{2019 review} The Four Tendencies workshops: the good, the bad, and the ugly

If you’ve been following me for a hot minute, you’ll know I’m obsessed by personality frameworks, in particular, The Four Tendencies.

After the book came out, I mentioned to my accountability partner, Beth, that if Gretchen ever offered workshop facilitation, I’d have to do it because I love the content so much.

Well, she offered workshop facilitation late last year and after dithering for a bit (would people want to come to workshops? would I be able to train enough people to recoup the costs?), I bit the bullet shortly after the new year when I remembered that my word for 2019 is BOLD.

And that’s when the fun started.

The good

I loved every single minute of teaching the material, interacting with my workshop participants and running the workshops. The a-ha moments, sharing the content, but most of all, the stuff you can’t really prepare for – the participants’ questions in the sessions and figuring out the answers; why a particular strategy works for A but not for B, how parents could do X differently with Y kind of child to ease their relationships, etc. I found that the Tendencies gives couples, sisters, and friends the language to explain things. It is the actual best!

I also had the privilege of running two corporate workshops (book me if you want me to do a half-day teambuilding event with a difference) which were truly fantastic. The teams were both so open and vulnerable and we all learnt a lot from each other.

As I am a systems person, I quickly honed my processes – I made lists in Excel of what needs to happen before a workshop, I know which food to buy and order, email the lady to print my handouts a week before and all the preparation is very streamlined.

A friend told me a few months ago that workshops are my sweet spot. It’s true – I get to play with stationery, faff in my house, interact with people, and train people on material that I love. Heaven!

The bad and the ugly

There is no bad or ugly but the parts I find most difficult are still the marketing and promotion pieces.

Each workshop got easier because I had so many more people who had gone through the material and experienced greater understanding and insights which, in turn, increased my confidence and credibility.

This was one of the easiest workshops to run – they booked me, and then I’d just see money popping up every couple of days in my bank account. I pitched, ran the thing and left 🙂

My word of the year was perfect for me because when I didn’t feel like promoting the workshops, I’d remember that my word was bold and put up one more Instagram post, and ask one more person.

I’ve always felt that as long as I have done everything possible, I don’t mind the outcome. So I felt absolute peace even about my smallest workshop – the one in Cape Town with 3 people – as I literally asked and told everyone I knew in Cape Town 🙂 And that workshop was fabulous – great participants, insights for all of us and more friends for me 🙂

Cape Town workshop

I also prayed at the start of the year – I think between workshop 1 and 2 – that the groups would consist of exactly who was supposed to be there, and they really have been that. We’ve had fantastic groups of people but I still feel very fond of the very first group who put their faith in me – thank you Teresa, Fatima, Cindy, Phetsile and Luisa!

In closing

I can’t wait to continue to offer these workshops next year. I’ve already scheduled the first one for Saturday, 8 February 2020, and I can’t wait to welcome you to my home if you know you want to be there. This is a really fun thing to put on your #20in2020 list. Book your place here.

One of my #20in2020 goals is to either run a Four Tendencies workshop or do a Four Tendencies talk for children! If you want your child to attend, please let me know.

Some interesting stats

  • Married couples: 2 pairs
  • Parent and child: 2 pairs
  • Friends: many, many, many
  • Sisters: 3 pairs
  • 1 supper club
  • 2 corporates
  • 8 workshops in total
Four Tendencies stats

Tell me all your questions. If I was reading this, I’d have plenty 🙂 Do you have any questions for me?

Spring into organising

We had snow again this week in some parts of Jhb and it is cold.

Monday was 12, yesterday was 14 and today was about 16.

Tomorrow is also 16 degrees and then there’s a cold front hitting us on Friday.


I want to know what this is if not a cold front!

But there’s a bright side to this very cold weather according
to all those who grew up here (I didn’t).

It means that spring is just around the corner. I know I’m not the
only one in Jhb to say, “I’m sooooooo ready for spring!”

So with the coming of spring, that means it’s time to come out of

Time to start socialising again.

Time to shrug off winter.

Time to get organised and open up your home again.

And so I’ve put together a virtual Spring into Organising workshop.

That means wherever you are in the world, you can participate. And
even if you can’t participate LIVE (as in the time doesn’t quite
work for you), you can still benefit because you’ll get the
recordings and can catch up the very next day.

Doesn’t that sound good?

I want to create some momentum and inspire you to action so there
is an early bird price which will go up in a few weeks.

Don’t ever pay more than you need to because of procrastination!

Virtual workshop from anywhere in the world

If you’re in Johannesburg though, join me for the live workshop

I’ll be honest – I’m not sure if I’ll continue doing in-person workshops for the rest of this year because the number of readers on my Johannesburg list is very, very small. 🙂

So if you’re in the Gauteng area, please help me get the word out by letting all your friends know.

Are you joining me for one of the workshops?

Are you looking forward to the change of season?

How I get it all done

I had so very many questions in the recent survey from readers wanting to know how I manage to do it all.

I’m not sure if I should be flattered that you think I do it all because I really don’t.

Yes, I probably do a lot because I’ve always had quite a bit of energy but there’s much more I don’t do.

Let me explain:

1. I’m very clear on my life purpose

I have a life mission typed out (not pretty or cute, just typed out) and I know my definition of success in life.

I also know my values. A quick secret – one of those values is not to have the laundry perfectly done (far from it), but it is to take consistent action.

Are you clear on your life purpose?

2. I’m best friends with “good enough”

For me, it’s better to have something done than have it perfect.

If you’re cringing at that sentence, let me tell you that I used to be you. Until I got coached on the fact that trying to get the last 20% of any project perfect usually takes more time than it took to do the previous 80%.

E.g. if I think of something that’s completely out of my comfort zone, making a picture collage in Picasa, it literally takes a few minutes to select some pics and group them in a collage. The playing with it to get the best configuration with the best background and font, etc, etc takes about 3 – 5 times longer than just the collage.

Of course, there is a time and place for prettying something up – maybe for your children’s birthday party *ahem* but for general sending out of occasional pics to family, it’s not necessary to be perfect. Good enough is more than fine.

Do you know when 80% is enough, or are you still stuck on perfect?

3. I have a To Not Do list

We all know there are 24 hours in a day and there is not enough time to do everything.

So it is key to know which things to leave on the To Not Do list.

In my business, I do only things that need my “essence” (for lack of a better word) and delegate the rest.

My virtual assistant, Patricia, uploads my articles to the directories and does everything on my to Not do list.

In my personal life, it’s important for me to cook from scratch (I like knowing what the “babies” eat) but I don’t peel and chop the veggies myself, the nanny and Pick & Pay help with that.

Can you see the difference?

4. I decide where I want to use my time and I don’t feel guilty about the other areas

Be intentional about your time usage. I watch (it’s on in the background) about 20 minutes of TV Mon – Fri as I change from work clothes, pack gym clothes and work bag, etc.

That’s it.

If you spend more time watching TV because it’s your relaxation, have at it. Don’t feel guilty.

I’ve chosen to do otherwise. Neither is right or wrong.

I do spend about 3 – 3.5 hours on the computer in the evenings, working on the business and connecting with friends through email/ Facebook.

I don’t feel guilty about that time because I know why I’m doing it.

Of course I procrastinate sometimes by surfing blogs too much but since I generally get things done, occasionally if I slip up, I don’t beat myself up about it.

How about you?

Where do you want to be spending your time and why? Are you intentional about it?

5. I take consistent action

Unfortunately getting things done is not going to just happen so you’ve got to take action all the time.

Whether it’s doing just one big forward leap or lots of little leaps, I try to take some action every day.

I’m fairly good at constantly reviewing where I am in relation to my goals – I don’t know if it’s because that’s just who I am or because I coach.

Confession – when I feel like I’m getting stuck (which happens about two – three times a year), I get specific coaching to help get me unstuck. There is nothing worse for me than that feeling of not moving forward.

I’ve been working with a new coach and one of my key goals for the next 3 months is to start and finish my book. So far so good.

Do you take enough regular action? Do you have a plan when you get stuck?

To end off, let me leave you with one of my favourite quotes:

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.

-Lin Yutang

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