thank-you notes

11 Aug 2016 by Marcia Francois 8 Comments

On thank-you notes and words of affirmation

Gretchen Rubin and her sister chatted at length (three different podcasts!) about thank-you notes after Elizabeth confessed that they had 30 kids over for her son’s birthday party and she still hadn’t done any thank-you notes, months later.

They invite people to chat back via the blog comments or voicemail and wow, people had all sorts of opinions.

This is how I commented on the blog:

If I were Elizabeth, I’d write individual emails (most of it a standard template) and say, “sorry this thank-you note is so late but we’re very grateful and I didn’t want to let the lateness put me off. Thank you so much for Jack’s _______.” Done – no more guilt!

On the matter of lateness, I personally feel in life we get hooked on that and forget the bigger picture. People say I’ve been saying hi to the same person for so long and I still don’t know his/ her name but it’s too late to ask now.

My view is ASK! I have had this happen to me and I say, “oh I’m so sorry. We’ve been saying hello for months now and I completely forgot your name”. Then they tell me and I tell them, and then I try to remember!

Does this happen to you? How do you deal with it?

You all know my feelings on the subject of thank-you notes, but in case you don’t want to go read this post and this one, here is the highlights package:

1. I hate going to crowded shops but yet I love giving gifts, especially thoughtful ones. So too, I always appreciate that others took the time to shop for me or the kids and even if just for that, I want us to be appreciative and grateful and thank them properly.

2. My kids have always been required to do thank-yous. In the very early days, I’d write out the notes and have them do a squiggle, to just their name, to the whole note. Last year (6th birthday), we went away for a holiday the day after their birthday party and I wanted to get the thank-yous done before we left, so I had them record voice messages and we sent those out. The recipients LOVED them (i must say, better than the paper notes!) so we might do the same this year.

3. I definitely like to know if people have received gifts I’ve sent, and I think it is just good manners to acknowledge the gift.

4. I personally thank the giver in person, but I will send an SMS afterwards to thank them again. Another thing I like to do is if I’m using the thing, I’ll send a quick SMS to say, “oh, I’ve just opened the body wash you gave me (or whatever) and I love the fragrance – thanks again”.

5. I’ve given gifts before (posted) and if the recipient hasn’t even acknowledged it, they won’t get a gift from me again!

6. I suppose in summary, I feel like the how isn’t important, just that it is done. Some people (like me) love a thank-you in words so I try to remember who prefers auditory and who prefers written. One time the kids slaved over their written thank-you notes and the recipient read and tossed it in front of the kids. I remember Connor’s shocked face. He is an acts of service boy so by him writing it out so nicely and it being tossed, it hurt him.

Aunty Funso loves written thank-you notes 🙂

For the birthday that just passed, we did whatsapp voicemail messages to all the kids (this is apparently our new thing) but proper phone calls to the family. Some people gave experience gifts (Spur gift vouchers) so when we were there using the vouchers, we took photos and sent it to them.

What is your take on the thank-you notes saga?

Do you do thank-you notes?

Filed Under: Intentional living, Personal, Time management Tagged With: thank-you notes

15 Aug 2014 by Marcia Francois 7 Comments

#kandcturn5 – 5th birthday monkey party – thank-you notes

So I’ve written a lot about thank-you notes over on this blog over the years. Here is one post.

I strongly believe in thank-you notes, these days even more than before.

I actually googled something about age appropriate thank-you notes and the comments on the particular post were so… well, ugly, especially from people who didn’t feel they had to send a note.

Monkey birthday party | Organising Queen

Four sets of twins

a few quick notes on my thinking:

People have taken the time to traipse into a mall and buy something for you. They then wrapped it and some very nice people even attached a card (I love cards!).
The least I can do is instill in my kids gratitude both for the gift but more importantly, for the time spent in getting it.
(maybe it’s because I hate shopping so much – I’m a “surgical shopper” (a phrase I picked up somewhere) – I go in, get what I want and get out)
In years past, it’s still been a partnership – I’ve handwritten all those notes myself and the kids have helped in varying degrees – sticking the stamps, choosing the washi tape, putting stickers on the envelope, going with me to the post office, etc.

This is a font but it is a neater version of my actual handwriting 🙂

After the party, I sent this note to all the guests by email, along with one photo with most of the kids.

So this year they can write!

On the one hand, that’s great. On the other hand, they don’t get the whole spacing thing (no matter how many times I tell them) and I had to physically stop and take deep breaths MANY times.

I was really tempted to just do all the notes myself – it would have been quicker, neater and most of all, prettier!

BUT then I remembered the purpose of me going through this torture – to make them feel grateful and express that gratitude. It’s not about me and what people think of me.

How we did it:

They were not allowed to play with anything til after they’d done the thank-you note. I allowed a few things on the weekend because I wasn’t ready with the card assembly line yet.
I gave each twin half of the cards to do; I think Connor had about 2 extra because he was going faster.
They decorated the envelope and stuck washi and address labels on the back.
I wrote down the people’s names; they copied that and they know how to write their own names.
Connor wrote : From Connor and Kendra; Kendra wrote From Kendra and Connor

Result – it was imperfection at its very best.

However, my mother, Dion’s mother and one of our friends (at the time of this writing) all told me they LOVED the thank-you notes, so I’m considering three out of fifteen a success!

Do you do thank-you notes?

Filed Under: Organising, Personal Tagged With: Monkey birthday party, thank-you notes

25 Aug 2011 by Marcia Francois 9 Comments

Party planning 5 – thank-you notes

I have a thing about thank-you notes.

As in, I really believe strongly about being grateful and showing your gratitude to others.

I’m also super-fussy (!) about the format in that I like real thank-you notes written out by hand.

I think it’s because my love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service, and when I receive some lovely words in a card that someone has taken the time to write out, I feel so, SO appreciated.

Pure love!

I want others to feel that way too. I just don’t think a quickly-fired off text message/ email is enough to show our gratitude.

(if you’re bristling, please tell me why and remember this is MY opinion)

Strangely for things given to me, I don’t mind sending an email. Hmmm…

I know this is not always possible but I will do my best for as long as possible, and then the babies will have to take over and do their own cards.

As an aside, a work friend gave the kids some hand-me-down tools that her boys didn’t want anymore.

When I brought these tools home for the kids, they were over the moon.

That evening, I phoned my friend and had the kids say, “thank you, Aunty Annelize, for the tools” – she LOVED getting the message.

And then I handed a pencil to each of them and told them to “write thank-you to Aunty Annelize” on a blank card.

They made a few scribbles, I labelled them with their names, and then wrote in a thank-you note around their “words”.

Very cute and the next day she loved it.

It’s still displayed on her desk. Actually, would you like to see a pic?

Back to the party.

So of course, after our party, I had to write out about 13 or so notes.

Most from the party but we also had gifts sent from family and people who couldn’t make the party.

These were all part of the same printables set from the PaperGlitter etsy store.

This is how I do mass thank-yous. I’m sharing lots of detail because I like detail. Skim over it if it’s not your thing.

On the night of the party, I take pics of each present with the card. This is for my memory so I don’t thank Susan for a puzzle she didn’t gift us! Also, the act of positioning and taking the photos seals it in my mind and I’ve rarely had to look back and check on things. But still, it’s there if I need it.
I then count up how many cards I need to write out.
I take out all the cards and envelopes and address the envelopes.
If we’re seeing any of those people in the next week, I’ll keep it back to go by hand.
Otherwise, I put the postal addresses on the envelope, with stamps, ready for my note.

And then the writing starts.

I like to be really specific. I learnt years and years ago on some management training that to say “great, well done” is not as meaningful as “well done for remembering to phone and give the client feedback”, for example.

And so my cards are quite specific, not just a “thank you for the present”.