5 Love Languages of Children

See these two children?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_0813-001.jpg

One of them is a hoarder and one is a minimalist.

Case in point: stuffed animals

I went all Konmari on them and asked them to hold each animal and the animal only should stay if it brought them joy.

I received 8 from one and 1 from the other.

I don’t think I’m being mean because the truth is that it’s easier to keep a room tidy if there is very little to do in the room.

The minimalist does their room in about 5 minutes flat – fold pyjamas, make bed, tidy up.

The hoarder takes about 2 hours if not encouraged every 5 minutes.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is best-konmari-003.jpg

So how do you work with their personalities and still have a somewhat tidy house that we all feel relaxed in?

I don’t know how you do it, but here are a few things that help me:

I make them each a list that they ideally should do before coming downstairs. Some days are earlier though so they skip some of their chores.
They are really motivated by food so they need to be at least dressed with PJs put away before breakfast.
Definitely no play unless the rooms are done.
Since we moved into this house with stairs, I send them to do a video of their “tidy” room so I don’t have to run up and down over and over again…. apparently I have budding videographers (they also love instagram stories!) because this gets them moving – they want to make the video!
One child said no when I asked if I could post the video but it was really cute…. “look Mummy, this side is clean, this side is clean and OOPS, I forgot about _____ but now I’ve picked it up so that’s clean too”.
I work in the one room regularly to weed out extra clothes, stationery, toys, to make things easier to put away. That child is always so thankful because then tidy up is super quick. I do throw in a little organising lesson about how when we don’t gather as much, it’s so easy to keep the room nice and tidy…. but at heart this one is a collector 🙂

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is best-konmari-004.jpg

Share your tips with me in the comments.

We definitely use our kids’ tendencies to encourage them without annoying them. Join me for a once-off, one-on-one Four Tendencies coaching session. Until the end of this year, they’re only $50 for an hour. In 2021, they’ll increase to $60. Email me for banking details so that you can book your session.

What I learned in October, and goals for November

As you know, this is my favourite time of the month.

It’s goals review time!

So how was October?

I asked Connor (my 7-year-old) to help me with my review and we filled up almost a whole page with highlights 🙂

Aside from a few days where I was a tad too stressed for my liking at work, it was a great month.

1. A social media fast is really good for me.

I loved praying for people during my social media fast.

We received TWO offers during that week of prayer. We accepted one and now we’re waiting for the bond to come through.

2. I’m dreaming about not paying for two houses

How do people manage multiple properties? The mental load is just way too much, not to mention the expense. I’m going to be really glad when all our money can go towards paying for this house.

3. It feels really good to get things done off my to-do list

This month we automated our garage doors. Game changer. If you’re local and you need someone, I heartily recommend this company. I have not had such excellent service in years. It almost felt like a pleasure paying over the money.

We also did some boring things like get electrical and plumbing work done, and some exciting things like painting our kitchen cupboards. There’s a story to this which I will post about next month.

4. I’m really looking forward to the 5 Love Languages workshop on 19 November.

I’m super passionate about the 5 love languages. May I be so bold as to say even if you’ve read the book, I still recommend that you come to my workshop. There’s a different energy to learning with people, hearing things “live” vs reading from a book. I’ve read both books and attended two workshops – one as a participant and one to get certified as a facilitator.

5. I learned that I’m really quite grumpy if I can’t work from home now and again

I’ve had laptop problems – it basically only worked connected properly to the network with a cable! So it’s been very challenging.

Also, when I work from home, because I cut out commuting time (nearly 2 hours) I get to run a few errands during the day, keeping me on top of my life admin.

6. Intentional friendship is a really beautiful thing

I have all kinds of friends – both local and some that live far away. The far away friends and I often just arrange phone dates which is the best ever.

Or we whatsapp for 15 – 20 minutes and that’s also good. There’s also the option for voice messages which is so nice to get an unexpected treat during the day. I love it.

I also have friends who must have arrangements planned well in advance and some who you can phone up and say, “are you free for tea tomorrow? I’m going to be in the area” and they say yes, always.

7. Muscle memory is a real thing

I thought I wouldn’t be able to learn the complete spanish dance syllabus by exam time and while I’m not completely polished yet, I’ve been practising hours and hours every week, and that’s paid off. Perseverance and telling myself I just need to do it enough and it’ll (eventually) click. And it’s working.

11 days to the exam… and last night I had a dream where the examiner told me we’d run out of time and therefore I couldn’t do the dance, the one I’d been practising for weeeeeeeeeks on end. Ha!

For November I have one BIG goal – and that’s to NAIL my Spanish exams – and one important goal: for each person who comes to the 5 Love Languages of Children workshop to leave changed and understand exactly how to talk their kids’ love languages.

How was your October?

How do you create time for friendship?

Are you joining me for the workshop? If you’re not local, let me know if you’d like to book a 60-minute Skype session.