The week that was…weekly reflections 12

  • Today, two years ago, was South Africa’s first day of lockdown, level 5. Don’t even go back and read my posts for that first month or two; I was a complete idiot writing things like “how to make the most of lockdown” and such nonsense. I mean, my kids took one look at my list of things to keep them busy and promptly ignored it. I had big plans to do organising and cleaning projects around the house and instead, I just worked more. Madness! Oh well, we all live and learn.
  • This week was an out of the ordinary week as we were on holiday in the Drakensberg. Just like two years ago! The difference is back then we drove back from our holiday three days early to be back home in time for lockdown. What a surreal two years this has been.
  • As usual when I go on holiday, I made a list (#upholder) with books to read, blogs to write, photowalks to take, things to cook, etc. and I did everything, so that is excellent because it means I’ve read lots (5 books!), did responsible things like updating my budgets and updating diaries, etc. and also fun things like photowalks, reading and finishing my Feb photos. Delicious!
  • After I publish this post, I’m going to lay out all the leftovers for supper and then pack as we travel back to Jhb tomorrow. While I love being away, I also love returning to my home and I’m ready for my own bed again!

How was your week?

{mindset} Back to working at the office

This post was first published on 18 November 2020 but I forgot to tell anyone that it was here so I’m republishing. South Africa has been moved back down to level 3 from 28 Dec 2020 as our Covid-19 numbers worsened dramatically with the second wave.

In South Africa we’re now on level 1 (we have been for a while) and some companies who were working from home are now returning to the office.

Mine is one of them. We are back two days a week which seems like a lovely easy way to return to the before way of life.

However, I’ve been amazed at how many decisions I have to make on the days I work at the office or in preparation for working at the office. Nothing is straightforward as it was before – I take my own water bottle, don’t drink tea or coffee there, and I take all my own food.

We are hotdesking so I also take my own sanitiser for my desk because, let’s face it, I never trust other people to clean things properly.

In an effort to minimise the number of things I have to carry around and therefore sanitise, I no longer use a separate laptop bag. I had a laptop replaced in July and the new one is smaller so I use a laptop sleeve, a pencil bag for my mouse, headphones and charger, and this all fits in my handbag. I therefore carry my handbag and another tote with lunch bag, water bottle and sanitiser. And, of course, a comfortable mask.

Pros of working at the office

  1. Aircon in summer
  2. I listen to an audiobook there and back (that’s about 3 hours of listening every week)
  3. My car gets a good run (I had the battery run flat about 6 times during lockdown because I live too close to where I shop and they told me 5 km of driving every week is not enough to keep a battery going)
  4. There is a lovely clear boundary for the end of my workday as we have to be out of the building by 5pm.

Cons of working at the office

  1. Anxiety about anyone coming near me (see trust issues above! Also, I’m an upholder and so many people don’t follow the rules)
  2. Much lower productivity at the office (this was never perfect pre-Covid but it’s exacerbated with all the handwashing, mask-wearing, and so on)

Settling into a good work from office routine was one of my goals for November because we also moved offices, so there are slightly new routes to figure out as well as all the Covid-19 safety protocols to navigate.

Are you back in the office yet? Have you found your groove? How long did it take you to settle in?

If you’re feeling ambivalent about going to work at the office, maybe make a pros and cons list or definitely save some treats just for the office (special coffees, biscuits, etc.)

{organise} Quiet your house and your life

Many of you know that one of my teeny-tiny habits is that I tidy or clean something in the kitchen while I wait for the kettle to boil. You can do a lot in 2 – 3 three-minute stints daily.

One day I looked up at the mugs and things felt too busy. I then did what The Nester recommends and I quieted the space by removing all the mugs from the shelves. I had rainbow mugs up here for much of the year because they made me happy. I then swopped out the bright colours for the more muted tones above. They still spark joy but they spark quieter joy.

You know how this goes – when you start one thing, you start thinking about the rest of your life. I felt so calm with the mug shelf that I noticed my calendar felt too full.

It’s understandable that things have started to feel a lot busier for me due to the opening up from the intense lockdown to our current level 1 lockdown in South Africa.

I started going back to Spanish in September and went back to the gym last week. We’ve also been told that we’ll be required to come work at the office twice a week from November. From a schedule with no leaving the house to leaving five times a week is a big change.

It all feels a bit sudden while at the same time getting out is also welcome. I realised that I need to close all my open loops so that I don’t enter this busy season collapsing every night when I get back home from overwhelm. This is why I wrote this post talking about first doing something about your physical space and then considering what’s hampering your mental space too.

Which of your physical spaces do you need to quiet? And your mental space?

{mindset} So many pandemic changes – part 2

We started talking about all the changes that we need to consider due to the pandemic last week. Read part 1 here.

And a huge disclaimer – I know that we are fortunate that our jobs have been secure thus far. If your income has been affected, I’m sorry – that completely sucks.

5. House/ external environment

I’ve told myself, since we’re not travelling, we might as well spend some of that money on our house so that we’re as comfortable and happy here as we can be.

To that end, I’ve had a handyman in to fix 6 little things, a plumber came to sort out some minor annoyances before they become big things, my garden is looking good for now (Jhb has no winter rainfall so the garden is decent) and my house is fairly deep-cleaned as my domestic worker is back for 40% of our pre-covid arrangement, which is actually why I can blog and am not cleaning!

We sealed some windows and had carpets replaced (two years later than I planned!) and now I just need a painter to come and paint my downstairs and I think we’ll be good for a while again.

More importantly than projects, we’ve moved things around in the house so that the entire space works better for this new C19 life. That couch on the left is no longer there – I needed it there for the workshops but since those are no longer happening, we’ve moved it upstairs to the pyjama lounge so the kids can relax near us while we’re working.

Zumba in my study

6. Exercising

In the beginning of the lockdown, exercise was a substitute as we waited for “things to return to normal”. Now that we realise this is how it’s going to be for a long time, and things are not going to return to normal for a long, long time, and we’re working from home so are far more sedentary, I have personally realised that I need to either get happy about my methods of exercise, or change them.

Zumba has been keeping me sane, I’ve found I really do not like ballet via Zoom though (I really do go for the whole sensory experience) and I love going for a walk to clear my head some evenings after work, especially now during autumn and winter. I’m under no illusion that when it gets too hot in Jhb, I’ll hate walking again and may have to do more Zumba classes, or maybe ballet will start looking exciting again πŸ˜‰

thank goodness for kindle books and scribd

7. Spending

Oh, this is a big one. I’ve had a couple of discussions on Instagram because I’m honestly fascinated by all these people who are saving money.

Yes, we’re not spending as much on petrol but our food has increased so, so much with all of us here all the time, snacking, eating, treating ourselves with food and the occasional takeaway.

We’ve had to upgrade our internet and with that comes an increased monthly expense – the speeds are not sufficient with two people working full-time, in meetings, and two children trying to also access the internet for their schooling.

I’m going to deal with clothes properly in a separate post but is there a need to buy clothes any more? I have to probably keep four work outfits for summer and four for winter, and even that is plenty. I have bought some clothes during the last four months – a sports bra, slippers and socks, so I clearly have enough clothes.

So what am I spending some money on? Scribd, Zumba, books and some toiletries.

Our repo rate (the rate that the banks loan money to people for houses) has dropped a number of times since lockdown to aid the economy. I’ve been sensible and increased our bond payments every time. I let the actual payment the bank requires go off on the 1st of the month, and then we pay in extra on the 14th. Let’s face it – things could change any day and it would be good to have a bit cushioned away for an emergency.

This photo was taken in February, and I’m so glad we made time to get together when we had the chance.

8. Socials

I would almost always rather meet up in person than spend time on a call, but calls and Teams/ Zoom meetings have been a delightful way to connect with my friends.

I do have some concern for some of my friendships because I’ll be honest – it does feel rather like I’m stoking an awful lot of friendship fires these days.

Even our bookclub has taken a knock – the nice thing about not everyone pitching is that you can really connect better with the ones who are there (and this is what I tell myself). The bad thing is it is an anchor during the month to connect with many friends at one time and if those friends don’t pitch, I don’t always have the time or inclination (or, enneagram 1!) feel like it’s my job anymore to always be the gatherer. I’m not sure if anyone can relate?

Tell me, how has the pandemic affected these four areas of your life?

{time} So many pandemic changes – part 1

I first started thinking about permanent pandemic changes when we had a meeting at work and our boss said that even when “all this is over”, we will only be required to come into the office once every two weeks.

(not wonderful news for an extrovert but I can decide and create my own amount of connection with other people, so not entirely a big deal)

A few weeks later in another virtual meeting, a colleague announced that she’d bought a second computer monitor to ease her work from home environment.

And then, on Instagram, a fellow organising friend said that they’d caved in and bought her husband a proper desk for the corner of the bedroom instead of making do with a dresser.

There are many thoughts that I have on this (I quickly jotted down 8 main categories) so I’m breaking up this post into two sections.

1. Work

If I’m only going into the office 1 out of every 10 days, as an extrovert, what will I need to do to keep sane? How much people time do I need? How will I connect with clients, colleagues and the greater company?

If you’re an introvert, you might be asking yourself, how do I get enough alone time with a house full of people all the day long? Am I doing what I need for my mental sanity?

2. Routines

Do I have good work from home routines? How will I ensure that I’m taking enough time off for rest and holidays? In pre-covid times, we were used to taking annual leave only to go away on an actual holiday. We all still need rest and relaxation. I write this on a day I’ve taken “annual leave” and I’m sat at the dining room table typing this blog post. I’ve also pottered around the house, listened to a book and podcast (and will do more of the same while I cook later) and supervised people installing new carpet upstairs.

I am going to make actual appointments every day at 5 so that I stop working – Zumba, ballet, friend dates, etc. I’ve also planned out some leave in August and September, and I already can’t wait.

3. Storage

I was tidying my Tupperware cupboards about a week ago and realised I have far too much (for reference, it’s all not real Tupperware, but plastic containers) for someone who is only going to an office once ever two weeks. So I’ve started to slowly let go. I always share my spinach with Nanny S (my family are not fans) and today I told her to put her half in a container and keep the container πŸ™‚ When things don’t fit, I immediately add to the donate pile. This slow and steady approach works for me, or you could also go Marie Kondo with your stuff (I did that 6 years ago).

One of my coaching clients, P, a Questioner – she came to both the 4T and the 5LL workshops last year and started coaching with me soon after that.

4. My workshops and coaching

I’ll admit it – it took me a good month to get my head around not having people in my house but now that I’ve run three virtual workshops, I’m completely there. I had to remind myself that in the old days, I regularly ran teleseminars (the parent of webinars) and loved them.

I do like having a month of workshops and then a break, and then another month and then a break, both in terms of preparation and Zoom payments.

I’ve always had a mostly virtual coaching practice so there’s been no change at all. If you’ve thought of coaching with me before, a low-cost, low-risk way to see if we’d be good together is to attend a workshop with me first.

My question to you is this: have you considered all the ways your life is changing and started to adapt to the changes? Let me know how, if at all, you’ve made changes in the above categories.

{goals} Word of the year – half year update

My word for this year is light.

It’ll probably give you a good idea of how things have been going if I tell you it took me a good 5 seconds to remember what my word is.

My word for 2020 is light – here’s where you can read more about how I chose it.

In 2020, I want to feel light…

  • physically – I need to lose 12 kgs
  • mentally – I want to let go of things quicker and not hold tight so long
  • emotionally – I want to lighten up with some things

I also want to look for the light more, in other words, get out my big camera and go make beautiful pictures. Honestly, I’ve gotten lazy and yet, it’s something that brings me such joy and delight.

So how has it been going?

Physically – yes, I am lighter but I’ve not lost 6 kg yet. Still, I really do celebrate my progress because I feel fine in my clothes again and that was the motivator for the goal. It would be nice to have a specific number milestone but I honestly have bigger things to worry about right now than reaching an arbitrary number.

Mentally – the covid-19 pandemic has helped all of us let go of all the unimportant things, right?! I’ve had to pivot with my workshops and friend dates and all the out stuff I usually do, so I’m doing well here but….

Emotionally – well, this pandemic has been throwing me for a loop. I’ve cried more during the last almost 4 months (but nothing since 1 June!) but I’ve also experienced more love and connection from my family, which does add to that feeling of lightness of being.

One place I’m excelling at is looking for the light. I have been playing with my camera and iPhone, taking pictures of changing light, morning light, evening light, and as I suspected, it’s been bringing me such joy.

I have been bringing light (clarity) through my workshops, coaching, and speaking, hopefully, I haven’t been hiding my light and playing a smaller game.

If you’d like to experience the light of my workshops, there are 3 open workshops left this year – two Four Tendencies workshops, and one Five Love Languages workshop. Please book your place here.

I’ll give myself a 6/10 for my word of the year update, which feels like a 9/10 rating given the state of the world. I can do better though and this is my reminder to save my word on my lock screen to remind myself more during the next half of the year.

How has your 2020 word been working out for you? Has it been a good reminder? Have you been living it out? Have you forgotten your word?

{Covid-19} How we do meals during lockdown

Let’s talk about lockdown and meals. I have been responsible for all but 4 – 5 meals during the last 83 days. The 4 – 5 meals were when we ordered in.

Part of that is a control issue (I do like to plan and cook the meals, and make sure than we don’t eat the same thing too much), part of that was a logistics issue (I am better at getting things done in the short time after work and when we want to eat) and part of that is a planning issue (at the start especially, there was so much that wasn’t available and food needed to be used up to make sure nothing went to waste).

Very soon though, I realised that after more than 8 hours of sitting at a desk, I enjoyed the chopping and slicing, combining, and flavouring. Doing things with my hands enabled me to use other parts of my mind and body. Is it the same for you?

Breakfast

Everyone is on a different schedule so does their own thing. I have noticed that during winter, my husband’s been preparing enough oats for him and the kids (I don’t eat any mushy food – I like my oats toasted and hard, like in granola). Friends, if people take over tasks in the house, say nothing!

We have variations on cereals like all-bran flakes, muesli, yoghurt, toast, etc. Nothing fancy or cooked.

Lunch

I usually loosely plan lunches – sandwiches with tuna, eggs, cheese, ham (when it was warmer), sometimes leftovers, etc.

I usually make the kids’ lunches – they are quite capable but I am not a fan of cleaning up after them as they don’t see all the crumbs, etc.

Suppers

I definitely make a menu plan. The menu plan is loose so I often swop meals around within the week, or abandon something altogether if I’m not in the mood to cook that meal.

Of course, as always, I run a very tight freezer inventory because I hate forgotten food and I love using up things. I’m a finisher.

On the weekends, I prepare that evening’s meal plus at least one extra. E.g. while I’m cooking pasta, I’m assembling enchiladas for the freezer. Sometimes the extras even run to two extra meals, which really helps during the week when I don’t have much time. Long-time readers will know that I always advocate cooking a double batch. When I did those enchiladas, there was enough filling for two meals – yay!

Working during this pandemic has been relentless and I’m afraid I’m not very good at switching off (yet) without a hard deadline like a Zumba class, so it helps when there are healthy meals in the freezer.

I always love cooking during winter so it’s been fun to experiment with the occasional new meal and to try desserts.

One thing I will say – I have not once baked banana bread or even been tempted to make a sourdough bread πŸ˜‰

What’s been your lockdown meals situation? Have you been eating out of your freezer and using up food? Would you say you’ve eaten better (healthier) or not so much?

{Covid-19} 5 things I love and 5 things I’ll miss about lockdown

As we close out this month, and there’s more talk of opening up, I thought I’d share my 3 lists of 5 things. Do join me. This is great for your own Covid-19 journalling πŸ™‚ or your bullet journal.

5 things I miss (more here)

  1. Freedom
  2. Seeing friends face-to-face
  3. Going to the gym
  4. My dance classes
  5. Kids going to school

5 things I love

  1. No traffic going to work
  2. Not having to colour my hair
  3. Seeing the daily winter sunsets (I would usually still be at work or driving home)
  4. Everyone is doing their own laundry
  5. Seeing the kids relate to each other like they did when they were little

5 things I’m grateful for (more here)

  1. Zoom Zumba and our core group of workout buddies
  2. That my husband and kids love being at home (I think this family can take only one of me!)
  3. Audio books accompanying my cleaning
  4. Cooking healthy meals and using up everything so there’s no waste
  5. Excellent sleep (I’ve averaged 8 hours for the last two months)

What are some of the things you miss and love about lockdown?

PS if you want to do a monthly review, download your monthly review pack here

{Covid-19} Is there any point to having goals?

I was so excited about my 20 in 2020 goals. And when the effects of the pandemic started to affect us in South Africa, I waited a bit, and then I realised that I might as well scrap almost half the list.

So is there still a point to having goals? I think so. Here are my thoughts:

  1. Expectation and hope

We all want to be able to look forward to something, to have hope that things will be different in the future and to anticipate good things. Setting a few goals will help with this.

2. Most of your list has probably changed. Accept that fact.

I had many goals involving travel, my house (contractors) and running workshops. I had 6 workshops on my list – I managed to run 2 before lockdown, so there’s that. At least I can take the workshops virtual, so please book your place – I’d love to have you. Edited to add – the workshops are over but you can book a Four Tendencies one-on-one coaching session with me.

3. We’re not writing off the year. 2020 is still happening; it just looks different

I’m journaling every night so that I can remember this time in my life even though the days seem to run into one another. I’m also posting a photo on Instagram. Search my hashtag and you’ll see all my posts.

It helped me when I looked at my list and focused on the feelings I wanted from all those goals. Core desired feelings, if you will. I wanted togetherness, to nest, to create beauty, connection and to teach. Much of that I can still do, just in different ways.

Coaching question – how can I still create the feelings I want given my current situation?

the idea is that this is for 3 months… we’ll see if I need to make a new list after that

4. Make a 19 for Covid-19 list instead of the 20 for 2020 one

I didn’t even make a new printable. I crossed out 20 and wrote in 19. My list now has things only I can control. I don’t need to travel, I don’t need other people; I can do my list by myself, in my home. It’s actually quite empowering when you realise you have agency.

You may want to make a list of things you might want to sort out in your home. I’m holding my plans very loosely these days because I’m doing a ton of cleaning, all the cooking and food prep, and about 150% of my job.

5. Give yourself grace and permission to just survive if that’s what you need

I know we’re not all the same type of people. Some have lower energy, chronic diseases, more kids, etc. If you need to put three things on your list, and one of them is “shower, cook food and put on a load of laundry”, then that is 100% fine.

But if you do start to feel like you want something to work on, a little project or two, I have many suggestions – there’s the house, there’s organising, there’s a course (what about Discover Yourself?), there’s the Four Tendencies, or just read a book or two every month. All good ideas.

I hope you’re inspired to think about goals a little differently in this time of Covd-19.

Please share what’s keeping you going these days.

{Covid-19} Keeping sane by moving your body

We’ve been in lockdown (not allowed to leave the property) for a month. I am doing daily journalling for the first time ever in my life and I’ve noticed that the days I’m getting to move my body through a walk or actual exercise classes are the days I’m calmer, happier and a better human being.

Why is it important to move?

  • you sleep better
  • oxygen gets to your brain for clearer thinking
  • you feel better, and are a less anxious and overall happier human being

I wasn’t using the word “moving” as a euphemism for exercise; moving to me on most days means to:

  • get outside
  • notice the beauty
  • listen to the sounds
  • smell different smells
  • engage all your senses

(excellent mindfulness activities for an ESTJ, who needs to stay present and move slower through life)

I have found 4 things that help me get the most out of virtual exercise (my Zoom Zumba class)

  1. Dress as you would for a normal class at the gym – tie your hair up when necessary, wear a sports bra and sports shoes
  2. Tell yourself, I only have these 30 or 60 minutes, so I have to make it count, and then dance your heart out
  3. Keep the video on – it will keep you accountable and moving
  4. Set up your environment for success – have a big bottle of water ready, clear the space of chairs, etc. and close a curtain if necessary to block out sunlight
My Zoom Zumba set-up – phone, water bottle, untidy desk πŸ™‚

I know all these things because I’ve done the exact opposite – forgotten the sports bra, had to run downstairs for more water, and had to take a couple of minutes to move the camera so I wasn’t squinting into the sunlight.

Interestingly, the Zoom Zumba is the only class I feel inclined to participate in. I have zero interest in doing virtual ballet – I want to have the class vibe for that. I may change my mind soon, but for now, let’s Zumba πŸ˜‰

Are you moving enough? I’m probably not, but these days cleaning also counts and I’m doing plenty of that!

Do you participate in any virtual exercise classes?

PS Today Dion and I celebrate 25 years of marriage and I started off my day with Zumba πŸ™‚

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