Soul care vs self-care

If I speak to a group of 10 women, I can guarantee that the majority feels like they don’t have enough time for themselves.

We all have many roles in life. I’d guess that if you’re reading this post, you probably fulfill 5 to 7 of these roles: a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, sister, friend, business owner, employee or employer.

What then happens is that you tend to the more urgent roles and your personal time is usually the last thing on the list.

As a result, you start feeling resentful but also you may soon burn out.

That’s the point when people usually contact me.

This is great because I love working with people who are ready to take action and make changes in their lives.

Do you just accept this as your lot in life while you have young kids in the house or what do you do?

  1. Decide that you are also important

I never ever believe that we need to sacrifice the parts of us that make us feel most alive.

This is a mindshift change from mothers being the martyrs so take your time and work on this mental adjustment.

We can only input into others when we are replenished. I read a great parenting book, Parenting without Power Struggles, and in the book, she says we have to be calm before we can correct or parent our kids. I can tell you that a mother who has not had any time for herself is not going to be calm.

  1. Identify soul and self-care activities

Self-care activities are activities like a manicure, pedicure, hair appointment or massage.

Soul-care activities are those that feed your soul like sewing, mosaics, scrapbooking, painting and decorating. Still others are time, either by yourself to recharge (often the introverts) or with a couple of close girl friends to connect with yourself again (often for introverts).

Soul care is deeper and more nurturing than self-care, but both are good.

  1. Choose the minimum response that will make you feel like your needs are prioritised

In my work I talk about always knowing your minimum effective responses.

When my twins were newborns, life was crazy. I felt like I had no time to do anything for myself as I was running around washing bottles, making bottles, feeding, burping, bathing, changing, getting the baby to sleep, and then the other one would wake!

During those crazy times, I was happy if I could have just 5 minutes to sit, drink a hot cup of tea in peace and eat breakfast. Seriously, my expectations were just that low.

That was my minimum effective response.

Now, I expect to have hours every day to “do my thing” and I have that time because I’ve set things up that way.

But I started very, very small.

What is the minimum effective response for you to feel like you’re prioritising your needs?

Now that you have those questions sorted out, start creating the time for yourself.

3 steps to get enough me time

Me time |www.OrganisingQueen.com

In the last 6 weeks 90% of the women who have contacted me have said they feel like they have no time for themselves.

This is not unusual.

We all have many roles in life – if you’re a married woman and have children, you’re a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, most times also a sister, friend, business owner, employee or boss, etc.

What often happens is that you always tend to the more urgent roles and your personal time is usually the last thing on the list.

As a result, you start feeling resentful but also very soon you may burn out.

That’s the point when people usually contact me.

This is great because I love working with people who are ready to take action and make changes in their lives.

So what do you do?

Do you just accept this as your lot in life while you have young kids in the house or what do you do?

  1. Decide that you are also important

I never ever believe that we need to sacrifice the parts of us that make us feel most alive.

This is a mindshift change from mothers being the martyrs so take your time and work on this mental adjustment.

IMG_2573

  1. Identify a couple of activities that will work for you

Everybody is different so this is a personal exercise.

Some people like to do pamper-type activities like a manicure, pedicure, hair appointment or massage.

Some others like to do creative things like sewing, mosaics, scrapbooking, painting and decorating.

Still others just want time, either by themselves to recharge (often the introverts) or with a couple of close girl friends to connect with themselves again.

I like time to read or play with my camera 🙂

Are you seeing which group you fit into?

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  1. Choose the minimum response that will yield results

In my work I talk about always knowing your minimum responses.

When my twins were newborns, life was crazy. I felt like I had no time to do anything for myself as I was running around washing bottles, making bottles, feeding, burping, bathing, changing, getting the baby to sleep, and then the other one would wake!

During those crazy times, I was happy if I could have just 5 minutes to sit, drink a hot cup of tea in peace and eat breakfast. Seriously, my expectations were just that low.

That was my minimum response.

Now, I expect hours every day to “do my thing” and I have it because I’ve set things up that way.

But I started very, very small.

See?

So what is the minimum response for you?

Now that you have those questions sorted out, start creating the time for yourself. Block some time out on your schedule right now.

Me time – do you have enough?

If you’d like a free goals form for September, sign up here and you’ll get one tomorrow morning.

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In the last 6 weeks 90% of the women who have contacted me have said they feel like they have no time for themselves.

This is not unusual.

We all have many roles in life – if you’re a married woman and have children, you’re a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, sister, friend, business owner, employee or boss, etc.

What often happens is that you always tend to the more urgent roles and your personal time is usually the last thing on the list.

As a result, you start feeling resentful but also you may burn out.

That’s the point at which people usually contact me.

This is great because I love working with people who are ready to take action and make changes in their lives.

But what do you do when you feel this way?

Do you just accept this as your lot in life while you have young kids in the house or what do you do?

 

 1. Decide that you are also important

I never believe that we need to sacrifice the parts of us that make us feel most alive.

This is a mindshift change from mothers being the martyrs so take your time and work on this mental adjustment.

 2. Identify a couple of activities that will work for you

Everybody is different so this is a personal exercise.

Some people like to do pamper-type activities like a manicure, pedicure, hair appointment or massage.

Some others like to do creative things like sewing, mosaics, scrapbooking, painting and decorating.

Still others just want time, either by themselves to recharge (often the introverts) or with a couple of close girl friends to connect with themselves again.

Do you recognise the group you fit into?

 

3. Choose the minimum response that will yield results

In my work I talk about always knowing your minimum responses.

When my twins were newborns, life was crazy. I felt like I had no time to do anything for myself as I was running around washing bottles, making bottles, feeding, burping, bathing, changing, getting the baby to sleep, and then the other one would wake!

During those crazy times, I was happy if I could have just 5 minutes to sit, drink a hot cup of tea in peace and eat breakfast. Seriously, my expectations were just that low.

That was my minimum response.

Now, I expect hours every day to “do my thing” and I have it because I’ve set things up that way.

But I started very, very small.

See?

So what is your minimum response?

  1. Now that you have those questions sorted out, start creating the time for yourself.
  2. If you need help creating pockets of time or working on your mental shifts, book a Success Strategy Session with me.
  3. Alternatively, if you prefer to work alone, check out the Organise your time system. It comes with 12 weeks’ email support in case you get stuck.
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