You have my permission to relax

Last year was not the best Mother’s Day (even though it was my first) as I was sleep deprived and the babies were still such a lot of work.

I know nobody talks about the hard times but hey, that’s what you come here for, right? Honesty 🙂

Anyway, so this year I was determined to have a much better day.

I did a couple of things that worked really well and when I was reflecting on them, I thought this might resonate with a couple of you too, so here goes:

I made my expectations clear and didn’t expect my husband to read my mind

He asked what I wanted and I told him “small and practical gifts, one from you and one from the babies, plus some me time”

I gave myself permission to take the me time

I realised after I asked for the “me time” that nobody had ever prevented me from taking it.

Least of all him.

It’s me who runs around cleaning the house and doing, doing, doing when I could easily stop and take a rest while the babies nap.

It’s cold in Jhb now and last week I realised that I needed some more long-sleeved t-shirts as I was still wearing 3 from when I was pregnant in the early stages, and another 2 from when I was huge.

Not a good look!

So off I went on Saturday morning for a solo shopping trip. One hour, R550 later and I was recharged.

On Sunday morning after we fed the kids, I jumped back into bed and had my breakfast. I chose to read for about 45 minutes.

Late afternoon when they were having their 2nd nap, I had another read.

It was heavenly.

But I realised that I need to give myself permission more often to do “nothing”. To relax.

How about you?

Are you also go, go, go? Do you need to give yourself permission to relax too?

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear readers.

I just want to take the opportunity to thank you for reading and for commenting.

Every comment makes my day – it really does – and I love that you take just a minute to encourage me.

Today, take a few minutes to do something to love yourself.

  1. Take 10 minutes to have a cup of tea and read a magazine.
  2. Have a bubble bath.
  3. Have a shower and use your good stuff (the fancy shower gels and body scrubs)
  4. If you find yourself speaking negative words to yourself, stop and speak kindly.
  5. Turn up the music in your car and sing your heart out. Don’t concern yourself with what the other drivers are thinking.
  6. Have a bit of chocolate and savour every mouthful.

How do you plan to show yourself love today?

You have my permission

Hmmm, when I hear the same thing in a number of different places, I stop and pay attention.

This was the second time.

I was listening to Beth’s simple ways to take care of yourself and she mentioned getting a permission buddy.

A permission buddy gives you permission to do those things you don’t want to do, but feel you should. Or to do things you want to do but don’t feel you can do (like relax when the work’s not done *ahem*).

Like… when you don’t want to serve on a committee, go to a party or sign up for extra tasks.

You can say to the person, “I’l get back to you on that because I have to check with someone”

That someone is your permission buddy.

The permission buddy then says, “um, yes, it’s okay to say no” and you go do it happily.

Or when there’s a big pile of dishes or laundry and you really just want to go curl up with a book.

Your permission buddy says, “it’s okay to relax; you need to take care of yourself too”.

Somehow in a lot of us, women especially, there’s a need to get permission before doing something.

Or not.

I encounter this a lot while coaching and find myself saying things like…

“No, you don’t have to do that”

“You are entitled to have ____”

“Yes, it really is okay to not love X aspect of your job”

I just never thought of it as giving permission before.

So for today, I’ll be your permission buddy.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.

You don’t have to go to any functions you don’t want.

You have my permission 😉

Where do you want to get “permission” to not do, or do things?

Marcia Francois is a time management coach and speaker who helps busy women break out of overwhelm, make the most of their time and take purposeful and focussed action. Visit for your free Organising Success Pack.

If you’d like help creating a life you absolutely love, contact me about my coaching services.

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