our good friends, J & P

One of my top values is connection and so I really enjoy spending quality time with my friends.

I found that life gets busy so quickly that months pass before we realise that months have passed (!) and then we have to try and find space in one another’s diaries.

I know “this is life” but I want to be purposeful about my time and prioritise the friendships that matter to me.

These three things are currently working for me:

1. Set the next date as soon as possible after I see them.

When we get together with one particular set of friends, we set the next date there and then for about 6 – 8 weeks out.

This way we always have something to look forward to and we don’t have to scramble to find the time to see one another.

I met another friend for lunch recently and we’ve already scheduled our next lunch date.

2. Use appointments or activities I currently have and “add a friend”

I’m using my lunch times and instead of eating at my desk in front of my computer (and blogging), I’m making one lunch date a week for the friends that are more my friends than couple friends.

I’m eating lunch and connecting.

I went to a parenting talk tonight and invited about 6 or 7 friends. All of them declined my offer (!) except one. She and I met up, enjoyed a cup of tea beforehand and sat next to each other during the talk.

I’m learning and connecting.

One more… I ran into a friend’s daughter at the gym last week and discovered she’s also a member now. What I plan to do is have us both work out and then have a quick juice/ cup of tea afterwards.

I’m exercising and connecting.

3. I made a friends spreadsheet

I resisted this for a looooooong time because it felt way too planned and structured for me.

And then I gave in. What does it matter if it helps me accomplish my goals?

I have the friends down the left and then dates along the top and I can see at a glance who I need to make more of an effort with.

It still feels OCD but it’s working 🙂

Two questions:

How do you keep up with all your friends?

Do you prefer to connect one on one, or in a big group?