{mindset} Do you have any extra in your tank?

Let’s talk about reserves.

Reserves is a term that simply means you have a store or buffer of time, energy or money as a safety net or a back-up plan in your life. Imagine these two scenarios… you get invited to a Zoom/ Teams meeting and are told that you’re being let go. Any change is a bit scary but if you know that you have absolutely no savings, no plan and no support, this will be a terrifying time for you! On the other hand, if you know that you have a couple of month’s worth of expense money in your savings account, your CV/ resume is current and ready to be sent out, and you have a good network to draw on, you will feel less terrified, maybe even somewhat confident in tackling this challenge in your life.

I speak to many people who say that they just don’t have enough time to do something that will make a big impact on their lives. Or they’re too tired or too drained to do something that they will really enjoy. If you have reserves in your life, aren’t you more likely to feel content, at peace, and also able to tackle anything? If you don’t have reserves, however, you probably will feel anxious, worried and afraid. Challenges like the example above will also feel worse if you don’t have health and stress reserves built up.

Having reserves means that you have enough at any given moment. This is freedom because it means you can make choices without having a lack of something – usually time or money – dictate how your decisions should be made. You also need a reserve of space, whether emotional or physical, to fulfil your dreams or, very basically, to do things that make you feel more like you.

How can you create the life you want if you don’t give yourself any space and time to do so? Time reserves mean that you don’t jam-pack your schedule so that you can say yes to connection with others or to your own pursuits. During this pandemic, I’ve spoken to many people who have said things like “I don’t think we’ll ever go back to all the activities again”. They have tasted time freedom and it feels amazing. We will talk more about time in next month’s article (I can’t wait! Send me questions you want me to talk about).

I also want to emphasise the physical aspects – stress and health. Almost everything feels doable if you’re in good health and you don’t feel stressed. If you don’t take care of your health and manage your stress, your body will start talking to you in the form of disturbed sleep and other physical ailments.

Once you’ve completed the worksheet, you’ll probably start to see a pattern that explains some things in your life. If I had completed this worksheet 10 months ago, I would have had very few yes answers in areas like health and stress. This also explained why I was so frazzled and crazy during early lockdown. I’m not making excuses – I’m just explaining that there’s always a reason why a particular area (s) of your life doesn’t seem to be working. I know you’ll all agree that it’s far nicer to feel content, fulfilled, satisfied and at peace than irritated and miserable.

I made a printable for you – the creating reserves worksheet – and you can download it here.

Tag me on Instagram @OrganisingQueen when you complete it while enjoying a lovely hot/ cold drink – I LOVE seeing your tags!

5 ways to manage the stress in your life

Years ago when I first researched the topic of stress, I learned that there’s good stress and there’s bad stress.

The good stress works for us when we need a bit of a boost to get things done on a deadline or when we need to perform in whichever way, like speak to a group, give a presentation, and so on.

But then you reach that point. The point where you’re so fraught with nerves, you literally just snap at the slightest thing.

For some of us, this only happens as we approach the end of a long year without a holiday but for others, it might feel like we’re permanently frazzled and on edge.

That’s not good.

I generally manage my stress well but I’ve learned to check in with my body regularly, especially when I notice that I’m snapping at people and generally being unreasonable and not myself.

The key here is to acknowledge that some parts of life are going to be stressful. Your personality, life stage, and career will generally dictate what is stressful to you.

However, the trick is to incorporate enough of the stress busters below into your daily routine so you de-stress regularly.

  1. Exercise

Research shows that regular exercise is a good, healthy stress reliever. Find out what kind of movement works for you. There are dance classes, walking, running, swimming, cycling, kick-boxing, and of course, working out at the gym. From personal experience, I can tell you that a boxing class is a great stress reliever to take out your frustrations.

  1. Get enough sleep

Research also shows that most people need between 7 and 8 hours’ sleep every night. Just like babies, when we don’t get enough sleep, we get crabby and everything irritates us.

I set a goal to have an average of 7 hours 30 minutes of sleep every day. The lovely thing about an average is that you can’t only sleep well 2 nights out of 7. It’s got to become a habit.

  1. Learn to say “no”

Many people are stressed because of built-up resentment due to their inability or unwillingness to say no. Trust me – it gets easier the more you say it.

If it’s really difficult for you to say no, start with small things like refusing a second helping or declining to have a perfume sample at the mall. Then you build up to saying no to parts of projects or to invitations to events you don’t care for.

  1. Practise self-care

Self-care is not only taking a bubble bath to getting a manicure or a massage. I actually feel that it’s knowing what works for you and incorporating daily or weekly parts into your life. Part of my self-care is reading every day and getting outside for a weekly walk. My self-care also includes having strong boundaries like saying no. The main thing is to do something for YOU on at least a weekly basis, preferably daily.

  1. Use your support system regularly

When you feel overwhelmed or frazzled, call a friend, family member or colleague, either just to talk or to help you!

Stress assessments online test whether you have a person in your life to talk to when you feel stressed. Find such a person for yourself. You don’t always need answers; it’s just to talk through things.

Which of these ideas will you next put into practice for better mental health?



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