When I did my birthday review last year, I noticed that I was feeling lonely and disconnected. When I feel like this, something that always works is to look outward and be generous.
I pondered and thought about what I could do to stop me focussing on myself, and I thought of something super fun.
I would give 50 gifts over the next year, from 6 August 2023 to 2024.
Depending on your mileage, that may seem like a lot or a little. I know that certain times of the year it is easy but I also was aware that since we don’t exchange Christmas gifts with friends, this might be a challenging but fun task.
And you know what, it was.
Here are my notes:
- 50 means I have to be focussed and intentional on giving at least 4 gifts a month, and then some.
- I didn’t count gifts to my immediate family as that was happening anyway. The purpose of the project was to get me out of my head and into new territory.
- Gifts include actual gifts, but also taking someone to lunch or supper for their birthday.
- Gifts didn’t include the R250s that are collected for someone’s baby shower or wedding at work.
- I noticed that many people in my work life had milestone birthdays this year and I decided to get a really nice gift for those people.
I have had many questions from people in real life.
Did you reach your project goal?
Yes, I actually ended up on 55 gifts. Indeed, some months I only gave a few gifts (1 in May, 2 in July) but February was a bumper month of 8 gifts and March was also good with 5 gifts.
How did people react?
Most of the gifts were for birthdays so the reactions were surprise and happiness. Others were genuinely dumbfounded at the thought that they were getting a random gift from me. These were the most fun.
Interestingly, a lot of people don’t say thank you properly these days which is always very interesting to me. Maybe gifts is not their love language and they were just confused? I didn’t let non-reactions put me off though. After all, I’m an upholder 😉
Wasn’t it expensive?
Yes, some of it was. I only realised that I should create a line item in my budget for gifts in April this year. They do sort of even out after a while. Food is expensive so the lunches/ suppers do get expensive but then you can also buy a few small “just thinking of you gifts” that don’t cost very much too.
Did others reciprocate?
A few did, but that wasn’t the point of the project, and I certainly didn’t expect it.
Will you do it again?
I’m not sure. I will for sure keep giving to the relationships I want to tend, and definitely continue taking people out for lunch and supper. The actual giving of gifts does take intentionality and forethought though and I’m not sure if I have the energy over this next year of my life.
Tell me about a fun project you’ve had.
That is a lot of gifts! Well done to you on achieving your goal.
I haven’t had a fun project in a while, but I do have plans for one in 2025.
I too found that people don’t say thank you easily these days. I keep on preaching to people, that not everyone knows that you’re thankful for what they gifted you. I believe we have a responsibility to thank people for what we receive. A simple thank you, goes a long way.