let’s face it – we all look forward to getting some nagging things off the to-do list and I, as an enneagram 1, like nothing more than to potter and set things in order in my home. The week is often for keeping the house ticking over and weekends are when I (and you) can devote a longer period of time to a little deeper cleaning or organising, like swopping summer and winter clothes, decluttering your kitchen cupboards, etc.

4. Planning

This only has to take 20 – 30 minutes but is so useful if done consistently. I know some couples who take time on a Friday night to plan for the week ahead. I do my planning in two stages – quickly on a Friday night or Saturday morning I plan the menu for the week ahead and write out the shopping list, and then on a Sunday afternoon, I take 5 – 10 minutes to review and plan for the week ahead. On very busy weekends, I might push the planning to a Monday night but I like to still get it done.

I need to get out once a day at least or else I get cabin fever πŸ˜‰ but other than that, I like to both relax and get things done around the house every weekend. This goes out the window if I have a heat headache but if I’m well, that sounds like the perfect weekend for me.

I’m flexible around my loose plan (typical upholder!) but I do need those first three components to be present, and I feel like I’m winning for the next week too if I get my planning done.

What are the components for you to feel like you’ve had a successful weekend?

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