2 Sep 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about goals

This is part 4 of the Things I’ve learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Part 3 – social media

And now, for my favourite – the one about goals. I realised that I could write 50 things on goals and 50 things on time but let’s focus in on just 10.

  1. The principles always work if you work the principles. This sounds hella boring but it’s so true. Even when things are going down the tube (cancer diagnosis, etc.), I’ve realised that the principles still work.
  2. Write down your goals. This provides clarity, a sense of purpose and a reminder on what your goals actually are.
  3. Look at your goals regularly – daily (if you like – this is too frequent for me), weekly, monthly, quarterly, half-yearly – and monitor your progress. At this point, you’re also allowed to evaluate if that goal is still serving you.
  4. Once-off quick goals also serve their purpose for building momentum. E.g. organise your bedside table drawer. Suddenly you feel like you can tackle the whole bedroom’s 10 spaces.
  5. Know your why. If you don’t align your goals with your own values, you won’t want to work at them.

  1. It’s also good to have some projects to make progress on your regular habits (e.g. exercise twice a week, write every week, read a book every week)
  2. Focus on the journey, not on the outcome. James Clear talks very nicely about this piece in Atomic Habits; the gist is this: if you control the things you can do (building the regular writing habit), then you will have a book at the end of x years or y months. Saying I want to write a book is lovely but more unattainable than saying, I will write for an hour, five days a week.
  3. You will have obstacles. There is nothing wrong with you if you encounter stumbling blocks; this is all part of setting and achieving goals. Figure out how to go around/ over them.
  4. Figure out how to make your goals work for you by using your personality or your Tendency. E.g. An upholder likes a schedule. Something on the schedule will almost always get done (my Saturday morning gym routine that I never miss unless sick or out of the city) An obliger likes accountability – if the obliger meets a friend at the exercise class twice a week, she will probably always pitch up.
  5. Stop to celebrate your successes, even if small. This is where the monthly review is so valuable. It will provide motivation to keep on going.


Tell me your learnings about goals. What has worked for you; what doesn’t work for you that might work for others? Do you know your Tendency and how that has played into your goal-setting?

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26 Aug 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about social media

This is part 3 of my Things I learned by 50 series.

Part 1 – time

Part 2 – organising

Pongwe, Zanzibar

  1. Don’t go on social media on “special” days like Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. Trust me.
  2. Be generous with liking your friends’ posts; it doesn’t cost you a thing to like someone’s post but it does mean that they see that you’ve seen their posts.
  3. In the same vein, do leave comments, not only on friends’ posts but on anyone’s posts. I try to be generous and giving with comments if I have time and I know that it certainly brightens up authors’ days (they have sent me DMs to indicate same).
  4. Contribute first and then consume. You will feel better by contributing to the conversation or beauty of a platform before simply scrolling.
  5. Give yourself a daily (healthy) limit. I have a limit which I often break but at least I know that I’m then intentionally breaking my limit. This is easy to set up if you have an iphone.
  6. If you’re zoning out on a particular platform, ask yourself, “what am I avoiding?” It could be an easy answer like “doing the laundry” but it could also be enlightening like “I’m avoiding having a difficult conversaion” or “I’m procrastinating on x piece of work because of y”.

  1. Post about things that delight you, not what looks good on your grid (unless this is truly sparking joy for you). I’d started to feel at the end of last year that I should only post certain types of content and I made a goal to post delightful things to me this year. My version of delight is probably different to yours, and that’s okay. Sometimes you might need to take a complete break for awhile if the whole thing feels draining and no longer brings you joy.
  2. Remember that you can’t see or hear tone or body language on social media; hold everything loosely and don’t read into things that may not be there.
  3. Some people are really just living their lives; they are not posting AT you, they are just posting. This can feel hard when, for example, you see groups of friends having fun and you feel disconnected and lonely, or if you see people on beautiful holidays to Europe when you can’t even take a driving holiday two hours away. See 7 above – perhaps take a break for a week and see how you feel when you come back.
  4. Always assume positive intent. Look, there are people whose sole mission in life is to stir but this is not most people. Block or mute those people if you’re not ableto handle it. Then you can assume positive intent for the rest.
  5. Bonus – Does this content spark joy? You control your algorithm. If you don’t want to see gossip and strife, stop reading those posts and engaging with them (liking/ commenting/ sharing). My one account (organisingqueen) is very carefully curated to only be about organising, time management, goals, homes and reasonable tips. If I see other things creeping in, I become hyper aware and unfollow/ mark as “irrelevant”, etc. My marcia0608 account is a mishmash of friends, travel, gorgeous photography and should be pure delight. I mute or unfollow accounts if the content feels like it’s not meeting what I want that account to be.

Which learnings can you add regarding social media? I would love to know!

All three of these photos were taken within seconds of one another with slightly different perspectives

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19 Aug 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about organising

Continuing my series (but if I can’t get to 50, I’m giving myself permission to stop) on things I learned by 50.

Here’s the first edition… on time management (even as I wrote that first blog, I thought of so much more I could write, so maybe we’ll circle back to time again).

For today though, here are 10 of my favourite things about organising.

      1. Just start. I also feel daily like I couldn’t possibly do one more thing and then I fold a sweatshirt and before you know it, my bedroom is tidy and it took 10 minutes. Pick a teensy weensy thing (decide this thing for every room in your house so that you don’t waste time thinking).
      2. “You can do anything for 15 minutes” – Flylady. It’s excellent advice for life (I tell myself this for all medical appointments) but works well for both organising and time. If you just use 1 and 2, you’re sorted for 90% of your home jobs.
      3. “Don’t put it down; put it away” – Suzanne Moore. Yes, my friend, Suzy, had lots of wisdom and I still remember her words when I walk to the kitchen and am tempted to just dump things anywhere. Two seconds longer and the thing is put away vs addint to clutter.
      4. Ask yourself, “who can use this today?” This is my favourite hack for decluttering. Most people dilly dally about decluttering BUT when they focus on thinking about people who need that jersey/ pair of shoes/ set of mugs, it’s much easier to let go. Bonus – set up weekly or monthly systems to get the things from your house to the animal shelter/ orphanage/ homeless people on the corner.
      5. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be organised. When I first blogged about that concept many years ago, it was true. It’s still true these days despite all the organising accounts on Instagram encouraging you to buy perspex containers to organise all your things. The inside of my cupboards STILL have mismatched containers. Remember the rule: if you can find what you need in a minute or two, your space is organised.

      1. One in, one out. Better still – one in, more out. I was in a home store a few weeks ago and fell in love with some beautiful side plates BUT I realised that I love my existing ones too and I’m not ready to let them go.  This is a lovely “rule” for keeping your stuff contained to their spaces.
      2. A place for everything and everything in its place. It’s the reason it’s the number one organising tip. If you don’t have a place for everything, go around your house and decree the space’s purposes. Then you and everyone you live with knows to return things to that space.
      3. Before you buy anything, ask, “where will it go?” I go around the homeware stores and think about where that blanket/ pillow is going to go (and if I need to let go of the existing one – see 6 above). This will stop you buying lots of stuff you don’t need.
      4. Surfaces are for working and not for storage – Gretchen Rubin. I never quite thought of it like this but it’s true. I’m trying to instill this in my daughter whose desk is always full of junk so there’s only a tiny bit of space to open her school books. If the desk is clear, it’s so easy to set down your homework and get to it without first having to clear all the mugs, glasses and who knows what else.
      5. Outer order, inner calm. If your brain feels like it can’t focus on what to do first, tidy your surroundings. Even tonight as I sat down to write this post, I quickly tidied my desk so that my mind is clear to focus. Same in the kitchen – make sure your counters are clear so you can be creative with cooking or at least get it done fast 🙂

Which one of these tips most resonated with you?

Do share your own favourite organising tip (I’m definitely going to have to do a part 2)

 

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12 Aug 2024 by Leave a Comment

I’m 50; 10 things I’ve learned about time

Last week I celebrated the milestone of turning 50.

I don’t take this lightly because two close friends died before their time during the Covid days.

I started making one of those lists I LOVE to read and then I decided to see if I had enough to post several lists of 10. I think I do because I’ve written one list on time and one on organising, so let’s see if I can stretch it to another few lists after I post about those two categories.

These are the 10 things I learned about prioritising, saving and using your time more effectively during my 50 years:

  1. Ask every day/ hour/ week/ month… what is the best use of my time right now?  This has the surprising ability to clarify your priorities and I ask this question at least once a day, and while I’m working, several times.
  2. If it’s going to take two minutes or less time to do something, just do it.
  3. Saying no is a big part of saying yes. If you struggle to say no, consider which parts you can’t say yes to because you’re saying no to the wrong things… right now.
  4. Work expands to fill the time available for it. If you want to clean your bedroom for two hours, you can do that. But if you only want to spend 20 minutes, you will get the most important things done during that time too.
  5. There’s always enough time if it’s important to you. I wrote a book about this called 31 days of enough time. If you find it important to exercise, you will make the time. If you want to connect with friends, you will figure out the how.

  1. Plan your week and plan your day before it even starts. This ensures that you hit the ground running, even if only in your mind. A plan doesn’t have to be a 10-item list; it can be 3 things too.
  2. Get enough sleep and your productivity will increase. This is the first thing I work on with all coaching clients – sleep. If you think it doesn’t matter, try getting a 7 – 8 hour block of time for about 4 – 5 days at a stretch and see how energetic you feel and how productive you are. Book your coaching session!
  3. Eat your frogs first but don’t put more than 3 – 5 frogs on your list every day. I like only 3 during a work day (and these days, one of them is to show up fully present, prepared and engaged!) and 3 – 5 on weekends.
  4. Before you add a commitment to your schedule, ask yourself if it sparks joy. Sometimes attending a meeting at school in itself does not spark joy but the outcome – knowing what’s going on and being connected with your child – does.
  5. Done is better than perfect. That first done level is at about 80%. Did you know that it will take as much time to do that last 20% as the first 80%? If you have the time and you’ve finished the first 80% quicker than you planned, by all means, do a bit extra, but it’s helpful to understand the metrics upfront.

 

Which are your favourite time tips?

Did one of these tips particularly resonate with you?

(I live to hear from you like old-school blogging so make my day and comment)

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17 Jun 2024 by 1 Comment

Why my reading’s going so well this year

I am having an exceptional reading year so far.

When you decide if a reading month, season or year is good, some people judge that based on number of books, some judge by quality of books and I judge it by these criteria:

  • Am I excited to pick up a book and read? (vs scroll my phone)
  • Do I consistently have something to read next?
  • Am I reading great quality books? (I would rather read fewer books but have them be 4 and 5 stars than many 2.5 – 3.5 star books)

A few things are influencing this year’s reading year:

Quality over quantity

Since first hitting the over-100 books mark (I’ve been reading over 100 books a year since 2017 and in 2016, I read 97, so very close), I’ve tried to observe the point at which the goal makes me chase a number rather than the quality of the book. As you well know, I love a goal but I feel like that number is 100. When I’m chasing more than 100, I start looking for shorter books that I can finish quickly, I start pressing through on things I’m not enjoying and I start choosing books on length rather than the story. So my goal has been 100 or fewer for a few years now. This year my goal is 96 (12 months X 8 books). As at the end of May, I’d read 50 books so I’m well on track to reach my goal. I like keeping it low so that I can enjoy reading longer books and not automatically only reach for 300-page novels.

Libby

My Libby (City of Johannesburg) has come out of hubernation. For a few years there were many books I wanted to and did read (2019 – 22; 2020 – 29) but then in 2021, only 6, and in 2022 and 2023, nothing. Not one book on Libby that was something I wanted to read and hadn’t.

Suddenly, this year, on the 1st, I went in and lo and behold, many new buys so I put as many holds as I could and borrowed one or two immediately, and so it started.

I am very good at tagging, so I have whole “shelves” full of “want to read” or “not for me”. I do this second tag because too many books sound the same these days and therefore I don’t want to waste time clicking through and reading a whole synopsis, only to realise, “oh right, that’s the reason I haven’t placed on my “to read” list”.

The good thing about Libby is you have two weeks (in South Africa – I think it may be three weeks in the US) to finish a book so you have to crack on and read. The not-good thing is that the COJ library only buys one copy of a book so there are always tons of people waiting so you cannot renew popular books. E.g. I have borrowed Wintering by Katherine May (haven’t started reading yet!) and it’s due in 11 days, with 5 people waiting. Which means, I need to get reading because that book is disappearing in 11 days and I’ll wait at least 2.5 months before I can borrow it again.

Reading my physical shelves

I decided at the end of last year that I’m tired of looking at the same books I want to read over and over. Why don’t I just prioritise them and get reading?

Hence my goal to read the non-fiction books on my shelves. I have done a great job so far, and when this is done, I am almost never going to buy a physical non-fiction book again. I’ve read 7, am 34% through with one and 70% through with another, have 3 left on my shelves but only plan to read two as I decided devotionals are not for me after ploughing through 1 for months.

That’s it.

In a nutshell, I am reading at a faster pace than I planned (and way more non-fiction) because of Libby (already 17 books for this year), my little non-fiction project and I think I have enough sources of books (let’s not forget my own Kindle shelves – 28 – and Everand, formerly known as Scribd) to keep me reading.

 How is your reading year going?

PS interestingly, I’ve unsubscribed from all but one reading podcast. That might also be a factor – the other two read books I am not even remotely interested in picking up… so I’ve stayed with the one where there’s a definite Venn diagram of overlap with my own reading

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8 Apr 2024 by Leave a Comment

Goals update – 24 in 2024 goals, and the secret list :)

I’m writing this goals update 3 months and 1 week into the year.

Summer – beautiful, but I have had more than enough of it.

A few disclaimers before I start the update:

  1. I have two lists this year, the main one and a few more fun, once-off items on a second list, simply because when I looked at the main list, it looked like a LOT of hard work and I didn’t want to feel burdened by a list.
  2. Therefore, when I talk about numbers done, I’ll refer to both of these.

Done

  1. Buy a new car
  2. Try a new stretch class
  3. Read Atomic Habits as a work book club (I have read it, we have met 4 out of the 6 allocated sessions and I got what I wanted from it).
  4. Listen to more music. I have listened to more music in one month than I did the entire year of 2023, so I’m calling it done.
  5. Watch more TV. Same. May I recommend Dance Life on Prime Video? I loved it! I love seeing people in their passion and hard work that goes into making that passion true excellence.

Abandoned

Do Happiness Project Revisited. Towards the end of February, I cancelled – nothing to do with the content but I was bone tired of chasing up on my playbook, nearly 3 months after ordering. The chasing up was worse than work and it was causing unhappiness instead of happiness. (nothing to do with Gretchen’s team; I am not sure why DHL decided to send it to our liquidated Post Office in South Africa – seriously, we have no post offices).

I was trying to take a photo of my favourite new summer pants; clearly I am bad at taking these pics but I still liked how I looked, so there you go

In progress

  1. Exercise going well but I have abandoned the stretch because I wasn’t getting enough cardio and that is very important to me for heart health.
  2. Reading – 30 books in
  3. 10 non-fiction physical books – I have finished 4 of the 10; 2 currently in progress.
  4. Play with photography again and post things that delight me – yes, going well! Also really looking forward to full autumn foliage, the most beautiful season.
  5. Write 24 in 2024
  6. Use up 24 beauty/ body/ bath products – this is going very well. Just this week I had a little relapse (I bought a set of body wash/ body lotions, realised only once I’d got home and opened it up so I kept one of each, and gave some to the kids and Precious). Bonus points for me for returning the other two boxes I’d also bought.
  7. Do many declutter challenges – I have now done 6 batches of 24 (you can see all of these on my Instagram highlights; I post the week’s stuff every weekend.

on my other list, I have to try a recipe every month. this is so easy because of Instagram. Also, StephCooksStuff 🙂

The other list

  1. Finish listening to last few CDs before decluttering them – done (the new car sped things up because I have no CD player so had to listen on Spotify)
  2. Make eye appointment – yay, I don’t need new specs. R10 000 saved!

And that’s it – very happy with my Q1 progress. On my main list, I am tracking at 33,3% for the year, which is ahead of  my budget. Good thing, because it looks slow hereon out unless I actually get around to planning my 50th, booking a weekend away or doing that no-spend month. Hmmmm.

How are you doing on your 24 in 2024 goals?

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16 Jan 2023 by Leave a Comment

Rest 22 in 2022 – my update

Last year Gretchen Rubin‘s challenge for her podcast listeners was to #rest22in2022.

rest 22 in 2022

Here’s my introductory post and how I thought it would go… and then here’s where I was assessing things after the first quarter. When I read those two posts I realise that 1) I really tried to be intentional about it and 2) keep evaluating what was working and what wasn’t.

Still, it was my worst project to date 😉 and I gave up on it properly during the first week of May. For the rest of the year, I used the tracker to track my workouts so that I didn’t waste the paper!

Why was it so hard for me? Surely, as an upholder, I should have just scheduled my rest and got on with it.

Well, one of my coaching clients pointed something out to me – the idea of rest was too nebulous for me. Exactly right! I couldn’t quite get a handle on what it looked like for me and, if you’ve come on the Four Tendencies course/ had a coaching session with me, you know that upholders need clarity.

I didn’t have clarity.

When I decided to finally abandon the project, I told myself that I am sleeping well, I read daily and I do enough “restful” activities like spending time taking photos, connecting with friends, etc. and that will just have to do for rest. But no more tracking.

And so I could release the idea of doing #rest22in2022.

Tell me, because I know many of you are experts at resting, how did the year of rest work for you?

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19 Jun 2022 by 1 Comment

The week that was…weekly reflections 18, and Father’s Day

My friend and accountability partner, Beth, asked me this week if I stopped blogging due to my heavier work schedule.

Beth is known for asking me questions that stop me in my tracks, like this one. 🙂

The answer is no, my work schedule is no heavier than it was earlier this year.

However, this is month 4 of being back in the office two days a week so I feel like I’ve adjusted to the new routine. Still, I used to blog on a Sunday afternoon as I’m currently doing so what has changed?

The answer is that I looked at my page views per blog post. It was such a tiny number (even smaller than you’re imagining!) that it didn’t seem worth disrupting my reading on a Sunday to come blog.

I’m still not sure who I’m writing for but that’s where I am. I love writing a blog, I love the idea of keeping a blog going for years and years (16 now!) but I know that it’s not a good use of my time.

If you have a few thoughts to share, I would love to hear them!

Today is also Father’s Day. We’re going out for an early supper to celebrate.

I sent a gift to my own father via my sister – I spoke to him earlier and apparently my sister is coming around later. “With cake?” I asked hopefully, because all good visits need cake and tea.

One of my clients’ dads died just a few days ago. My heart goes out to you if this day is difficult for you in any way.

We’re on the home stretch for June. I’ve literally just set goals for June and here I am, about to do my half year review 😮

Have a wonderful week, everyone!

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1 May 2022 by Leave a Comment

The week that was…weekly reflections 16… and OneDayMay

Autumn in Johannesburg 🙂
  • Today is Workers Day in South Africa. When we have a public holiday on a Sunday, the Monday following also becomes a public holiday. This is now the fourth short workweek we’ve had.
  • I just updated my budget earlier today – a task I hate doing but love when it’s done – and I noticed I bought 5 (!) notebooks this week. I think subconsciously I’ve been on the lookout for good ones because 1) I’m using a very pretty notebook with terrible paper at work (if I use a post-it, it pulls at the paper) and 2) I’m moving into a new bullet journal tomorrow when I do my April goals review.
  • My phone had a little accident this week and got fixed about a day and a half later. I am so happy I can take photos again!
  • I hosted book club at my home yesterday after 11 months, but more importantly, inside! It almost felt like normal having people inside my home again. Our April book was L A Weather by Maria Amparo Escandon, and it was a lot… a lot… a lot…
  • Then on Friday, Dion and I celebrated 27 years of marriage! Gosh, it feels like a lot and I guess that makes us solidly middle-aged now.
  • This month I’m participating in Laura Tremaine’s One Day May social media challenge. I’m going to try and do most of them on the blog but we’ll see – my weeks are generally work and nothing else – so I may revert to my Instagram like I did last year. I’m @OrganisingQueen. Today’s prompt is to start with a selfie.

Hope you had a great week!

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24 Apr 2022 by 1 Comment

The week that was… weekly reflections… 15

very odd driving on the highway at night while there is loadshedding

I’m feeling very discombobulated at the moment so this is going to be short!

I cannot believe how few people currently read this blog – it’s completely disheartening and is giving me pause even though I know I write for myself. I used to tell myself “no-one reads blogs like they used to” but actually, that’s not true.

This week I only finished one book – The trouble with goats and sheep by Joanna Cannon – I’m still not sure what to make of it but gave it an overall rating of 3,75. I should finish 2 – 3 books in the next week though.

And that’s it for this week! Hope yours was better than mine.

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