When I did my birthday review last year, I noticed that I was feeling lonely and disconnected. When I feel like this, something that always works is to look outward and be generous.

I pondered and thought about what I could do to stop me focussing on myself, and I thought of something super fun.

I would give 50 gifts over the next year, from 6 August 2023 to 2024.

Depending on your mileage, that may seem like a lot or a little. I know that certain times of the year it is easy but I also was aware that since we don’t exchange Christmas gifts with friends, this might be a challenging but fun task.

And you know what, it was.

Here are my notes:

1. 50 means I have to be focussed and intentional on giving at least 4 gifts a month, and then some.
2. I didn’t count gifts to my immediate family as that was happening anyway. The purpose of the project was to get me out of my head and into new territory.
3. Gifts include actual gifts, but also taking someone to lunch or supper for their birthday.
4. Gifts didn’t include the R250s that are collected for someone’s baby shower or wedding at work.
5. I noticed that many people in my work life had milestone birthdays this year and I decided to get a really nice gift for those people.

I have had many questions from people in real life.

Did you reach your project goal?

Yes, I actually ended up on 55 gifts. Indeed, some months I only gave a few gifts (1 in May, 2 in July) but February was a bumper month of  8 gifts and March was also good with 5 gifts.

How did people react?

Most of the gifts were for birthdays so the reactions were surprise and happiness. Others were genuinely dumbfounded at the thought that they were getting a random gift from me. These were the most fun.

Interestingly, a lot of people don’t say thank you properly these days which is always very interesting to me. Maybe gifts is not their love language and they were just confused? I didn’t let non-reactions put me off though. After all, I’m an upholder 😉

Wasn’t it expensive?

Yes, some of it was. I only realised that I should create a line item in my budget for gifts in April this year. They do sort of even out after a while. Food is expensive so the lunches/ suppers do get expensive but then you can also buy a few small “just thinking of you gifts” that don’t cost very much too.

Did others reciprocate?

A few did, but that wasn’t the point of the project, and I certainly didn’t expect it.

Will you do it again?

I’m not sure. I will for sure keep giving to the relationships I want to tend, and definitely continue taking people out for lunch and supper.  The actual giving of gifts does take intentionality and forethought though and I’m not sure if I have the energy over this next year of my life.

Tell me about a fun project you’ve had.